My fiance and I have lived together on our own for two years in South Texas. We recently moved to North Texas for my school. He had to quit his job and doesn't start working for another month doing real estate. Even when he starts, at first the money will be very tight. So, we have moved in with my mom and siblings. It is so stressful to move back home, especially since I am the only one working right now and I am going to school full time. When I get home my fiance, who has ALWAYS been great and supportive and had worked 2 jobs in S. Texas, is always stressed. I can't deal with it! He hates living there, but we can't afford anything else right now. I know it's temporary, but it's so stressful to maintain my family, him, and my personal life. It has really put a toll on our relationship. He is always negative and I hate being around him. I know it's temporary, but it's too much for one person. He feels I don't pay him enough attention & I feel I need more support. I feel stuck HELP!
2006-12-07 12:13:27 · 6 answers · asked by txaggie2514 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Of course he is stressed, he's used to working hard and right now he's stuck with your mother sitting at home; he's just as stressed as you are right now!
Give each other a break, at least for another month or so, okay? Agree with each other privately to listen to each other every day for at least 30 minutes. Don't try to problem solve, just listen! Go someplace you can vent privately and let it out.
A very good speaker on marriage issues once said that sometimes you need to stop trying to solve each other's problems and just hold the bucket while they spew it out. I know, gross analogy, but appropriate. Ya'll are very tensed up and need a stress relief. Nothing is more relaxing to a couple than to let the negative flow right out with someone they trust - leaves room in the spirit for some of the good stuff!
Good luck, and remember, it really is only temporary - one day you will look back and either laugh together or cry alone, it's your choice!
2006-12-07 12:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
come on guys, you are letting situations and families pull you apart. take a deep breath, remember what you had and what you were, don't let circumstances change you. get back on target - don't worry about the changes in your life or the families you are living with - just think of the total outcome - that you will get back on track with jobs and income - your fiance is missing being the bread winner, having two jobs and being in control of his life - and now none until his real estate job comes along - don't let all of the negatives pull you down to hurt the relationship. it's only temporary - so make the best of it - come on fiance, stop blaming your woman on moving you away from something that you felt secured with. don't be that stagnated, every change has an outcome, look for the good and not the bad - and you'll find out that this short inconvenience in life can make a good impact on your lives - once you finish your schooling and he gets established in a new career. work with the problem, don't make it a problem and always stand by each other. this is a test and if you make it through this you'll find you have a solid relationship that will go through anything. it's up to you both to make it worthwhile - in the end the reward will be great.
2006-12-07 20:37:26 · answer #2 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You both need to get away from the situation, even if it is just overnight. Take some time for each other, don't talk about anything that is stressful, just remember why you 2 are together. If you don't have the money to go to a Motel for the night, why not take a long drive during the day, explore some different sites,laugh and have fun together. Have you thought about taking out a personal loan to get you into a place of your own? Its always hard at first whenever you move, let alone living with family. Just take a breather and things will work out.
2006-12-07 20:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by rdncgirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He should count himself lucky...My family will not allow someone live with me that I am not married to as long as I am living under their roof. He might also consider that you do not need any more stress in your life, and maybe he can go to work at a temporary employment service until he starts his full time real estate job. it sounds to me like he is somewhat committed to you, since he quit a job and moved with you so you could continue your education. If you are not as committed to him as he is you, you need to tell him so B-4 your relationship goes any farther, and the 2 of you waste more of each others' precious time. If you don't communicate with him and he with you, the 2 of you don't stand a chance. Communicate your feelings to him, and see how he feels about the same things. If ya'll are still having major disagreements then kick him to the curb and go on with your life.
2006-12-07 20:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by missouriaunt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He should be thankful that your family is caring enough to allow the two of you to move back home. He should also appreciate that you are doing the best you can do to survive. He sounds like a "me me me" type of guy. When did it become okay for a man to allow his wife to support the family? He should feel ashamed to make you stressed out while you are working and going to school. Tell him to at least flip burgers for now until his job takes off again and not sit around and complain.
2006-12-07 20:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by 112 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because u moved in with your mum doesnt mean u have to support them they supported themselves before u moved back. Your mother must be so selfish. Just pay board and save the rest so u 2 can get a life of your own
2006-12-07 22:39:46 · answer #6 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋