Should A Former Molested Child Be Allowed To Live With The Parent That Did So?

Question

I had a very disturbing conversation with a friend last night and considering I didn't sleep I thought I'd ask others for their views. My friend told me that her daughter was molested by her husband (not the father of the girl but another man) for a few months. Apparently the man turned himself into authority and faced his punishment. He was in jail for a year and now is out. Legally he can not be around the girl (however he has two other children with my friend) but can be around his other children with supervision. My friend is still friends with this man. They do not live together but are considering working things out. I told my friend I was outraged but she said she is doing what the therapists are telling her to. The man is considered a SEX ADDICT. Does that still seem wrong to you? It makes me physically sick to know he is out of jail. That little girl will never get over that and my friend thinks she is fine. I don't buy it. What do YOU think?

Answer 1

Absolutely not, and I am VERY surprised that reputable(?) therapists are telling her that is OK. Yes, yes you have to forgive but that does NOT mean saying what was done was OK or putting yourself in more danger! Furthermore, ONLY the little girl knows what she feels. She is NOT fine because someone else decides she is! Yes, you SHOULD be outraged!

Answer 2

I think she needs therapy when you put anything or anyone before your own child. This man's true colors will show and it will be best for her and her daughter and other children for that matter to see that bomb explode elsewhere. There are many people in the world all screwed up as adults due to the negligence of their so called parents looking the other way and not wanting to stand up for their children. She needs to run as far from this dude as possible. Yes I believe people can change , but I'm sure she doesn't want to find out if he REALLY has at the expense of her children. Good luck to this family. I hope for the children and the parents that God Will step in and make everything alright. Yes, everyone deserves a second chance but on-going family therapy along with 100% supervision seems to be the answer here. May God be with this family and the 100's of others with similar issues.

Answer 3

No you are right, does she even care about her daughter and what the affects are for her. she will be scared to sleep at night, oh i cant even believe that this women can even think of going there, she seem more interested in her feels rather than the kids, so what he is a sex addict, he would have been better off going to a whore house or something but not a little innocient girl. I hope that you can stop this tell her that you might not be able to cope with this if it happens, tell her that if your friendship is more important than this guy then she would tell the c*** where to go, im sorry that i am up tight but i really do think this is sick. and yes 1 year in jail oh my god thats a slap on the hand and dont do it again, well i hope this poor girl the best and if she ends up hating her mum for it well i say good job.!!!

Answer 4

I think the mom of the little girl should have been sent to jail also- sounds to me like she is condoning what happened to her child. She is more guilty than he is! I tell you one thing, if this had happened to my child, he never would have went to jail, because I would have sent him straight to hell and I mean that. It seems to me this woman should not have custody of her child if she is going to chance the man molesting her child again.
I think she told you one whammy of a lie about the therapist. I have never heard of a therapist telling anyone this. It is unethical. Obviously, this woman does not give a whit about the best interest of her child , all she is wanting is Chester the Molester back in her bed. She is lower than dirt.
Another thing, if I were you, tomorrow I would go ahead and notify social services of what she told you. I would much rather social services get involved now so that man will not have one minute to contemplate if he wanted to molest the little girl again.
This just amazes me: she already knows for a fact that he molested her child, and would be willing to not only risk this happening to her daughter again, but will put the other two kids in jeopardy as well. These children need to be removed from that home immediately.

Answer 5

ABSOLLUTELY NOT!
What on earth is wrong with this mother? Any mother who loves their child would never think of herself before her own children. And I would definitely like to meet this therapist! I don't know what state you are from but in the State I reside in DCFS would have taken all the children out of this woman's house until she had proven that she had no relationship with this so-called child molester. Any real man would have never done what he has done.This child is going to be affected by this mentally for the rest of her life. I hope this guy isn't still having relations with her.I agree with you he should have done more yrs in the penn for that but I have heard in some cases that guys like this sometimes only get probation which to me is sick and the judicial system is wrong.My opinoin is that a sex offender is like an alcoholic....the temptation is always there!

Answer 6

No it's not okay. So he served some time for his crime, but that little girl's sentence is much more harsh because for as long as she lives she will remember what happened. She will never be the same. He stole her innocence. I don't understand why pedophiles have more rights than the children they abused. I also don't understand these women who choose to be with the men who hurt their children. If she allows him to come back into her home she shouldn't be allowed to keep her children because once a pedophile always a pedophile and she is putting her children at risk. This situation not only disturbs me, but angers me as well. I can't believe how stupid this woman can be to forgive a man who molested her daughter. I will pray that God keeps this little girl safe.

Answer 7

No child should ever be let near an abuser..
I was abused by three adults as a child, and had to spend years around them...It's extremely damaging to the child, and highly wrong.
I'm not surprised youre outraged. And you are right - that little girl will NEVER be over what happened.
The law today is a sham, it's just a good job that there are people out there, like you, who still care.

Answer 8

Your friend is a pervert to allow such a thing to happen. If she were worth her ovaries she would do everything in the world to keep this and all children away from this animal. No reputable psychologist or psychiatrist would recommend such a thing. You owe it to this poor, molested child to report your friend to social services if such a thing happens. I wonder if, as he is a convicted sex felon, if he really can have contact with any child. You are in a bind re your friend but this child who may become a victim again needs you more than the deranged mother of the child.

Answer 9

i think of they could specify that they are for oldsters with youthful babies. I haven't any concern with pregnant and new mom parking because of the fact in case you have an infant seat and a diaper bag or you're 8 months pregnant then you incredibly could get closer parking. those issues are HEAVY. And that's complicated to get an infant service out in a widespread sized spot. And why could a youthful newborn could spend longer interior the chilly/moist/snow than they could? the purpose of society is to guard babies and shop the species going. that is not a extensive subject to me as my son isn't born yet and that i stay in South Korea the place we've super public transportation, yet i will nonetheless see the element. yet while your youngster is the right age to stroll, then you incredibly and that they are in a position to stroll. besides, once you're a healthful individual that doesn't have a concern strolling the incredibly longer distance then why be lazy? i'm youthful, healthful and in finished administration of my physique (properly, not dazzling now as i'm 7 months pregnant) it may not be an greater solid for me to stroll from the back of the lot than that's from the front. Frankly i think of you come off looking lazy and petulant by using those strikes. you're an person, you at the instant are not donning a 20 pound infant seat and you're too lazy to stroll slightly farther? rather, it purely looks to me like this may well be a stupid element to whinge approximately... there are a number of bigger matters accessible. and human beings are in all likelihood annoyed much less by using the content textile of you"question" and greater by using the form of nasty tone.

Answer 10

Call the authorities, now. This situation somehow slipped through the cracks of the system...no pun intended.
Your "friend" is as sick as he is....but you know that already.
Unfortunately,for you, she involved you already to the point where if you don't make that call, you can be in trouble legally, not to mention morally, man, you gotta step up.
YOu can make calls anonynmously (can't spell that great) and you need to do that , you are a good person to bring it up and care, now, go earn your wings on behalf of those kids and do the right thing!!!!

One call from you can make all the difference for these kids...be a hero, for them, and ditch her, she is crazy or too damaged to know the right thing to do. You clearly know the right thing to do, go pick up that phone and do the right thing....good luck.god bless.