How do you get your boyfriend of 4 years to notice you more and pay more attention to you?

Question

I always tell him i need more attention and he says "i know" and things are ok for a day and then its the same old sh'it, I have tried everything...i dunno whether to keep trying or just leave, i want to leave but i dont, you girls know how it is...UUGGH!!

Answer 1

Have you tried the reverse psychology thing? Try not paying attention to him and see how he reacts?

Answer 2

The nasty thing about relationships is passive aggressive behavior is often the norm (IE people don't tell the other person in their relationship what's lacking (and often can't figure out what it is in their own minds) so they just act out punishments hoping the other person will figure it out. They also often have days other issues (IE work) tick them off and make "punishments" worse one day and better the next.

I couldn't see any elaborate details in your question so it make making a detailed answer tough but my guess is now he know what's not perfect about you IE your "dirty underwear" so to speak and the relationship doesn't seem so competitive it just is to be taken for granted (kind of like the pattern of relationships in the movies "High Fidelity" and "Something's Gotta Give").
Now I'm not saying go show interest in other guys or anything like that to make him compete again, I'm saying put him in situations where you can challenge him: if you're a bit (but not a lot) better than something (say running, cooking, scrabble, whatever you can think of). You know that feeling when you're young and something's forbidden or your new friend knows something you don't and you're in awe and just have to learn it (almost to the point you fall in love with the person who's making you chase the new knowledge)? Bring that out in him.

Human's are in the image of God, the creator, and have a tendency to compete to be the best creators and better themselves...and when the relationship gets older (and often more sexless) it feels like neither person is actually creating much (and often they don't as they get older: they complain more, make love less, focus on money more than good times, get out of shape, etc.)

So let him know you want to challenge him and yourself great creators and satisfiers and it should be only natural for him to team up with you.

Answer 3

If you think he needs to pay more attention to you, two things could be to blame.
1: You're a crazy woman.
2: You aren't trying hard enough.

Both of the afore mentioned possibilities are equally likely. Try acting slutty in the sack. Try doing stuff he likes to do. If that doesn't work, you're probably just too needy. Break up with him, slut around for a couple years, then try to have another relationship. Everyone needs a slut phase, men and women alike. After you have yours, you'll be all better.... I hope.

Answer 4

try hanging out more with other guys.