I'm currently in college and my girlfriend and I have been dating a little over a year. Yesterday on the networking websites (facebook.com) I read one of her messages and which said something like, "You look like an actor I know. You are definetly a cutie." The next message said something like, "You are totally a hottie, I want to get to know you better."
This morning I told her I found out and wanted to break-up and she broke into tears begging me not to. I wanted to break-up, but I couldn't stand seeing her crying while begging me, so I made a deal that I can either have her passwords or I can whenever I want hook up with any girl I want. With that settled, I don't feel good either way because I am not the cheating type of person no matter what and I don't want to have to feel like I have to monitor all her incoming e-mails and messages.
What should I do?
2006-12-07 08:22:56 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
NEW******
If I do break up, how should I because when I tried this morning, she was just clinged on to me, should I shove her out the door? I'm a nice guy, so its hard for me to use any kind of force.
2006-12-07 08:32:46 · update #1
NEW AGAIN******
Space is what I intially planned, however next week my parents, myself, and my GF are going on a cruise. It's non-refundable, so I don't want my parents to feel like they wasted $1000.
2006-12-07 08:34:23 · update #2
NEW AGAIN******
Space is what I intially planned, however next week my parents, myself, and my GF are going on a cruise. It's non-refundable, so I don't want my parents to feel like they wasted $1000.
2006-12-07 08:34:24 · update #3
i think you should break up with her. If your girlfriend is at the point where she is talking to other people online and flirting with them...that's not a good sign. Also the fact that the two of you settled it by saying that you could hook up with any girl you want shows that she obviously doesnt care much about the relationship and that she doesn't care about sharing you with other girls. She was probably crying because she's afraid to be alone. I suggest you break up with her because from the looks of things, the situation won't be getting better. so in my opinion, you should break up with her so that you can move on and find someone who deserves your attention.
2006-12-07 08:28:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you have to ask yourself.. Do you trust her? if you do then you shouldnt worry about her thinkin some other guy is cute or hot! there is a very good chance that you think other girls are cute or hot aswell. we are all human it is our nature to still look if you see something you like even if you do have a girlfriend/boyfriend. if you feel like you need all her passwords to monitor her this is not a relationship that you should be in. you have to know that everyone DOES need there own personal space asking her to open everything up to you in that area is not good. also... when it really comes down to you asking if you should break up with her or not is totally and competly up to you. nobody should make that decision for you if you love her keep her and work things out. if you dont think that you can trust her you shoudnt be together. so basically it all comes doen to the trust thing.. if theres no TRUST theres no real relationship!! Good Luck!
2006-12-07 08:32:22 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia S 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should speak with your girlfriend and ask her why is she searching outside her relationship with you. Could it be that she is not ready for a committed long term relationship? Ending your relationship sounds like a good idea. Her sneaking around and you wanting to monitor her emails and messages is not good. If she cries because you want to breakup, she cries. It's not the end of the world, just the end of a relationship. She'll survive. You both will.
2006-12-07 09:41:50 · answer #3 · answered by carmelapple2001us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, she may just want friends to talk to. if you have been with her that long then you shouldn't worry about it. she won't do anything. did she give you the things you asked? well if she did then you should know that she doesn't want anyone but you. females are creatures of habit, when they stay with someone that long they will not want anyone else. it may not be true all the time but usually with every girl they want to be with someone who they feel comfortable with. she doesn't want to lose you and she's proven that, what more do you need? her tears were sincere, and the fact that she did the things you asked of her, the passwords and whatnot should give you a sense of closure not paranoia. so chill and let her know that next timeit's for real. she won't do it again. i'm a chick and i know how we work.
2006-12-07 08:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by demonswt88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Figure out what you want first.
Do you want an exclusive relationship? Multiple relationships? **** buddies? Etc.
There is nothing wrong with dating or having sex with more than one woman at a time. Just be upfront about it all. KNOW what you are want, and go after it.
If you eventually want to have an awesome exclusive relationship with a great girl, then why not date many girls until a good relationship develops between one of them?
If you feel like your GF isn't exclusive relationship material, than tell her you want to have an open relationship and see what happens. Just be totally cool with it! See what happens.
If you know what you want, and she doesn't go there with you, then you've effectively screened out someone who isn't a match for you....
2006-12-07 08:38:13 · answer #5 · answered by Jokerz6969 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask for some space for awhile and ask her to think about what she wants you or the other person she was talking to.
Then if things work which I hope it does, in your favor. then just
But if it don't then there is bound to be someone out there that is ment to be with you.
2006-12-07 08:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by Manie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tuff one first of all just chatting is not cheating .. but it could lead to that.. yes.. it could be that she just like to flirt over the internet with out the other person there.. mainly because if they were there with you then they could pressure more from you than just a flirt..i like to chat with people from other states ,, but it bothers my bf so that is the main reason i am here instead of a chat room it has nothing to do with cheating but more of a way of talking to men in a way of flirting without having to becareful because they are states away and i will never meet them
2006-12-07 08:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Break up with her to me she sounds like the type of person who always needs to be in a relationship. That is why she is clinging to you.
2006-12-07 08:28:09 · answer #8 · answered by hiruka654 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its one thing to talk about that sort of stuff that is just the same as thinking those thoughts it doesnt mean it will go any further but u shouldnt jeopardise who u r ask her wat she meant by the message
2006-12-07 08:42:20 · answer #9 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really don't like her than break up with her man. good luck
2006-12-07 08:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by Calvin K. 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋