I met a girl and after the first date...she says she likes me a lot and wants to be in a relationship. I explained to her that I wasn't looking to be in a relationship so quickly. She said that she understood. We had sex on the first date...now I regret it. The next day she called me 18 times when I told her I was at work. I told her how I felt about it but not much has changed. She told me that she loved me only after 2 dates. I told her that I don't think we should have sex anymore since we feel differently. She said that she respects how I feel but still wants to have sex. I have limited my phone calls to her...How do I let her go without disrespecting her and hurting her feelings by not answering her calls? I'm afraid that she might be crazy and just start popping up at my house.
2006-12-07 08:10:30 · 17 answers · asked by symbol313 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can't believe I am doing this, but I am compelled to answer this question, due to sympathy for this young lady. I for one know that you can no longer have sex with this young lady. She obviously has a low self-esteem. Women deal with their emotions differently. A woman can have sex with a man and be head over hills and have no idea what the reason is.
Most likely she could be lonely and that is why she is calling you soo much, and she most likely doesn't love herself the way she should. This is unfortunate but I see things like this with young women all the time in my organization. Men should be more careful when they just go to bed with a woman and they do not want strings attached. Women tend to deal with situations and circumstances alot more differently that you would imagine.
GOD has made women emotional creatures, while on the other hand, men are logical and analytical. So women may feel a emotion or feel infatuated and will almost be certain that it is love. I am pretty sure that this young lady has had her heart broken before. It is good that you do not have sex with her any longer, it will definitely lead her on. You should not take advantage of her. She is not thinking correctly, she is not crazy.
She has probably been hurt before and she is just holding on extra tight to you, so that you don't leave. She probably has had men leave her before in the past. That may be a fear of hers. Most of the time, things are alot deeper than they seem. Being a woman of GOD, I realize this. Do not take advantage of her. Tell her you want to be her friend, and try and find out why she is behaving the way she is. You can be upfront without hurting her feelings. Just ask her straight out.
Just say : I have noticed you are holding onto me very tight. I want to know why, and what is going on in your life to make you act this way. Of course this is if you really like her, and are concerned, like you appear to be now. But if this is just an act, and you are not concerned and could care less, Just tell her not to call, and you wish her the best. This is clear proof that people should not take sex lightly. It is just as spiritual as it is physical.
2006-12-07 16:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by Tonya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, love after the first or second date isn't really that uncommon. Calling 18 times when you were at work the next day might be a little different. Possibly borderline. If you were into her at all, maybe try just talking to her about things and see how reacts...If not, it really doesn't matter if you answer her calls or not...or whatever you say to let her down "easy".
Sometimes crazy is just crazy....
2006-12-07 16:15:31 · answer #2 · answered by hoddin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just end it. Do it gently, but make it firm at the same time. Just tell her you're not ready for "love", that it's too soon in the relationship. Having sex on a first date is probably something you should avoid in the future, too. That might have made her think your relationship was more than it really is. Good luck!
2006-12-07 16:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you told her you don't want to have sex anymore, and that you feel differently. She says she respects that, but still wants to have sex. This is a big no no.
Do NOT have sex with her again. She's just saying that to try to pull you in further.
She sounds very clingy.
I think it's great that you don't want to disrespect her or hurt her feelings, but I think in a case like this, I would just tell her straight out that you don't want to see her anymore. Then stop answering her calls.
Otherwise, things could get very messy.
2006-12-07 16:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by AnswerMom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's really intense. One of my friends actually had a similar experience. She went on one date with this guy, and afterwards he called her his girlfriend. It got to the point where he was stalking her...he'd show up at her classes, wait outside her room, etc. I think the best idea is to end it asap! Sit her down and tell her how you feel. If that doesn't work, you may have to be a little mean to get what you want. Good luck!
2006-12-07 16:17:44 · answer #5 · answered by skichamonix515 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
18 times that's a fatal attraction! You may already be in trouble. Break it off clean. Stop the sex, stop the phone calls, just tell her sorry but this isn't going to work. Just stop.
2006-12-07 16:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by rdwngfever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow,that is a problem! A friend of mine had a similar situation...and I must say that this grl has to be a little crazy(to be nice) or wanting a serious relationship..but it is obvious not that,that's not what you want. So, I think you should just be completely honest with her and tell her that she's too clingy..that you don't want to hurt her,but you don't want to see her anymore.If she begings to say that she understands,tell her that she obviously doesn't and that you don't want to be rude,but will be if she doesn't stop calling.
2006-12-07 16:19:02 · answer #7 · answered by LOSTinTheFuture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like one of them girls... i have been in that situation, and i just met with her, sat her down and layed it out step by step of how its going to go. I told her i liked her but i was not ready for commitment and she was, and that the best thing for us to do was not have sex or see each other anymore. she cried like hell and got mad, but i see her now and we are just friends!
2006-12-07 16:15:21 · answer #8 · answered by smitty4626 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break it off clean and fast she sounds unstable and if you are not careful you may end up with way more of a head ach more like she ends of pregnant and claims its yours, or borken out windows in your car, or worse.... RUN!
2006-12-07 16:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by quamie21 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well you've told her that you dont want to continue relations with her. i think she fell in love with your you know what and now she doesnt want to let go. did she tell you that she loved you or you think that she is? well its mostly lust and such. you just need to be firm with her and not continue to sleep with her.
2006-12-07 16:16:28 · answer #10 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋