my true love has a different religion than i do, and he just proposed.... what should i do?

Question

I am deeply in love with him, but hes muslim, and i'm agnostic. he proposed to me a week ago, but i told him i cant decide right away. what should i do? should i convert to muslim for him, should i ask him to convert for me, i know he wont want to change his beliefs as much as i dont want to mine. but he wants to start a family and everything, but if we did, what would we teach our children, should i just not marry him?

To:: xtratabasco

one reason why i love him so much is cuz he respects me, and puts me first... he doesn't treat me like a whore, or a pet, or some other girl... he treats me like a queen... and not all muslim lock up their wifes... alot treat their wifes like queens.... as does my boyfriend.

To:: xtratabasco

one reason why i love him so much is cuz he respects me, and puts me first... he doesn't treat me like a whore, or a pet, or some other girl... he treats me like a queen... and not all muslim lock up their wifes... alot treat their wifes like queens.... as does my boyfriend.

To:: :-) literary cappy

please do not confuse agnostic and atheist beliefs... agnostic believe that there IS a spirital force around, thus being what determins and creates a true love... atheist believe science can prove everything, no spirtal forces, thus nothing could determin true love... and by true love, i dont mean that the spirits guided us togeter... i mean that my love for him is true and i couldn't even think of looking at another man the way i look at him.

Answer 1

this is very serious indeed... so you've talked to him about religion and he and you are fixed in your separate views on religion? then i suggest you don't marry him unless you both don't want children. you both will end up arguing about this forever, like my parents... it's really not worth it--you're making a smart choice. AND, you don't change anything, not even religion, just to please someone. you got to change it because you really don't mind changing or you want it. remember that you only have one life to live to the fullest so what you want in life you should aim to have. there are people out there who will change to your religion or are free-thinkers, so don't give up hope :)

i suggest you talk to him about this issue again. be serious. tell him you won't change your views on being an agnostic. tell him the facts, that if you both marry, having children will split both of you because of religious issues... unless you both don't mind teaching two religions to your children (i don't suggest it, though). i hope you make a sensible choice... and remember what i've told you :)

Answer 2

A Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim woman as long as she is willing to "keep an Islamic household" and to raise the children in an Islamic way. Basically, if you don't ever cook pork, follow the other basic precepts of Islam and let your kids get a Muslim religous education, you can still personally be an agnostic.

BTW, technically speaking, Muslim WOMEN are not allowed to marry outside the "umma" [Islamic community] because Islam says the man is the head of the household

So a Muslim man could order his non Muslim wife (in this case YOU) to keep an Islamic household and raise the kids the Muslim way.

However, a Muslim woman's non Muslim husband could order her to not keep a Muslim household and raise the kids in a non-Islamic way and she'd HAVE to do it, since Islam says the wife must obey her husband no matter what.

Yeah, I know it's sexist, but those are the rules that most Muslims follow - just so you know now, before you marry him.

Answer 3

a) Theres no such thing as "True love"

if there was, and you are agnostic, then what determines who your true love will be.

b)A Muslim will not convert to agnosticism, or any other religion or he will be considered an infidel and be shunned by his family.

c)You would have to convert to Islam, and you probably would not like it, as a woman unfamiliar with Islam's teachings about women. Read up on those.

I know I couldn't do it.

Answer 4

If he's muslim then your religion doesnt matter to him.(to put it bluntly) but you can always teach your kids to be open minded. enforce the lawas of the religion but let them know theres a whole world out there

as from role of a women in a muslims society... it depends on the family of wether they want her to be completely conservative or not. but If you dont convert they prolly wont expect too much but I suggest best is to work out the finer finer finer details with him. THINK of EVERYTHING that could ensue after marriage and ask him what would happen if....?

Make sure you don't allow religion to dictate all your duties. If he loves you he sould be willing to work out the finer details!!

Answer 5

You should not convert, but practice both religions. Don't not marry him. I can't tell you how to teach your children, but try to figure out how to cooperate both religions into one. also, if this doesn't work for you, talk to him about it. see what he thinks you should do. Have a happy marriage! :) :) :)

Answer 6

you have no clue as to Muslims as far as the place of a woman in the family, do you.


run girl, run

Answer 7

If it's true love, it won't matter. I'm Jewish and my boyfriend is Christian.

We're working it out just fine. :) And, we plan on working it out in the future.

It'll work out.

Answer 8

hmm same problem as me .. i;m muslim , hes jewish... both are strong believers.. i myself dont know what to do ..

Answer 9

tough issue....don't know...i almost had the same problem though....