My husband & I are trying to decide if we should have another baby. Our son is 2 1/2 & I would like to start trying soon so they aren't too far apart. I am hesitant for many different reasons...the main one being I don't want my son to feel unloved or that he isn't as special anymore...I'm afraid of loving another one as much as I love him. I'm afraid of not being able to share my love.....please help!
2006-12-07 08:27:28 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Make your son part of the experience and let him "help" when the new baby comes. When you hold the baby, make sure he is welcome to come sit with you. In otherwords, make sure he is involved, that way he won't feel unloved. And I wouldn't worry about sharing your love, love is meant to give away, we all have lots and lots, especially for our kids!
2006-12-07 08:31:40 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have two sons. i was afraid at first too. but my older son just loves his little brother. they play together all day and rarely ever fight. they are 3 1/2 and 2 years old. Just include him on the whole thing. let him feel and kiss your tummy let him come and see the baby at the hospital. and allow him to help you bring you diapers and towels at bath time. help put lotion on the baby. things like that. make a big deal on how special it is to be a big brother. Also you will love the new one just as much as you do the first. Its strange how that works when you had the first one you think you could never love anything else the way you love him. and then you have the second one and you know you can. its the love a mother has for a child. the number of children does not matter the love is still the same. good luck.
2006-12-07 08:35:04 · answer #2 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has the same fears that you are experiencing when trying to decide to go from one child to two. The thing is, there is always enough love to go around. You will love your son just as much as you ever have, and you will love the new baby equally. The heart has an incredible capacity for loving. Imagine moms with 5, 6, 7, 10 kids...don't you believe that they love them all very much?
The jealousy factor can be dealt with. Make sure that you talk to and include your son as much as possible, let him know that you won't love him less, and that he'll be a big brother who can teach his new brother or sister "big boy" things. Get the book "I'm a Big Brother" - it is great at helping kids to understand the change that will take place. Also, make sure not to schedule any other big changes during the time that the baby is due. Don't change his sleeping arrangements, daycare, school, etc....he'll need consistency to feel secure in his world.
Having two or more children can be wonderful. Usually all the worry is for nothing - I know it was in my case. Good luck in whatever you decide!
2006-12-07 08:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by fbjewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your fears are the same as many other mothers. I had a unique experience with my first pregnancy in that I had twins. When they were born I loved them both equally even though I was also worried that I wouldn't have enough love to go around. My husband wants a third baby and although I'm happy with the two we've got I would be open to another one (or twins again if that should happen). You might ask your son if he wants a little brother or sister to play with and see what he says. He might surprise you with a yes! He would be the big brother and have a very special roll to play once the baby is born. Good luck with your decision.
2006-12-07 08:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by babybunny729 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son need not feel unloved, and you will have no problem sharing your love! It is nice to have two closer together if you can. If you are worried about your first feeling left out just make sure he is involved in everything right from the start. Once you are pregnant and tell him about it, let him touch your belly and talk to his little brother or sisiter. Talk about how the baby is growing inside you and how he is going to make such a great big brother and be such a big help. Once bub is born let him be a part of bath time and nappy changing etc. Let him touch and hold the baby (close supervision ofcourse). Most of all remember to make time just for him, thank him when he is helpful,praise him and cuddle him and tell him you love him all the time. Your husband can also play a part in making sure your first still feels important by taking him out to do Boys things/big kid things like go for a bike ride or tinker in the garage. There is no need to be afraid. I am sure you will be a brilliant mum and liove all your children equally.
2006-12-07 08:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 3 kids I have decided that the first 2 are good close together. they have each other to play with etc for the first few years. Now at 10 and 13 they are mortal enemies but I anticipate that will change and they will be close again when they get older. I also have an almost 2 year old and I like the age difference between all of them. And the older boys just dote on the baby.\
As far as love goes your heart just expands with each one.....
2006-12-07 08:34:18 · answer #6 · answered by his temptress 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my two kids about three and half years apart. The two of them are best friends. I know that you will feel like you are excluding your son but I noticed that if you would include him in on everything he will not feel left out. Also if you tell him that he is that he is now twice as important because he now has someone that looks up to him.
Also I feel that every mother feels that she will not love the second baby as much as the first but it is not true. Every baby has their own way of expressing themselves. You know every child makes you fall in love with them for different reasons. My son is very laid back and I love that about him. My daughter always has to entertained at all times and I love that to. Also with them being so different they play well with each other. I would think twice about another kid. Good Luck with your decision.
2006-12-07 08:49:50 · answer #7 · answered by odd622 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 2 months pregnant and i have a daughter that is 2. I was fulfilled being a mom with just her. I had no desire to have another child. But i felt it would be good for her to have a sibling. As far as loving one more then the other i think all parents think they wont be able to love the next one as much as the first. But as soon as its born you fall in love with it.
2006-12-07 09:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone who said the exact same thing. When she saw that new little baby, all her fears went away. It's hard to imagine, but it's really unavoidable.
And your son won't think of it as taking love away, but as another person to love and be loved by. There will be times of jealousy, but then you just put in a little extra time with the one while not ignoring the other.
Millions of people have worked this out. It'll be okay.
2006-12-07 08:46:32 · answer #9 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down. If you want another child have another child. Explain to him that mommy is having another baby, and he will be a big brother. While your pregnant let him talk to the baby and let him touch your belly. When the baby is born let him hold the bottle so he feels like he's helping also have alone time with just him so he's doesn't feel left out at all.
2006-12-07 08:39:09 · answer #10 · answered by vanessac2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋