When I was 3, my dad died of a stroke. 10 years have now passed and I still stay up crying at night. I want to stop. I don't want to think about him any more. How do I get over it?
2006-12-07 13:12:51 · 10 answers · asked by Why Is The Rum Always Gone? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're 13? Poor kid.
You probably won't get over it anytime soon, but you will learn how to deal with it emotionally throughout your life.
I too lost my mother when I was 4, and I know it hurts sweetie.
Don't try to "not think about him anymore", but try to change the way you think about him. Look at his pictures with a smile, and a warm heart - and strive to be the young man he would of hoped you to be. Take a good path in life. Love all the people who love you, get an education, be a good human being.
One day you will be a father yourself and that is when your healing will come. HUGS 2 U.
2006-12-07 13:18:45 · answer #1 · answered by Haveagoodday! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you make a special scrapbook of his pictures or a memorial shrine in your house? Burning a candle and praying goods things for his spirit is a positive way to remember somebody.
Can you think of a special memorial project you could start in his memory, like planting a tree or garden, or creating a program for kids in a similar situation who are grieving while trying to get through school. See if there is a group you could contact with support for something like that. You cannot be the only one.
I lost my dad when I was a freshman in college and could not concentrate in school the whole time I was there. So when I tutor kids who are grieving, I can tell when they are numbed out like I was, and unable to focus. I always urge them to talk to a counselor and take time for their feelings instead of hiding them.
You can never judge where someone is with their grieving process. It took me 5 years before I reacted at all, and 10 more after that to work out issues with my family that my father left unresolved. And we're still not done, but we're better now.
[P.S. One step where I got stuck that was holding me back, was forgiving my dad for not being there for my graduation. I was so mad and hurt for years and years. So I had to verbally say it out loud that I forgave that. And years later I had to say it again to make sure that was out of my system. I didn't want to say it but it was holding me back so I had to. I felt better afterwards, but hated doing that at the time. It just made me madder thinking about it, so it was doing me no good and wasn't helping me.]
It's okay to let your feelings run their course, in whatever order or timeframe it takes to work it all out. In the meantime can you keep a journal or share with close friends who would understand? Or help you come up with a positive approach or project?
2006-12-07 13:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by emilynghiem 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just relize he is still your dad and he still loves you and is watching you every day so dont cry be happy that he is in a better place,my grandpa died of a heart attack and I was very close to him but that is what I think and thats how I get through it but I dont like crying so I just dont do it lol which sounds weird for a girl but it is hard when I think of him because I loved him very much.but once again just think of him being in a very good place and watching over you,I dont think he would want you to cry
2006-12-07 13:18:12 · answer #3 · answered by Ihatemondays:0 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'll ever "get over it." It will stay with you forever, but one day you'll think more about the positive memories and strive to live your life to the fullest... for your father. If I were you, I'd try counseling. I've gone for my own issues (not related to death) and it really helped. Hang in there! :)
2006-12-07 13:15:17 · answer #4 · answered by xenomorph_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open your heart to the Lord and ask Him to help you. You don't have to get over it--but the Lord can help you through anything--all you have to do is ask and earnestly seek Him. Search with your heart.
2006-12-07 13:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by keepingthefaith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to accept you have a problem and seek professional assistance for as long as it takes. Also, spiritual/religious assistance would be great.
2006-12-07 13:25:27 · answer #6 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have family or friends you can talk to...that can really help. You can also try your school conselor.
2006-12-07 13:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by Sweetbulbs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See counsel.
2006-12-07 13:14:27 · answer #8 · answered by Presh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get someone else to think about.
2006-12-07 13:14:14 · answer #9 · answered by ????????? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
time will heal your hurt
2006-12-07 13:14:43 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋