Is it cheating?

Question

I was seeing a guy for just under a month. We had decided not to see other people but were not yet at the boyfriend girlfriend stage. We had never even gone on a date, we just stayed in. Last weekend i got drunk to the point where i blacked out. One of his "friends" ended up driving me home, and we slept together. I didnt really know what was going on until after it was done. I told my man what had happened withing 24hrs but unfortunately one of his buddies told him first. I feel horrible, i have applogised and asked for forgiveness. He says he forgives me but is not sure yet if he can give me another chance. He's hot and cold right now. We have talked everyday since, one day he'll act nice like we might get back together and the next day he'll be totally cold. I have never done anything like this before, and i dont know what to do at this point, i want to be with him so bad!!! Help!!

Answer 1

You have apologized. That is all you can do. You have to let him make the decision. If it was the other way around, you would probably feel the same. Me, I would not take the other person back. I think people know when it is time to stop drinking.

Anyway, give him time, don't pressure him. You can continue to talk to him. You have already apologized. If he wants to talk about it and tell you his feelings, let him, even if it is the bad feelings. There is nothing else you can really do, except pray for forgiveness, pray that he forgives you, and pray he can be your friend again, and hopefully more.

Answer 2

Lucky them1 Look, theres billions of humans out there! Who cares if u cheated, u where in that kind of stage long before (Tipsy). I mean his friend did take advantage of u, u where drunk. I would say stay the same, I mean most of the population in America is like this.

Example!
We date, We slept together before we were married, So why do people make a big Fuss about weddings, and then the Priest allows u to kiss the bride, i think u did more then Kiss the bride last night bro.

Answer 3

You messed up. You have got to let it go and move on. He has been friends with this guy before you and he will be friends with this guy after you. Would you keep a guy around if he slept with your friend?
The friend probably did it because he didn't like you and wanted your man to see you weren't worth the time and trouble. He will never be able to be too serious about you if he does decide to see you now because his friends will always haggle him about his slutty girl.

Move one and find another man, the reason you want him so bad now is cause you can't have him.

Answer 4

Sounds more like his friend took advantage of you, that's borderline rape. He should have known better than have a another GUY drive you home drunk - common sense would have said have a female take you home.

I think you will have a hard time getting his trust back if you lost it so early on.

There's other fish in the sea. Leave the ball in his court, and if he doesn't pick it up, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

Answer 5

I feel for your situation and pain. I want to be straight forward with you and keep in mind this is for your own good. I have to say that you must be responsible for your actions even if you were under the influence of alcohol. You chose to drink and become intoxicated. You are there for the one to blame for all of this disarray. But I honestly feel that you are sorry for what happened. I am not one to judge as I have made many mistakes that hurt those that I love. Just realize that it takes time to heal the hurt that you have caused him. And you must earn back his trust again. That takes time too! I would start by showing him that you are not going to drink and if you do it will be with him. Do not put yourself in a situation that could lead to infidelity. It is not appropriate to hang out with a lot of guys drinking alcohol. Respect yourself and respect him by not doing this. Once again, I am not judging you I am just speaking from experience. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

Everyone is allowed to make mistakes. From the sound of it he is just trying o get the upper hand in the relationship. If that is the case you are better off without him. Once he thinks he has you cowed and willing to do anything for forgiveness he will treat you like **** and make you feel like you deserve it. Which you don't you are human and this **** happens. If he dosent' get that then to hell with him. Date his friend.

Answer 7

Is not cheating but it is obvious he was looking for something serious and was just waiting for the right time to make it official. It looks to me that you have ruined the chance for a good relationship with this guy, once the trust is gone, every else doesnt really matter.

Answer 8

Yeah sorry sweetie ! It's still cheating drunk or no ! However he either is going to deal with it or ship out ! Because if you still have hot and cold then he hasn't forgiven you ! Then there is a major trust issue and both of you will be miserable.

Answer 9

who put you in the car with the "friend?"

"I didnt really know what was going on until after it was done." Did you consent to it? If so, then maybe you aren't ready for a monogamous relationship - or booze - or a combination thereof. If not, that seems like a more serious situation to me.

Answer 10

I would say yes it is cheating. If you had decided not to see other people then yes you cheaeted on him and by decideing to be exclusive (not seeing other people) pretty much means you were at the boyfriend girlfriend stage. this is a classic example of why alcohol is bad....