The other day my mother-in-law and her nephew came to our house while we were at work to pick up some furniture. While she was there she allowed her nephew to take a movie of ours without asking us first. Though yes it is just a movie I felt my space had gotten invaded by her just taking it without asking. We would have said yes anyway but to me it was the principle of the thing. Well I happened to call her and in a very calm manner explained to her how I felt, that I didn't want to argue and that I loved her but I felt this was an invasion of privacy. She got highly offended (as she always does if anyone says anything negative towards her) and started to raise her voice. I simply told her that I just thought she needed to know how I felt. After all, she has done things like this in the past without asking but I never said anything. To me this was the last straw and something needed to be said. My husband agreed with me and told her she shouldn't have taken the movie. Was I wrong?
2006-12-07 15:59:55 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Nope, I think you were right. If you wouldn't have finally stood up for yourself, she would have kept doing it. I had to do that to my MIL, and things got better. She could have called you and asked ya about the movie, it would have only took a second. This is when I would want to change the locks to keep her out. I am glad to know that your husband backed you up also. Have a good day, good luck.
2006-12-08 02:43:51 · answer #1 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you something... How many times has your husband went into him moms home and took something to eat or what ever..and would you have felt the same way if it had of been your mom... Or maybe if you had of went into your parents home and they wasn't there would you have called them up on the phone and said mom I'm taking this movie.... I don't think so.... I really feel that you was a little over board on this one... Now if she was looking in your underware drawer or somthing that would be differant.... but a movie....
I don't think so.... I think you owe your mother in law an apoloby from the sound of it you have no kids as of yet..
2006-12-07 16:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she needs to learn that she is not the woman of the house anymore when it comes to her husband and cannot do as she pleases wherever she wants. You weren't wrong at all. That is you and your husbands house, not hers, and she should not have come in and invaded your space like that. You should feel comfortable in your own home and not have to answer to your husbands mother. I think you were right for standing up to her and showing her you are the woman of your household and you say what goes!
2006-12-07 16:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by Amy V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was rude not to ask in the first place. If my mother-in-law (to be) comes over for anything, she ALWAYS double checks with me before letting her grandson do anything. Even if it is just getting a drink.
She is not teaching her nephew any manners by letting him just take what her wants without asking.
I would have told her too, don't feel bad.
2006-12-07 16:28:29 · answer #4 · answered by moobiemuffin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, she was.
Movie or not, what she did was give someone permission to take something that wasn't hers to give. Even though you will probably get it back, she should have had more respect for you and your possessions. And it was a big invasion of privacy for them to go through your things when you weren't at home. Even if he just looked at your movies, and nothing else, they weren't there for that reason.
If it were me, I would make sure she wasn't in my home again when either my husband or myself weren't at home to avoid any future offenses.
2006-12-07 16:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were SOOOOO right to do so. I kinda have 2 mother in laws, and both of them do little things just like that. Petty? Maybe. Infuriating? DEFINITELY!! I haven't had the guts to do what you did yet. I'm not sure if I would be able to maintaing my composure either. Two thumbs WAY up for you. I know you probably still feel guilty for doing it, but rest assured you were right.
2006-12-07 16:04:49 · answer #6 · answered by DrRocco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way. I would have done the same thing, or at least had my boyfriend talk to her about it. That is a complete invasion of privacy. EVEN if you would have said yes.
2006-12-07 16:02:46 · answer #7 · answered by memoriesareabeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't think it was such a big thing at first and that maybe you were overreacting but when you said she had done similar things in the past, I now think you did the right thing and dealt with it. You're lucky your husband backed you up.
2006-12-07 16:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she needs to know how you feel. If you keep quiet about it, you will just end up resenting her for doing it. If she knows you have a problem, hopefully she will stop doing it, and you can all be happy. She may be offended now, but she'll get over it, it's such a small insignificant subject.
2006-12-07 16:03:43 · answer #9 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way as you. Your mother-in-law was part of someone, albeit family, stealing from you. Stand your ground.
Personally, I never allow any relatives to come into my home when my wife or I are not there.
2006-12-07 16:05:13 · answer #10 · answered by Uther Aurelianus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋