He has been trying to get a degree and has failed. Now he is buried in debt and looking for a new path. I can get him a decent job at my workplace and have room for him to live with me. I want to help my brother get back on his feet but he is reluctant to let me help him. I can tell he is interested in my offer but is too proud to take me up on it. How can I convince him to let me help?
2006-12-07 15:10:40 · 5 answers · asked by DrRocco 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
if it's pride, come up with a way that he can 'earn his keep' at your place. taking care of repairs, watching the kids, fixing the car, buying groceries, etc. that way he won't feel like a total loser. consumer credit counseling can help w/ his debt.
2006-12-07 15:19:18 · answer #1 · answered by Becky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look for an opportunity to talk one-on-one with your brother, somewhere pleasant and quiet... a nice restaurant over a good meal, or in one of your homes when others aren't present. Then you bring up the offer. Make it unconditional. Begin by telling him that you care for him and that you would like to give him the opportunity to live with you until he gets his path figured out, or however you want to put it. Make the job offer as well, and ask what would prevent him from working with you. Listen carefully. Do some reflective listening (eg., I hear you saying that....). Be as relaxed, friendly, and caring as you would want someone to be to you in a similar situation. If he says something like "You're always trying to run my life," well, be prepared to be as gracious as possible... you could say something like, "I can see where it might look like that... but it is really my intention just to help you out because you are my brother and I love you,"
Make the offer and ask that he get back to you in a certain period of time with his answer. Then drop it. Say something like, "No matter what choice you make, you're still my brother and I love you."
All the best!
Healthia Cynthia
Certified Comprehensive Coach
Moderator for My Monday Miracles
http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/My_Monday_Miracles/
2006-12-07 15:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you aren't offering hand outs and that he will have to lend a hand when he gets evened out. Ask him if he would offer you the same and if so then tell him your offer is good and that he is and will be welcome any time but he needs to get settled in before the holidays arrive. so that all is in place. Or course you love and pride is a very hard thing sometimes to over come . Other then that hon, I don't know Good Luck .
2006-12-07 15:20:28 · answer #3 · answered by wewamom2503 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him know that he does need this and that if he has enough money then in the future he will be debt free and can try again for his degree
2006-12-07 15:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by xo marie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him pull his head in we all need help from to time. If he had half a brain he would see that wat u r offering him will help him get back on his feet
2006-12-07 16:15:47 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋