My dad's the bomb - literally.....=|?

Question

If my dad isn't throwing fists, he's throwing hurtful words.

I've tried talking to him about it, but It never works.

What can I do.

***(serious question, serious answers)

Answer 1

How old are you? If you are a child, you should seriously consider reporting this abuse. Is your mother present? If she is, you should start by talking to her. If she is also a subject of this abuse, she may be afraid to act but maybe your speaking with her would help her take a step in the right direction. If your dad is reasonable when she talks to him, she needs to be the one to address this with him. And if he is not reasonable, she needs to take the steps necessary to make this stop. If she thinks it's safe, she could tell him that he will have to get family counseling to learn to deal better with the family, and if he refuses, she should tell him she would like him to leave and that she will divorce him if he doesn't start changing the abuse. If he isn't reasonable, she needs to start taking steps to leave. The first thing she should do is call an abuse shelter or hotline and get advice from them about the best way to get the two of you (and any siblings you have) out of the situation. I would say that off the top of my head, she should try to gradually accumulate an emergency stash of clothing, money and other important things for you and hiding them with a friend or family member until her plans are in place to leave.
If things are not so bad that you have to leave the situation, perhaps your father doesn't believe how bad his actions are making life for you. I would suggest getting a video camera and showing him how he acts. With the holidays coming up, you have the perfect way to do this. It would be best to set it up while he's away; find a somewhat hidden spot and train the camera on an area where the family will be a lot. Just let it record the family at dinner or interacting together as time passes. The longer you can record, the better, and if you can do it without everyone knowing, they're more likely to act naturally. Then, later, pull the tape out and tell everyone you recorded some holiday memories for everyone to enjoy. Don't bother pointing out how he acts, just let him watch it and see for himself. If he has sense, he'll be mortified at his actions and it might just be enough to make him want to change. (Just a note here, and I don't know you...but maybe you should take a look at your own natural behavior too? I don't know about you, but I can sometimes do things to irk my dad...not QUITE on purpose...but...)
You could threaten to call social services
You could ask him to sit down and tell you why he acts the way he does. Ask him if that's how his parents behaved and how it made him feel.
You could ask a trusted adult to talk to him.
You could just go to someone at your school, teacher, counselor, etc and tell them you're being abused. They are required to act on it...so are doctors.
If you're old enough, you could go to live with another relative for a short while to see if it helps
If you are an adult and not living at home any more, there are other ways of dealing. My dad was a bit of a bully (and still can be) but probably not as bad as yours sounds. I moved out when I was 20 and finally found the courage to stand up to him shortly after that. Once I put my foot down and told him I didn't allow people to treat me that way, we have gotten along much better. Things aren't all perfect, but now I can go home to my house or he can go home to his and we can both get a little space until we're ready to be nice again.
One more suggestion, whatever your age: You said your dad won't listen when you try to talk to him. How about a letter? Take some time to think about the best approach, maybe even do research online about the best way to talk to someone like him and then write him a letter to ask him to try to change. If it was me, I'd probaby start off by saying something like
Hi dad,
I don't know what to do, I need your help. Someone is hurting me. This is what has happened:
then tell him a story about the way he's been treating you and ask him for advice on how to make it stop because you are being hurt emotionally and physically and you can't live that way any longer so if you can't make the abuse stop on your own and he can't help you, you will have to get help from someone who can. This way, you play on his guilt but don't actually accuse him of anything.
Good luck to you, I hope it all works out!

Answer 2

Are you the only one talking to him about this??? If you are than he may not take it seriously. He needs to hear from other people that he trusts and confides in. He needs to know how it is affecting everyone and how people are not going to want to be around him if he continues.

Answer 3

Talk to your minister, priest or other religious leader. Where is your mother? Your dad sounds very unhappy and is taking it out on you.
He needs help, NOW!!!!!!