Which blonde joke is better? 10 pts. to whoever responds with the best blonde joke of their own.?

Question

1. This blonde is sitting in a canoe and rowing. However, the canoe is planted firmly in her front yard. Another blonde walks by and yells at her saying, "it's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come out there and beat you up"!

2. This blonde walks around her neighborhood asking her neighbors if they have any odd jobs she can do to earn some extra cash. One man says that he would like for her to paint his porch and that he will supply 4 cans of paint. The blonde returns 1 hour later, having used 1 can of paint. The man is very confused by this, because it is a huge wrap around porch. He thanks her for her service, and as she leaves, she yells over her shoulder..."Oh yeah, and you should know, it's not a porsche, it's a ferrari."

Answer 1

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

(Oh this is GOOD!!)?

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"

OR

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a lovely
blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"Okay," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But
let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same ! stuff -- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the
slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified
to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

Answer 2

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled...
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is... why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blonde replies.....
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally, a smart blonde joke.

Answer 3

1. Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
In case she had to draw blood!
2. How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.
3. How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
4. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
5. Do you know the true reason for all of these blonde jokes?
Brunettes and redheads think they look smart making them all up!

Answer 4

Number 2 is better.

1.Why was the blondeso pleased that she she finished the puzzle in six months?
Because the box read "2 to 4 years."
2. a police man pulled a blonde over for driving the wrong way on a one way street.
cop- do you know where you are going?
blonde- no, but wherever it is, it must be bad cause all the people are leaving.

Answer 5

The second one is definately better!!!
Finally - A good blonde joke.
Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He
immediately turns to her and makes his move.
"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike
up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the
guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff --
grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty,
and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss
nuclear power when you don't know sh!t :o)!

Answer 6

I cant pick they are both hilarious.

Ok. This blonde in a convertible cuts of a trucker; when they come to the next red light the trucker jumps out, draws a circle on the ground, pulls the blonde out of her convertible, puts her in the circle and says don't move. He then pulls out a knife and slashes her tires - when he turns around the blonde is laughing hysterically. He turns back towards the car and slashes her interior - turns around towards the blonde and notices she is still laughing. He turns back around and scratches her paint job all to heck. After doing this he turns back around and looks at the blonde who is curled up in the circle because she is laughing so hard. Infuriated the truck screams "What the hell are you laughing at?!" The blonde gets up, looks at him, and with a chuckle says " Everytime you turned around I jumped out of the circle.

Another one:

A blonde walks into a hair salon to get her hairdone. Stylist tells her she will have to remove her headphones. The blonde does, and the stylist does her hair. One hour later the stylist says all done, turns the blonde around to find out she is dead. Shocked the stylist picks up the head phones to hear "Breathe in , Breathe out, Breathe in, Breathe out" :)

Answer 7

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

Answer 8

#2 is soo funny,lol! A blonde and a guy are laying on the beach in Calif. looking up at the moon,the guy says to the blonde "so which do you think is closer,the moon or Florida?" The blonde says "DUH, we can't see Florida" or how about this one ,A blonde calls the emergency room and asks for a doctor,the dr. gets on the phone and inquires whats wrong? The blonde says "Doc,I'm in so much pain,everything I touch,it hurts so much".He says "what do you mean?" She says" well, I touch my leg,it hurts,I touch my arm,it hurts,I touch my back it hurts." the Doc says "maam,your finger is broken!"

Answer 9

Blond goes into a department store to buy and extension cord to plug in her Christmas tree lights..
The salesman asks her, “how long do you want it?”
“Duuuhh… I need it until Christmas is over..”

Oh well, 2 pts.

Answer 10

The 2nd one.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
There is white-out on the screen.

How can you tell if another blonde has been using the same computer?
There is writing on the white-out.