Hi there. I really need some help here. My sister found out not super long ago that her fiance was cheating on her with other women and leading a double life behind her back. Drugs and alcohol factor into this. Basically, the fiance would rather put getting high or drunk and sleeping around before my sister and the two kids they had out of wedlock. The fiance has since moved out of the home and is living on his own.
My big concern is my sister's oldest child that she had with this guy, a 6 (almost 7) year old son. Since this whole thing went down, poor Dawson has been showing signs of anger and resentment towards his father. Do I blame him? No, and the reason why is because I can relate to what Dawson is going through (when I was Dawson's age, my father abandoned me in favor of cocaine). Still, it bothers me to see my little nephew so unhappy, and I'd hate to see him grow up as bitter and resentful towards his father as I am towards mine. Is there anything I can do to help Dawson?
2006-12-07 15:38:02 · 6 answers · asked by cherrycharmca 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I really want to help Dawson cope with this, but I don't know how without projecting my feelings of resentment, anger and disappointment towards my own father onto my sister's ex. What can I do to help my nephew?
2006-12-07 15:40:16 · update #1
The best thing you can do for him, and the other child, it to talk to your sister about putting the children into counseling. Drinking, drugs, and sex are a bit complicated for small children to understand. A father that left them is hard to deal with, and they may wonder if it's their fault. A good therapist can help with any issues that may arise, and even help your sister learn to deal with any hurt and anger she's feeling.
They need to learn to cope with their feelings, and how to express them in a positive manner. If (big if here) their father ever cleans up his act, and wants to be a part of their life again, that door shouldn't be completely closed to him.
2006-12-07 15:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help Dawson get into a big brother program to be influenced by positive male role models. Speak of his father as a person, not an abandoner. You can shift his view instead of trying to change it.
2006-12-07 15:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by eleven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guaranteed smile raiser
"Dawson, you know and I know that dad has done something stupid. Parents do stupid things sometimes, don't we all. Its grown up stuff, you try not to worry too much, let them do the worrying its their mess.Same stuff happened with grandad, look how cool I turned out. After a while it will get better around here and hey I'm here and I'm the best anyway...."
2006-12-07 15:44:03 · answer #3 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try...
Talking to him about what you feel and how it has been with you all your life.
If you truly feel this way, he will understand and may be able to forgive (but never forget, forgetting is never good.) his father and move on.
P.S. DON'T give him a book, like one of my friends parents did with a problem like this.
2006-12-07 15:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to tell my nieces that their father had problems but that he loved them very much.
2006-12-07 15:41:18 · answer #5 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first why are u helping your nephew,
next did he ask for your help
actually, has your nephew seek help
2006-12-07 15:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by Martin T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋