I have a friend who has three cats and she lets the cats jump all over her kitchen counters, dining table, etc. Whenever i go to her house, there is cat hair all over her carpet, and I dont mean just a little bit of cat hair, but like you can see the cat fur balls all over her carpet. She has invited me and my husband to Christmas dinner and judging from a past experience, she just doesnt seem to know how dirty her house is. Last time we went to eat dinner at her house, the placemats that our dinnerplates sat on were full of cat hair too. My husband was horrified and barely touched his food.
I feel so bad having to say no to their thoughtful invitation but I just cant seem to be able to eat at her house. How do I handle this situation? I know that she will continue to ask me to come over and eat and I just cant seem to get past the cat hair issue.
Help!
2006-12-07 12:31:26 · 18 answers · asked by knowitall 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
When she invites you over, tell her you have a prior engagement/commitment/whatever, that can't be changed.
2006-12-07 12:33:57 · answer #1 · answered by Sax M 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just doesn't realize it. If she is a really close friend, just sit down with her, face-to-face, and tell her gently. I have 3 indoor dogs, and in the past I have had cats. Yes, you can usually find pet hair in my home, but I am very careful when I am cooking for others. I make sure I wipe down the countertops, etc. and keep the pets out of the kitchen while I cook. She may be a little embarrassed and it may be a little awkward, but you may not be the only person who feels this way about her situation. Another option is to offer to come over and help with the meal preparation and "tidy up" the counter tops, table, etc.....Good Luck
2006-12-07 12:38:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kiddo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is it really that bad or do you just have a thing against animals in the house? I can't imagine that there was really cat hair on the plates. but if you say so
you could go and eat there, and fix the problem. while you are eating, notice that there is some cat hair, and gently point it out,
"oh, there is some cat hair in my food. how did that get there?" then say, "you know sarah, this has happened before, and i'm not sure if you've noticed but i think your cats shed a lot. my aunt has cats that shed a lot, and she has to clean her house more than most people, but she always says thats the price of loving animals."
2006-12-07 12:37:33 · answer #3 · answered by -- 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hair all over the place is icky (and I'm a cat lover). What's worse, is the fact they walk in the litterbox and then may run around on the table or counter tops.
Say the kitty allergies are acting up and you'll have to pass.
Invite them over instead if possible.
2006-12-07 17:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. iknow the feeling. my aunt has dog hair everywhere. and i used go to church with a lady who baked a lot, we stopped eating the baked goods when we visited and saw the cats and the hair everywhere in the kitchen and the rest of her home.
what we do with my aunt is we don't stay too long and we rarley eat there, we normally bring food with us if we are going to eaat. ya know like hey this is my treat.
so why don't you tell your friend that you wanted to do Christmas at your house or some other friends house. i mean it is Christmas you can come up with lots of excuses but for other dinners ... i don't know. ask miss manners you may have to tel her a very nice version of the truth.
2006-12-07 12:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by kdf_333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like they have a cleaning problem instead of a cat prob. Why have cats & then let them live in a dirty house?? Obviously ur friend doesn't realize her house is dirttty. DON'T eat at her house. Maybe suggest takin her out to some "special" restaurant that u would want'em to try. she needs to be told to clean her house tho bc cats like it clean too.. they can't really do that on their own but i bet they wish they could. She needs to keep the cats in 1 room while doin some major cleaning esp in the kitchen.
2006-12-07 12:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by Cr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could tell her you have your own dinner planned or invite her over to your house. Hopefully she won't bring the cats. Or you could tell her that you are uncomfortable with the amount of cat hair in her house. I know it doesn't seem polite but isn't it more impolite not to tell her that cat hair in and around the food is nasty and just make excuses to avoid her house, what if someone (like myself) were allergic to cats that house would be a deathtrap. Find a polite way of telling her that you don't want to eat cat hair again. Like saying "I don't mean to be rude, but the amount of cat hair that was there the last time we were over to your house disturbed us." From there you could invite her to your house but that would be up to you.
2006-12-07 12:46:59 · answer #7 · answered by anjelfun 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're going to need to combine truthfulness with a bit of tact. You can tell her you and your husband have had reactions to the cat hair and think you may simply have a bit of an allergy (you do, you're allergic to the idea of fur in your food!), but you'd be happy to meet them for dinner out somewhere or host them at your home! Apologize wildly and tell her how dear a friend she is to you, and say you much you love cats and it's so hard that you can't enjoy them as you wish you could!
2006-12-07 12:36:16 · answer #8 · answered by wynterwood 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
{Wynterwoo} said it best..... I think that it would actually work for the best with that scenerio and I don't think they would think twice about it but probably agree to meet somewhere else for dinner. I do think it would be rude to make up a lie that you have other plans because it sounds like this friend will want to invite you to other events beside this.... better to nip it in the bud now. A dose of truthfulness a little sugar coated but thats fine.
2006-12-07 12:50:51 · answer #9 · answered by Happy2bAlive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the problem well. As you are friends you should be able to speak plainly. "Look, I know you love your critters, but I have a real problem with eating in places animals live in, can we go out for a meal together". She does know her cats crawl on the counters and she doesn't care! The food hygiene in your friends house is not really worth getting sick for. She may get huffy but if she really wants people over she will have to clean up! Untidy is one thing, dirty is another...animals in the house is DIRTY.
2006-12-07 14:37:36 · answer #10 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
an easy way out would be a white lie and an invitation combo...say you love her cats and she has a beautiful house, but you are allergic to the cats and the cat hair. then, offer an alternative: ask her over to your place instead, and ask her if she would help you by cooking the side dishes and desserts, and you'll cook the main course. That way, she can be involved in the christmas cooking, but you wont suffer in her messy house.
2006-12-07 12:36:30 · answer #11 · answered by HazelEyes 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋