i feel guilty too much?

Question

Every day I dread going home or just thinking about the things that I have done. Sometimes it's not that bad dut most of the time I make it bigger that what it is I have been doing this for about half a year and am starting to feel better but very slowly is their any tips on how to over come this or if anyone else does this.

Answer 1

It's funny. When I'm standing there at the cash register checking out customers all I can think about is going home. I'm constantly checking my watch so I can go home, sit down, and smoke a cigarette. Maybe you're in school and you don't want to leave. You don't want to go home. The opposite. I don't know what things you have done but quit doing them and forget about it. Don't dwell on the past. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe get an afterschool job so you have an excuse not to be there.

Answer 2

Is it true guilt, or shame?

If it is guilt try to "make good".
If you have wronged people and not apologised or are keeping something secret the only way to let it go is to get it out in the open with the person and move on.

Loads of people have this exessive guilt you talk about. It can be an indication of some kinds of mental problems like depression or OCD.

Get talking to other people or reading about things they have done. Like someone else said is this guilt justified? Are you feeling guilty because it was due to a flaw in your character? If so, maybe you haven't changed and fear making the same mistakes again.
The guilt is probably there for a reason, you just have to figure out why. It's there to help you in some way.

Having done stuff wrong doesn't make you a bad person it makes you human. Like the other person said it shows you have remorse which is a good trait.
We all make mistakes. Even killers and rapists can change and get on with life and be accepted by others. I'm sure what you've done doesn't come close to the type of stuff which usually causes people to be haunted by guilt, and everyone has skeletons in their closet.

Just try to focus on the good you've done and if you've not done much good now's the time to start! Add up all your warm fuzzy feelings and push out the guilt.

Answer 3

I have anxiety and years ago when it was really bad I might do something stupid in front of someone and I just couldn't let myself live it down. Everyone makes mistakes and do things that they don't feel great about, it's just a part of life. The important thing to realize is that you can't change the past and putting yourself down for it or feeling guilt wont change anything. If you really want to feel better about it try this; when you start thinking of those things don't be hard on yourself. Think instead "Oh I made a mistake here I could have done better", or "I really shouldn't have done that I need to be more careful". Think how you could have done or made something better or how you could have prevented a mistake. Then the next day try to follow your advice. So instead of being something negative your making it positive by learning how to turn those bad things around.

Answer 4

For starters, you should write down what you've done that makes you feel guilty and determine whether or not your actions justify excessive guilt. If your actions do justify excessive guilt, then maybe you need some counseling or to work at changing who you've become, and stop doing things that you shouldn't be doing. On the other hand, if your guilt is extreme, in comparison to how most people would react, then you know you have a problem that needs attention.

Do you have other obsessions? If so, then do you do things to try and rid the obsessions? For example, if a person is praying and then out of nowhere they unwantingly stick an "I hate You God" into the prayer, and then worry about God thinking they may hate Him, and then pray even more for his forgiveness, well that's a common scenario in a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. (It does not have to revolve around religion, that's just a broad example.) Another example would be excessively worrying about something that wouldn't normally interrupt a person's daily routine.

I guess I would recommend first determining how justifiable your guilt is, and then take a look at how unwanted and obtrusive it is in your life. Then after careful examination, either take it up with your soul, or a psychiatrist. But unless your certain of the justifiability, I wouldn't try any one tactic to rid your guilt. Many here have suggested seeking religion, when in fact if you try to replace one obsession or compulsion with something that may become another, it may worsen your condition....if you indeed do have one.

I did see that someone mentioned Cognitive Behavior Therapy...great technique for ridding obessions and compulsions, not to mention for turning your life around if you're guilt is justifiable.

What is CBT? Here's an example of how to employ it:

Briefly remove self from event (freeze frame…momentarily freeze the event).

Force self to focus on something completely different for 5 minutes. (Shift thoughts away from the racing thoughts and emotions.)

Talk out problem with someone if possible.

Work through 4 CBT steps.
1. Evaluate the event causing an increase in symptoms, gain a clearer perspective of what’s transpiring.
2. Interpretation – Assign meaning to the event
3. Emotion – Determine current emotion; identify positive and negative aspects and direction of emotions.
4. Reaction – Attempt to redirect emotion to benefit well being, with a goal of minimizing symptoms

Return to event and employ strategies.

Answer 5

At least we know you're human and have a consciousness, and that's all perfectly normal. However I think you may be stressing out a little too much. Try being a little optimistic and look at the bright side of things instead of the worse side of things, it might make you feel a little more happy. You should also try taking your mind off of those things, try exercising or some other activity that will divert your attention from those thoughts.

Answer 6

Guilt comes from our conscience. If your guilt is over every little thing, then its an issue that needs psychotherapy. If the guilt is the result of something that goes against what God has indicated is contrary to His will, then repenting and asking forgiveness is the only way to clear your slate. Repenting means changing and never doing the deed again. Baptism through Christ assures we will always have forgiveness when we are truly repentent. Then your conscience will be clear.

Answer 7

I am the exact opposite. I have a mother who feels a great deal of guilt about everything. If you are a religious person than your conception of God may be skewed. But you might be a perfectionist, which I've heard is about control issues. Maybe you have a control problem and the guilt you feel is really about not being able to control everything. I know that sounds bizarre but if you really think about it, people who are controlling are cheating themselves and the universe and they know it.

Answer 8

I have felt this way before. I gradually got a handle on it (most of the time!) through cognitive-behavioural therapy. I found writing down my guilty thoughts and answering them as if I were talking a good friend helped. I mean you probably wouldn't say the things that you say to yourself to a friend! I loved a book calleed Feeling Good by David Burns and it talks about inappropriate and appropriate guilt. I wish you well!

Answer 9

Been there, my friend.

The only way we can properly understand why we are guilty, how our guilt has already been punished, and how we can enjoy forgiveness is to be willing to seriously look at who Jesus is and what he did on the cross to pay for our sin. Take the next 3 weeks and read the Gospel of John in the New Testament, just a chapter a day, and ask yourself "Who *is* Jesus??"

If you're willing to do anything to lose your guilty feeling then hopefully you are willing and open to take another look at Jesus.

Take care.

Answer 10

There are some good answers here for you already that I have read so far. However, I have no clue what exactly you are feeling soooo guilty about. So I am curious. That would help others help you better maybe?