My ex boyfriend and I are 15. We broke up 5 months ago. We were each others first love. We were like best friends. We knew how to make each other sad. I was crazy for him. We went out for about 7 months. I try so hard to forget him. I think I'm over him but when I see him I know I'm not. He is dating my friend who is a freshman ( my ex and i are sophmores) Shes like my best friend. We get along perfectly, look alike and are practically the same. I see her and my ex hugging, smiling, laughing and hugging. It hurts me so bad. It feels like someone is shoving a pin in my heart. I get so upset when she mentions my ex in front of me. She doesn't even realize thats what upsets me. Why can't I forget him and how can I forget him?
2006-12-07 12:42:34 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this is really hard, but try to think that if you stayed with this guy, and you ended up marrying him, you will be marrying your first love that you picked while you were 15 years old. you might seem so sure now that he is the one you want, and of course you will still miss him because you were best friends, but you were going to leave him sooner or later, because you both will grow up and your way of thinking will probably change, and you will have tons of guys to choose from, and not go with your first choice in life.
don't waste days of your life being sad because it is not worth it, try to stay friends with both of them and think about the future.
and why is everyone saying that you will always have love feelings for your first love?! that's not a rule, and of course you will not forget him because you spent some time with him and u will not just lose that part of your memory, i mean you will remember him but like you remember some old friend from your school or the guy from the supermarket you always buy from.
2006-12-07 12:50:32 · answer #1 · answered by whatever 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why is she dating your ex? That's kinda a big no-no amongst friends. You don't date another friend's ex. And, you don't ever really forget your first love. They will be a part of your heart forever. But, as time goes by, they occupy less & less of it until they are just a memory--hopefully a fond one. You are young & very susceptible to being hurt. What you are feeling now is natural, and being around your friend who is dating him is doing nothing but keeping your wounds raw & fresh. I would say that you could ask your friend to try & not mention him around you for a while, but I still really would question why she's dating him in the first place.
2006-12-07 12:46:43 · answer #2 · answered by Froggy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The heart learns, it has it's own will, it cannot be controlled. It sounds cliche but you never forget your first love. Remeber these words and watch how your heart grows and learns over time. Each love is different. Think of all of the different ways you love. The things you truly love you will never forget. Be open to things of joy in life and remember it is only time that makes you really heal from a true love.
2006-12-07 12:49:47 · answer #3 · answered by Norse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your 'friend' and tell her how much it hurts you. then realize you will never forget your first love, the pain of losing them will only lessen. I lost my first love 4 years ago when I was 14, My boyfriend and I have now been together 2 years (different guy of course) and we are very much in love and plan on getting married, but I still sigh when I think about my ex.
2006-12-07 12:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Elizabeth Swan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So many wise answers! Impressive!
I too still have great feelings for my first love, some 40 some odd years ago! I think of her often! It is only natural. This was/is the person who was/is responsible (in some aspect) for making you who you are today! Who you will be tomorrow!
IMHO, neither of you should ever let go of something so very special! Accept what you had as something unique. There will only be one other who can surpass these feelings! Your soulmate! In time you may understand!
Never forget this person or what role they have played in your life! Accept your friends good fortune and wish her well!
The only time I would recommend otherwise is if He is using her and Her life is in danger. Otherwise, forgive and give your blessings. Tell her how you feel so that she can understand!
IMHO,
The Ol' Sasquatch Ã
2006-12-07 13:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by Ol' Sasquatch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie your first love is always going to be in your heart and you will always have a specail place in your heart for him. There isn't anything you can do.......he was a big part of your life, in love and growning up......that wil always be there! I fell in love for the first time when i was 18..we were together 3 years and he was everything to me. He didn't treta me very well so i broke it off. it was the hardest thing i ever had to do, but i had to do it. He still holds a place in my heart because loveing him and everything i experienced with him was a big part of who i am now. I am 23 and am very happy without him, but I still think about him and i will always hold a place for him in my heart, he was my first love and thats something that no one can take away...you can love someone as much if not more. it is what it is
2006-12-07 12:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by Beautiful disaster 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I completely understand the same thing happened to me. Except we had been together for 5 years. 5 years... do you know how long it is? The only way to get over it is time. We have been apart for about 6 months, and the pain is going away little by little. Now I see him and feel n o t h i n g. But then I will walk into my closet, and see the corner which I dedicated to him with all his gifts and things I've doodled about him, and feel a little sad. But it will soon pass. I know it will.
2006-12-07 12:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by Liz♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am 34 years old, I have been with my husband since I was 16 years old. He wasn't my first love.Gosh I will ALWAYS remember my first love, I still have dreams about him. We grew up together. I think there is a special bond with all first Love's. I think about him often, but I am happy with my husband, we have 2 beautiful children. But I always have a question deep in my head, What if? And for you friend- I always had a pack with my friends- we don't date or mess around with each others Ex's. Have a talk with her, let her know it hurts you!!!
Good luck!!!
2006-12-07 12:51:22 · answer #8 · answered by Pivey 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not going to forget him, that's a memory you'll likely carry for life (your first love) but you DO need to get over him, and you have control over that
Limit contact as much as possible (out of sight, out of mind)...then realize he's moved on, so why let him rent space in your head and heart for free? He's not sitting around pining over you, nor should you over him...
There are going to be plenty of other boys (and men eventually) in your life...don't worry about that...there will be ones that are good matches and that you'll have great times with..
Why waste another moment of time not moving forward so you can meet these guys? Get yourself together...you're going to be fine!
2006-12-07 12:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you're never going to forget him girl. believe me I'm in almost the exact situation (except the who friend going out with him thing) and I can't forget him, no matter what I do. I even went so far as to try to convince myself I hated him. Time will ease the pain. Just go with the flow.
2006-12-07 12:45:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋