This guy that I've been dating for 10 months and known for 3 years has still not told me that he loves me. He has never had a serious relationship before. He calls me all the time, will send me text messages in the morning saying "Good morning, beautiful" and messages at night saying sweet dreams. He even started to take me hunting with him, which is his ultimate passion! His parents took and picture of us in our camo and he got them developed and gave me one of us in a frame! I told him that I loved him about a week ago and he just told me that he "definitely cares for me a lot" What in the world?? Oh he has also told me that I was "growing on him"!!! Even his friends talk about how crazy he is for me and ask when we are getting married. Do you think he loves me by his actions and is just afraid to say it?? Keep in mind that his mom told me that his dad did not tell her he loved her until their wedding day!!! What should I do, is it worth hanging in there for?
2006-12-07 15:50:36 · 17 answers · asked by missinghim 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Men are very shy, and saying "I Love You" presents a big step out of their comfortable box. You should respect the fact that your man does not want to play you. He wants to mean it when he says it. Men also mature slower. They sometimes are afraid and slow to see that they truly love someone. Give him some time! You should be happy that he "cares for you a lot"... instead of griping about how your love seems to be not on the same level. Think instead that he does love you as you love him, but he doesn't know that! He only has his own definition of love... and that may or may not parallel your definition. Think about that! So instead of thinking negative thoughts about this man that only wants to love you more and more, to the point where he can convey it verbally-- try to love him more and more too! We can never love someone enough. Good luck!
2006-12-07 15:56:06 · answer #1 · answered by reba 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the guy, so I have no clue if he's just afraid to say it. He may have been raised in a household where men don't express their feelings, and it sort of sounds like it going by that last part. But only you can really be the judge of that.
I think you've got something worth hanging on to. He does care for you. Even though you've know each other for 3 years, you can't go by that. It may be that he didn't think of you in any romantic way before you started dating, so months in a relationship isn't so long that it's weird that he didn't return your declaration of love.
But I definitely wouldn't plan a wedding, or even say yes to an engagement ring, until I heard the words. For me, part of loving someone is the trust and security of being able to speak your mind, and share your feelings.
2006-12-07 23:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does wait til the wedding day, how will you both know that you actually love each other enough to get married?
You should talk to him about this because saying "I love you" is not a bad thing, and it should be said way before you are married.
2006-12-08 00:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes words arent that important, what really is important is how you two are happy with each other, and are perfectly knowingly without having to say: I love you.
More then words sometimes, whats to be afraid of? Maybe he's afraid to say I love you to just anyone in his life that he's dated before. Respect him for that, maybe you'll be lucky and make him say it for you, when the time comes.
If you keep on saying I love you to him, it'll make him feel more secure to know. Nobody is wrong here, just be thankful he cares for you.
2006-12-08 00:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by rhea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's never been in a serious relationship this could be his first "I love you" and he probably wants to make absolutely sure its right.
But obviously the "I love you" thing is a problem for you so you need to clarify how he feels and how you feel.
2006-12-08 00:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by t s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he really likes you. He might not want to say it out of fear of something or because he doesnt know what to expect. But if he really does care as he says, then thats the best way of showing it, by not throwing around the words "I Love You" like they are a "Hello"
2006-12-07 23:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Broken ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think it's worth it, hang in there. 10 months is still a little early for some people. But do NOT marry him if he is not willing to say "I love you" - that is pure madness.
2006-12-08 00:03:10 · answer #7 · answered by Heidi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think people put too much importance on those three little words. Judging by his actions, he does love you! Some men are not good at saying their feelings, so they express them through actions.
2006-12-07 23:57:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could end up like a friend of mine..in 14 years of marriage he has never said I love you other than the wedding day. When they fight about it he says you know where the door is. Maybe he does think your great...but not the one.
2006-12-07 23:56:34 · answer #9 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he doesn't say it, how can you know if he FEELS it? Don't listen to his friends. As nice as they may be, they are not him, and HE needs to show you in WORDS and ACTIONS how he feels about you. If he doesn't say "I love you" by your one year anniversary, I recommend having a serious discussion with him about expressing ones self in a loving relationship.
2006-12-08 00:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by dante_cubit_3000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋