Best friend VS. Boyfriend?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend Randall for 2 months and have known my best friend Jesse (who is also a guy) for approx. 4 years. Jesse knows my entire life story and everything about me and we have a bond I don't share with anyone else. Years back I had a thing for Jesse but he had a girlfriend at the time so I backed off and gave him his space. We have remained at the friendship level ever since. Upon introducing Randall to Jesse, there was sudden conflict. Randall said he could sense that Jesse liked me, I assured him this was not the case. Sure enough, just weeks later Jesse confessed romantic feelings for me in a note. The note stated things like "I can't stand by and watch someone not fully appreciate every breath you take" and "If we were together, I would hug and kiss you constantly and tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me" ... etc. It creeped me out and came by total surprise.


*Continued...

I tried brushing it off as if it didn’t happen but things with Jesse and I were noticeably different. If I mentioned Randall in a conversation with Jesse, he would tell me it felt like pins and needles. Finally it got to the point where the guilt was welling up in me and I had to share what had happened with Randall. After we talked about it he completely understood and asked if I would not communicate with Jesse from that point on. He also said “Your girlfriend is your best friend,“ implying that he and I should become closer. I really wish Randall and I could reach the best friend level but that could take years. Anyone else been in a situation similar to this? If so, what did you do?

I would also like to clarify that I do not have romantic feelings for my best friend. I am head over heels for my boyfriend, he's the best thing that has happened to me and we are very serious about each other ... he's the one I'll marry.

Jesse's expression of feelings for me made me more mad than anything.

Answer 1

Go for Randall, he is not loosing his chance now that he's got it. Jesse lost his chance by hiding his feelings. If Jesse really likes you and is your friend then he will understand.

Answer 2

Do u truely love Randall? or do u still have thoes romantic feelings for Jesse?

if u do love Randall, but still want to be friends with Jesse, i think u should tell them both how u feel. i don't mean just compromizing things... i mean putting ur foot down on a few things. like still being friends with Jesse, but still being Randalls lady... and Randall needs to understan u can't just stop talking to ur best friend... but Jesse needs to understand that he had his chance, but he chose to be with his lady at that time.

If u love Jesse... u need to tell Randall this... u need to break up, cuz ur just hurting urself. why stay with Randall, when u don't love him...

Also... who treats u better? if u stayed with Randall, would u be in a better place then if u got with Jesse?

If neither one is willing to compermize for u... i suggust u just forget both of them, and find someone know. and i know its not that easy, but u seriously need to do something before u really get hurt.

Answer 3

Life is confusing and it's about taking chances. But right now i think you're doing too much. Take some time alone by yourself and relax. Don't think about Jesse or Randall until you're clear minded. Lastly, listen to your heart and don't do anything you know you're not comfortable with. Best of luck.

Answer 4

If your Jesse truly liked you, he would have dated you in the 4 years that you were just friends. Why is it that all of a sudden he is single and now you seemingly look like someone he can be with.

Nope, I think that you should continue with your current boyfriend and let Jesse just be a friend!

Answer 5

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Answer 6

I didn't read entire question, but I would suggest go with ur friend. Coz u had feeling for him back in a days and he knows u for 4 years. Also, he showed his feelings for u when u finally got a bf. So may be his true feelings showed up after he saw u with a guy. So to sum up, dump ur bf and start making out with ur friend.

Answer 7

do you still like your best friend in a romantic way. If so I would explore that because what he said, I think that is the sweetest thing. Also it isn't fair of your boyfriend to ask you to give anyone up, escpecially since you've only been together for two months. If it was me I wouldn't do it.

Answer 8

Yep sure have. I'd advise you to keep your best Friend as your best friend and your boyfriend as your boyfriend. If u allow Jesse to be your boyfriend there's a good chance that u'll loose him even as your friend if things don't work out for u as a couple.

Answer 9

so this is the classic of bestfriend's true feelings. i think he had feelings for you from a while ago too, but he just expressed it to you not long ago because he couldn't stand the fact that you're taken by some other guy. but you gotta ask yourself who do you like more? who would you choose if you only had one hour left in this world? you have to make the decision of who to pick, your boyfriend or your bestfriend? good luck! =D

Answer 10

well i havent been in this situation but i kno that a bestfrien does not take long it can take less about months n well it depends on how much u really trust that person n how he/ she makes u feel that makes them a bestfrien n well i say give the guy a chance to be your bestfrien never now he might be in a couple of weeks