How do I tell my supervisor that she needs to cool it?

Question

One of my supervisors does something that offends just about everyone working for her, as well as the other supervisors. If it gets busy, she pushes everyone (capable or not) off of the espresso bar and takes over.

Normally, I do not take it personally, sometimes other people do. Last night I was having a really bad day and I nearly blew up at her. I went into the back room and was in tears and the supervisor had no idea. I am not the first person that has reacted this way. I think that she does this as a means of asserting her authority in a negative way.

Instead of blowing up at her (or waiting until someone else does), the more effective way would be to communicate how I feel and indicate that others tend to agree. I could also go to the manager, but she wouldn't respect that and would think of it as tattling.

How do I approach her? This is a bossy, intelligent woman who likes each thing done a certain way.

Answer 1

I wouldn't approach her personally...I would go to the manager, chances are, she has seen similar behavior from this person in the past...if you present it to your boss in an objective manner without personalizing it (even though the woman did make you feel bad.) Your boss will certainly have no choice but to accept that...In a team environment there is no place for pushy people, supervisor or not!

Answer 2

And now you know why she is a supervisor at a coffee shop.

She is a "leader" who believes that everyone but her is incompetent, that the only way to get the job done right is to do it yourself, and she obviously doesn't understand the meaning of delegation.

When it gets busy, she gets stressed. In that stressed state she wrongly believes that she is the only one that does it as fast as she does. It is only because the adrenaline is pumping and she is looking through the world through adrenaline glasses.

The next time you get so upset, wait until thing calm down and talk to her. Tell her that you understand that she doesn't mean to be rude, but when she pushes others off the bar, it feels rude and demeaning.

Maybe she will get the hint, but I really doubt it. With any luck she will at least be cognizant that she is stepping on toes.

Good luck and remember, if it gets to bad you can always transfer or find another job.

Answer 3

She seems to be a dominant person who is pushing herself.
Next time, and you need to get everyone on board, is when she comes around, everyone back up and give her clearance to get to the machine. If she is the personality I am thinking of she will see it right away and see herself in a different picture. Next time she will be visiting the machine herself.
It is a situation she puts herself into to show her authority.
I had that type of an issue with a former employee who bossed everyone. They stepped out of their way to avoid situations such as yours. It worked.
Writing a letter or note may help at first, however she is your supervisor and she will not take it seriously.

Answer 4

If you mean she is physically pushing you, you should ask her to stop. If she continues, file a grievance with the HR department of the company you work for. Usually this will end that type of behavior.

On the other hand if you mean she asks you to leave the espresso bar so she can run it, let her. After all she will be the one dealing with customers and doing all the work. I would sit back and enjoy the break.

Answer 5

As I think you are very articulate, I think the best way to approach her is in letter/email form. Specifically start and focus on your incident with her. Explain what happened and how she made you feel with her actions. Don't mention any names, but tell her that in the past you've witnessed her do the same thing to other people, but that until now you didn't realized how disrespectful and negative it is when she takes over. You are all adults capable of civilized behavior, yet she act as if you are not and in a way is insulting all of you. You can also go on to tell her, make a suggestion that maybe she should suggest to put one person in charge of the bar at all times, or something similar to that....
Good luck with that...I hope she listens to you...If not, then you need to go over her head....Let us know what happens.....

Answer 6

Ok, first, you are 'her' subordinate. You are expected to do as she asks. "You" are not in charge. You have no reason to tell her anything. Second, if she is asserting her authority, either in a negative OR positive way, it's still "her" authority. Not yours. Work a while on a job, learn to do it well, and become a supervisor yourself. I bet it looks and feels a whole lot different from that point of view!

Answer 7

My guess is that this is her way of trying to pitch in and help during a stressful time, not knowing that it makes the employees feel that she's making a statement about their inability to do the job. I'd say, during a non-stressed time, ask her if you can meet with her privately, and share your feelings in a calm, professional way. It could be as easy as, "I noticed yesterday when things were getting busy that... I felt that ... "

Answer 8

Are you sure that she doesn't think she is helping? Sometimes, we have to learn to work with difficult personalities. It's not about her...she is who she is. A wise employee would learn how to function and maintain composure despite her or "work her" by saying, "I noticed you jump on the expresso bar when it get's busy. Is there a method you would like me to use to process orders more quickly? I would be happy to learn so you don't have to do it all the time?"

Answer 9

My suggestion is to jhust find another job! I have been in these situations (and am in one now) I have tried to ask the management for help and I find that they only protect their own. They don't give a crap about the peeon's! If you are reduced to tears at your job, you need a new one!

Answer 10

When you are all in a break or before starting to work tell her that you have to talk to her and explain about your complain. Remember that if she doesn't know, then there is nothing wrong. Give her the chance to recapitulate and she will be grateful,, you will see.. Good luck!!