My father can be a HUGE jerk with me at times… how should I respond? I live 2000 miles from home... and for a good reason. I’ve been living this far for a year and a half and so am not used to being treated like crap by others. I spoke with my father earlier today… and during the conversation… he got angry cause I accidentally cut him off and practically screamed at me “Would you please let me finish!?” I was so taken back by it because I’m not used to people talking to me that way, that I didn’t know whether or not to tell him to F-off and hang up on him or whether to ignore it. So I ignored it but in the mist of trying to control my anger with his behavior I became so frustrated that I began to cry. I don’t think he knew how upset I was… Thank God. I am going home to visit for x-mas. How should I respond to any of his future outbursts?
2006-12-07 10:32:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i have to deal with an unpleasent person all the time over at my house. i just say hi and ignore them the rest of the time they are here. after all, it is just the holidays. just try to keep yourself busy and try not to let things upset you. if you do not respond to rude comments they will get the point that you are upset.
2006-12-07 10:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by Jaime 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel your pain. I have relatives like this. Your father hasn't realized that you aren't a little kid anymore and that you can carry a descent conversation with him. Tell him how you feel. He can either respect your feeling or you stop coming around or speaking to him as much. I went through the same thing this past Thanksgiving with my mother. Hell, she hung up on me 3 times within 10 minutes. I told myself I wasn't going to call her back or go home to visit. Parents have to realize that we are not little kids anymore and that we DO have feelings and we can voice our opinion. To answer the question about response to future outburst; yes respond but don't disrespect him. I hope this helps.
2006-12-07 10:46:39 · answer #2 · answered by pink 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him straight that his behavior towards you is angry and offensive. Tell him that you are an adult now and do not appreciate being talked down to. If he cannot accept that, then move on. You cannot let him get the better of you. I told my mother not to be rude to me and it worked. I told her how she makes me feel and she understood. Granted she is still rude, but I call her on it and throw a comment back at her. Tit for tat. Please don't let your father ruin your holidays. Take him aside and let him know what's going on. Good luck and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-07 10:51:30 · answer #3 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you are married or have kids i wouldn't go. i wouldn't subject anyone else to something that makes me feel bad or uncomfortable.
it sounds like this is an ongoing issue? that's why you live so far? if i'm correct, why would you go spend your holiday with someone who makes you miserable? if it's because of other family members that you'll get to see, then make sure you don't have to "stay" with your dad. talk to anmother family member ahead of time, i'm sure you aren't the only one that's affected, you'll either need your own transportation or a family member there that will serve as a get away car.
you don't have to put up with being mistreated and you should'nt have to miss out on time with family members you love.
2006-12-07 10:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by mama dee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you cut him off and didn't let him finish, then maybe you shouldn't interrupt. BUT, if he is rude to you, make sure to have back up arrangements for a friends house or hotel should the need for it arise. I hate fighting with family and it's even worse during the holidays. Maybe you need to have a heart to heart with dad. Good Luck.
2006-12-07 10:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont let something like this bother you . Just hold your tounge and hold your head up to show you are bigger than this . Dont cry There are people out there that are not happy unless everyone around is unhappy .Its Christmas be happy dont let nothing screw up your Christmas Joy ,Cheer , Merry Christmas Good Luck
2006-12-07 10:43:30 · answer #6 · answered by janice a 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop, then look at him in dead silence, absolutely APPALLED that anyone with an IQ higher than room temperature and social skills a tiny bit more developed than sharks in a feeding frenzy would ever say anything so rude, crass, boorish and mean.
Wait for a minute or so, then try to change the subject desperately - you love him (wink wink) and don't want him to embarass himself again.
"Gosh dad, tell me about your golf game . . ."
2006-12-07 10:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anne Jovie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he has any outbursts tell him now he knows why you live 2,000 miles away with no intentions of moving closer to him and you can walk out that door just as easily as you walked through it.
2006-12-07 11:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best is to ignore the outbursts as you have been. You should probably get laid too to help reduce the stress.
2006-12-07 10:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
short of killing him or not visiting its hard!
try and bite your tongue and remind yourself of the many good things he probably has done for you - so smile be polite dont rise to the bait and say something nice like yes dad you are right - and stay for as short a time as possible! have a good excuse for a short stay!
2006-12-07 10:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋