At age 22 yrs old after beining married a year when you told them not too because they were too young ,only dated 6 months ,you thought they had nothing in common , were far too different, and they chose not to listen plus drop out of college when all they needed was 8 more credits?I am just wondering because i am leaving my husband have not told him or anyone yet but bought a one way plane ticket back to NJ and enrolled back in college.My parents know i am coming home for christmas but i did not tell them its perminent.?
2006-12-07 08:13:26 · 41 answers · asked by Jane D 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I feel really embarrassed as it is and i dont want to hear i told you so.
2006-12-07 08:16:08 · update #1
my mom is very critical but i am a daddy girl.
2006-12-07 08:27:08 · update #2
You made a mistake. You're parents love you, and I'm sure if they didn't approve of the marriage in the 1st place, they will be happy to take you in again.
I'm sorry that things did not work out for you. Good luck w/ your future plans.
Of course you are embarrassed & it will be hard to swallow your pride, but hopefully your parents will recognize that you've already been through enough & just be supportive and loving. And if not, well, they did tell you so....that may be the price you have to pay. You know your parents better than any of us do (obvioulsy), you're the only one who knows if they are the type of people to rub salt in a wound.
2006-12-07 08:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by melonamc 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, not hearing, "I told you so", is probably pretty mild compared to what you have been through. Your parents are going to let you come back home. I have 21 year old twins, and at times I am extremely frustrated and disappointed with them. BUT the reason, I wouldn't want them to run off and get married and leave college, is because I LOVE THEM. Parents love their kids more than life itself. That doesn't stop because they make a mistake. Your parents weren't disappointed in you because of what THEY wanted in life. They were disappointed because of the life they wanted for YOU. Someday, you will understand all of this when you have children of your own.
Your parents will want to help you out no matter how old you are. I will tell you though: They will say, "I told you so", because they want to confirm that you understand that they know what is best for you most of the time. That is their job. It is not to put you down and rub in your face that you made a mistake. It is just because they hope that whatever happened, that you learned from the mistake and realized that They knew what was right for you, just as they have for the last 22 years.
No one in this world has put more effort and love into your future than you parents have. NOR will anyone else as long as you live. They have probably been dreaming about your future since you were an infant.
A good idea: When you break the news, Say, "mom, dad, you were right. I should have listened to you and realized how much you were just caring about me." I bet you will soften the blows of the "I told you so's", because you will have already confirmed that you understand they were right.
I will bet that you being home at christmas will be the best present ever for them.
GOOD LUCK, MERRY CHRISTMAS, and have a happy life!!!!
2006-12-07 08:29:58 · answer #2 · answered by sheristeele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I think you should talk with your husband and not live just like that , also your parents will be needing an explanation before not when you are there.... What was the problem they will ba asking questions are you ready for all the trouble that migth come because of this????? Just make sure on what tou will be doing it migth not be easy but I don't think it was the best solution and I believe there will be no problem with your parents for you to move back but you will have to be responsible & helping them with utilities or give them $$$ like paying a rent you are too young and will need to know that there will be rules at home like before you got married be aware of all the things that will be changing in your life ... GOOD LUCK !!
2006-12-07 08:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them its a perminent homecoming before you leave. Ask them if you can move back into their house for a while. Tell them you have already enrolled in college. Tell them they were right but you had to find out the hard way. Yes, I would let my child come back home after all that. We all make mistakes we just need to learn from them. Good Luck and Take care.
2006-12-07 08:25:08 · answer #4 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is key here. You have to be honest with all of them and tell the truth about WHY are you leaving him. Nor your parents or your husband deserve to find out about your decission this way, which is easy and childish. Is it now that you realize that they were right? That life wsn't ging to be easy? But if it was LOVE what made you get married, LOVE should keep this marriage going. That's what you meant: for better or for worse. (I'm talking about true love, not just "passion" or "warms feelings for someone". Just think about what would you do if he were the one doing thid to you. Marriage is about giving... so give it another chance... and again.. and again... (that's grown-up's life!) Marriage is like buying something without "return" or "exchange " policy. Sorry! but that's what my parents taught me and I've been working on my marriage since, and having a blast for 3 years already. Good luck!
2006-12-07 08:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by Verito 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents told you that to try to get you to see the truth. Love blinded you, and you refused to listen to their advice. If your parents are like mine, they will take your action of buying the ticket and re-enrollment in college as a step ahead. When you get home, I would sit down with them and just lay your cards on the table with them, and ask them to forgive you for not listening to them in the first place and that now you see what they were talking about. People make mistakes, and if they are the parents I think they are, they will welcome you back and be proud to help you get back on your feet. Be prepared to live by their rules if you are living in their house while you are going to school, and think about how long it will be before you can be on your own - that will give them the idea that you mean business about getting on with your life. I would certainly let my kids come home if they needed me (I love them regardless of their mistakes). Hold your chin up and go after your college. Work at restoring your confidence and your independance. Good luck.
2006-12-07 08:25:27 · answer #6 · answered by Doug R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let my child come home in those circumstances in a heartbeat. Home is the place where when you have to go there they have to take you in. :)
Of course they don't actually have to but if they are reasonable people I bet they will. It's not like you're on drugs or on probation or something- you just made a mistake and are trying your best to get your life back together.
My mom thought I got married too soon and it wouldn't work. Well, it actually worked out great but I know if it hadn't she would have taken me back even though she was furious at me for getting married so quick.
2006-12-07 08:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by AerynneC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would because kids are going to make their own mistakes, that's how they learn. It not always an easy thing to do because we don't want our kids to get hurt, but we have to sit back and allow our kids to make decisions on their own. It sounds like you are headed on the right track by enrolling back in school, that will make your parents happy. Give your parents some credit and trust that they want what's best for you. Tell them you are coming home for good and I'm sure they will welcome you back with open arms. Good luck!
2006-12-07 15:06:03 · answer #8 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you my reaction, but there is no way of knowing if your parents would respond the same way. There is no way I could turn my child away if they needed me. That being said, I would immediately begin looking for ways to restore their marriage and get their life back on track. I would suggest you be open with both your parents and husband and not surprise people with this decision. Sorry you are struggling through this.
2006-12-07 08:18:45 · answer #9 · answered by hutmikttmuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You could be my son! Only, you're a girl! :) My son did the exact same thing last year. He moved in with his g/f in August and they got married in November. We all told them they were TOO young (he was 18, she was 19) and that they needed to wait...but they knew better...he was back home by June of this year...
You're young and you made a mistake. Thank Goodness you realized it now, before there were children involved. I am sure your parents will let you come back home. Just make the most of it and prove to them you want a better life for yourself. And, start listening to them! I promise you, they only want whats best for you! They are not trying to control you...they are sharing their life experience and wisdome with you...take it to heart...
Good Luck!
2006-12-07 08:18:24 · answer #10 · answered by Tracy G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋