I am scared?

Question

I am afraid that there is no such thing as love. I think these emotions come from my dad who has cheated on 3 wives includeing my mom and his third right now is torureing herself and staying because she dosen't want to leave me and my brother, she is obsessed and compleetly depressed because of what she is going through and I did a search and found two of my dads my space accounts and it talks about how he dosen't want any of us includeing my brother and me and he has threatned to hit me in order to show off to his friends before and I have herd him speak about how he was going to slip my step-mom some anti-freeze(he didn't know I herd this) he dosen't know that I know any of this but I have proof that all of this has happend although I'm not going to go throught the details now, but now I compleetly don't trust guys

how can I fix my family?

how can I learn to trust guys agaim?

should I learn to trust guys again?

how do I know anyone especially men can ever truly love?

P.S. sorry my question is so long

Answer 1

Trust has to be earned. You should probably take a break and focus on something else in your life. I'm sorry, but I don't think you alone can fix your family. It should not be your job to fix it. If you have proof that your dad intends to hurt someone you should tell the authorities before it is too late.

Answer 2

Love exists in many forms - familial, platonic, altruistic, physical, romantic. It sounds like you are wondering if romantic love exists and that answer is still yes.

You probably can't fix your family. That is for the adults to address. If they will not address it and fix the problems, then be secure nothing going on between them is your fault.

I doubt it will be easy for you to trust considering the baggage your father has dumped in your life. When you are old enough that it is your decision and no one can interfere with your decision, get some counseling. A trained professional can help you work through your fears so that when the right person comes along (a man worthy of your trust) you will be able to trust him.

My grandparents were happily married for 50 years. My in-laws were happily married for over 50 years. My husband and I have been married for 31 years. Each of the three of these examples has a 'man' as part of the equation so men are capable of true love the same as women.

You need someone you can talk to about your feelings. Someone you respect and trust who will not betray your trust. You will have to be patient but when you are 18, you won't have to put up with the environment you are currently in any longer. In fact, if your father - or anyone else for that matter - is abusive (physically or emotionally) there are childrens advocates who can help you find other living arrangements or at the very least address your concerns. There may even be a support group in your area consisting of other people your age who are going through the same or similar problems. It could help to join such a group if one exists because it is reassuring to find we are not alone in such situations.

It is hard to determine from your question whether you are in any actual 'danger' in your circumstance. If you fear you are, then do not hesitate to contact a person or agency who can help you.

Answer 3

If all of what you say is true, and I have no reason to doubt you, I would do the following:
1) Tell your step mom what you have said here.
2) You, your brother and your step mom file a report with the police (your dad committed a crime when he threatened to hurt you and your brother).
3) After talking to your step mom if she does not agree, IMMEDIATELY file a report along with your brother (you may at this point also request protection).
4) In the event your step mom disagreed with you or if she agrees and doesn't know what to do contact a relative for a safe place to go.
Now let me answer your questions. 1)You can try to fix your family by doing SOMETHING. 2) You can. 3) Yes. 4) Take it from me (a man), there are millions of men who love and care very much about you and your brother. I wish you the best-L

Answer 4

you are witnessing a dysfunctional relationship, which people find themselves in more than once in their life. this isn't love. just b/c the adults and other parental figures in your life have not been able to maintain a healthy, loving relationship doesn't mean you won't be able to find something special one day. its all about how you handle yourself in any given relationship. this may even come as a learning experience and you will realize (sooner than later) what behaviors you are willing to put up with. sounds like the volatile person in this relationship is your dad who has made such disrespectful comments about your mom. tell an adult you trust, if only to be able to talk to someone about it. can you approach your dad and say you heard the comments he made and it was hurtful to you? do you think he would be understanding. if not, you should try to help your mother in this situation and explain to her that you prefer her happiness over her being miserable in a marriage just "for the kids". these adults probably don't realize how much they are affecting you and you should speak up if you can.

Answer 5

OMG! you need to go the police. there is no way that you should still be living there. your father needs to go to jail for all of that!

i'm not sure how you can fix your family. maybe you could spend so time with each other on the weekends and talk about what's bothering you.

as for how to trust guys again... i don't know. maybe at school you can slowly begin to talk to guys. not all are bad it's just some of them.

you should learn to trust guys again. in the future there will most likely be men at you job and you have to learn to trust them and interact with them.

everyone can love! just because some men don't show it doesn't mean that they can't love, it's just buried under some sort of bad memory or child experiance. men can love and once you see that will find that it is one of the best feelings in the world. just give men a chance.

PS just because your dad is a wacko (sorry if that offends you) doesn't mean that all men are (just your dad). don't worry. love is real it's just that some people have to work harder to find it. i'm sure that you'll find it.

Answer 6

Become a nun. If you become a nun, you'll fix your family through prayer and self-sacrifice, you'll never have to trust guys again or even see a guy again thus you will gain Heaven and at the same time avoid trouble. If you cannot bear the thought of a lifetime without guys in your life, I wonder why? Why won't you give up guys for life if you find them soooo disgusting? Or maybe you can get castrated. Castration would also save you all the troubles of love. Unless you think any kind of hell is worth living for the sake of love. But no. Maybe you don't think so after having been to hell and back. You should know.

Answer 7

There really is no way to fix a family background, Religion, Education, all play a role and no one can fix them...

To trust guys again... don't start right away with some one you know because they may take advantage of you go with some one you don't know... and just and I mean just talk with them.

I don't know how you would learn to trust guys again but go to your local cafè.

Jesus truly loved He Died on the cross to forgive us sinners.

Answer 8

You are not off to a good start. If you are already doubting trust and love.
My EX had this same type of problem, that is why she is now my EX. I never did anything but love her and try to make her happy, but the fear that I was going to be just like her dad drove a huge split between us until I just couldn't';t take it anymore.
My advise to you would be to get into some type of counsling and try to learn and accept that this is something that you father did, but not every man will. Other wise you are in for a life of misstrust and heartache.

Answer 9

w0w first off your father sounds like a really fd up guy that has no respect for women at all in terms of being scared you shouldnt be what you should do is open your mouth and tell him off! who does he think he is threatening you and your stepmom thats just wrong. If you want to fix your family you have to tell him off and dont be scared if he tries anything call the police and file a restraining order/order of protection this way he wont be able to hurt you. I feel really bad for your stepmom she needs to step up being the adult and all and do something to help you guys instead of just staying with him in fear of your safety i mean what good is that? When you i read this it reminded me of my father who was a piece of $hit as well he got my mom pregnant with me and right before they were going to marry my mom found out he got this other lady pregnant as well since then we moved here and my mom has never been the same she has been mentally ill since and cannot function without all types of meds so believe me girl your not alone but you have to be strong dont let him intimidate you you can and will get thru this believe me! trusting guys is off course going to be an issue for i have that problem as well growing up that was the root of the reason it was difficult to trust the men i allowed in my life and still although not as much do not trust them. ive been with my bf for almost 3 yrs and it has been an issue every now and then even though he never really gave reason but still he is a man and i trust him to an extent and its really sad because it really is not right to basically take it out on them when it was our father who gave us reason not to trust so after time i learned to except that my bf did not do anything to deserve these accusations and such and you def should trust guys again but ONLY those that deserve it even though it is hard to tell in the beginning who can and cannot be trusted you just have to use your womens intuition on this and plain old common sense my bf has a hard time showing his feelings and being all romantic and sweet like some men but i know in my heart that he does love me on top of him saying it everyday so yeh men can definatly love you just have to find the one and that takes time. good luck babe xoxo

Answer 10

Yes there is a thing called love.
Your dad sounds like a real jerk and not all men are like that. You will probably have some trust issues when you find someone to be with, but you will need to work that out with him and tell him the truth.
As far as fixing your family...you can't do that alone. They all have to want to "be fixed" and you'll need to do it with a counselor's help.

If you feel physically threatened at home, you need to speak to a teacher or someone you trust to help you.