I have not yet been to college. And i am not a mom yet.
My husband works full-time and brings most of the money into the household. Me, i work occasionally at a daycare center as a substitute.
Before we got married we talked about me going to college before we start trying to get pregnant.
No i don't know what to do anymore. My dream job has always been towards medical; nurse (3-4 years of college) or medical asisstant (1-2 years of college).
We really want to have kids and that means me being a stay at home mom at first and later on maybe work part time while our kids go to day care/first grade/school.
But in case anyhting might happen with us (which i hope never will), he said, at least i'll have a job that i've learned at college and can be financially on my own.
No i don't know what to do.
Go to college and wait 2-4 years to start a family or don't go to college and try starting a family now.
I need some advice.
2006-12-07 08:25:26 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Why not have the best of both worlds?! Granted it will be tough, but if I can do it then you can. I have a 14 month old.. and I am in my second trimester with my second child and I am a full time student. I do not work... but school gives me a break from my son.. So I can be a mother and get out and socialize with other people while getting an education!
2006-12-07 08:32:15 · answer #1 · answered by vickie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of moms are putting off having kids and then when the time comes that they want kids they are not as fertile anymore and have a heck of a time conceiving (if they even can). Have your kids now. Being a mom is the best thing you can do. I'm all for being a stay-at-home mom. There is plenty of time for career when your kids are grown up. If you go to school now and then have kids and then try to get a job later when they're older your schooling is "old" and then they won't hire you. Go to school right before you're going to start working.
There is a great way to make sure you can be provided for if anything happens to your husband -it's called life insurance. That's what we have and we have enough that my kids and I could live off the interest it would make if I invested the money.
2006-12-07 08:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by AerynneC 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should go to school and try to make sure that things are set up financially for your child. I also feel that your husband is right. You do need something to fall back on in case he lost his job or something. You don't have to run out and get a job as soon as you finish,but at least the knowledge is there. I have 3 kids (5,5 and 1) and a husband and I am going to school.You said that working in medicine is your dream, so don't put it off. Maybe if you accomplish your dream when you do start your family you will be a happier mommy.
2006-12-07 08:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by luvlebrowneyez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to college 1st. My husband and I had a little surprise while both of us were in college and I dropped out promising to go back as soon as the baby was in daycare. My hubby finished school but who knew having a baby and daycare was so expensive I waited 2yrs almost 3yrs (we had another little surprise a year after the 1st one was born)... I'm studying nursing too. Needless to say Daycare was so expensive like a house note for 1 child... I had to work and go to school. My sons are 4 and 5yrs now (about to be 5 & 6yrs) everytime I leave for school at night they play whine "awee mommy don't go to school tonight" or they will sometimes stay awake in bed till I come home to give a goodnight kiss. I would change my situation for anything in the world but if I had the choice like you do... your life would be so much easier to get your education out of the way. And if you have a little accident only have positive thoughts and remember school is attainable with kids and a fulltime job... I do it.
2006-12-07 08:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi!! I was in the same situation as you a few months ago. Now I'm a stay @ home mother & I love everyday of it!! I'm also taking college courses online (fulltime). I also work PT on the weekends (to get away)!! It's not easy and your schedule is always full, but its great!!! The most challenging things are cleaning especially when you want to just play and sleeping. I don't remember what that word means anymore. Whatever choices you make I wish you the best!!!
2006-12-07 08:39:13 · answer #5 · answered by Don't play w/ me 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going to college right now and am a full time mom. My husband works on the road all week. I am going to school to be a medical assistant for 9 months, you might want to check on programs in your area that is not 1-2 year program. Then while you are going to school you can try to have a baby. Good Luck.
2006-12-07 08:55:01 · answer #6 · answered by odd622 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to school and follow your dream. You will never regret it, and you still have time to have children. Your husband supports this idea because:
1. He loves you
2. He knows that no matter what, you need to be prepared for the world at large, and he will feel better knowing that you can take care of yourself if you need to---this will give you confidence and make you a more interesting person with her own identity beyond wife and mom
Don't sell yourself short and have regrets 20 years from now. Get the education and pass on its value to your sons and daughters.
2006-12-07 08:40:09 · answer #7 · answered by Darlene G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
College first. All the women I know who went to college after having kids had a hard time with school because they had been out of school for too long.
If you do stay together, you will be able to help out financially, and it will not be tragic if he loses his job.
Also, you can always work part-time when the kids start school. If you do not need the money, you can save it and put it in a college fund for your kids.
2006-12-07 08:46:47 · answer #8 · answered by jimbell 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love my daughter very much, and wouldn't trade her for anything. I wish I would have went to college first though. I have never been to college either. I got married and 4 months later I got pregnant. I have tried to go to school, but you have to have daycare for your children, they don't offer everything on-line even though I think they should. Then there's the expenses, you could apply for grants and loans, but they don't cover everything. And then there's the guilt, even though you know your bettering yourself and your family, you feel guilty every time you leave your child in the hands of a stranger. Have you even considered having to study with a baby. OMG, it would never get done. I could go on and on, please consider this, you would be thinking of your future baby by going to college now rather than doing it when he or she is here needing you.
2006-12-07 08:40:18 · answer #9 · answered by Ash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to college first. I know several women who became moms right after high school. Then they got divorced and had no job skills to support their kids, and it was really hard for them and the kids. One was even homeless and living out of her car for a while. Going to college and working professionally for a little bit will give you experience and something to fall back on, just in case. You can also save your earnings for a college fund for your future children or to pay for baby stuff when the time comes.
2006-12-07 08:36:17 · answer #10 · answered by Rose D 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋