Would you still trust him?

Question

Here's my friends story.. she's been with her bf for 4 years, they live together. About a year ago her bf came clean with the fact that he had previously lied to her about how many people he had slept with (when they first met he told her he had 1 previous gf and had slept with a total of 3 people..when in fact he's never had a gf and he had only slept with 1 girl.. an older girl who he hardly knew but happened to be at the same party one night and were both drinking). He was 17 when it happened and states his lies were to cover up something he was deeply ashamed of. Its been quite a while now and my advice to my friend is to forget it but it seems as if it's too difficult for her to do so. My question is would you be able to trust someone who did this to you?

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT SHE TOO LIED ABOUT HER MAGIC NUMBER...TOLD HIM 3 WHEN IN FACT IT WAS MANY MORE.

ALSO, HE CAME CLEAN WHEN HE WAS PRETTY MUCH CORNERED. MY FRIEND BECAME FRIENDS WITH THE SUPPOSED 1ST GIRLFRIEND (WHO WAS REALLY JUST A CLASSMATE), SHE WOULDVE FOUND OUT THE TRUTH IF HE WOULDNT HAVE COME CLEAN.

Answer 1

Well i think i would forgive him for sure. He seems to be a thoughtful guy. If he says he only told a lie to cover up something he was very ashamed of. I say try to workk toward forgiving him, and work on the problem. BUT that does not mean he has the excuse to lie again, just cause he was ashamed. With much communication, the relationship will be fine.

Answer 2

Yes of course I would. This is not a lie about something he did during their relationship. I don't think it has anything to do with something he was ashamed of - this sounds to me like a guy who didn't want to admit, even to his gf, that he was so inexperienced!

The fact that he now feels able to confess, says GOOD things about their relationship, not bad. He feels so committed to this gf that he wants to tell her the whole truth about everything, even things that are embarrassing for him. That's a great sign.

Answer 3

the matter of it all is, he lied because he was/is ashamed of the amount of experience he has. if your friend wants to be mad at him, it has to be for the right reason: that he wasnt comfortable enough with her to tell the truth. whether this is because hes self concious or that shes hard to approach, either way this couple needs to talk it out if the girl is still ptight about the whole thing

a strange thing... she are talking about trusting HIM, when the real trouble seems to be from him not trusting her.

Answer 4

if he lied about being with more women and was actually with less - your friend should be counting her blessings she has such a sweet and shy type of guy who is fresh and devoted to her and was just a little embarrassed about his inexperience.
what would she rather have? a thug who lied and said he was with only 1 girl and was actually a slut?

Answer 5

Whats the problem! she should be glad he only slept with one girl, and that he is so close to to her that he can tell his secreats, she should feel lucky, its not as if he is telling her he slept with 3 woman after they had met,that would be a problem with trust.

Answer 6

Tell your friend the past is in the past and to move on and get over it. And quit the drama. He confessed it did he have too?

Answer 7

there's gotta be a reason he came clean. it shows he probably wont do it again. i would trust him again. but he would have to earn my trust by not saying white lies over the smalles things.

Answer 8

i don't think that is a big deal. i mean its not like he lied and slept with 50 girls. ya know?

Answer 9

I'd trust him more than I would trust her. He was decent enough to confess while she's still covering her lies.

Answer 10

my answer would be no because i dont like liers and tell ur friend that she would be a fool to go back wit him (if she broke up wit him). and then if she go back wit him then shell still have the bad memories in her and she would feel uncomfortable