My soon-to-be mother-in-law is making my life hell with all these questions about dresses and bridesmaids. I'm trying to get down to a size 18 for my wedding, but I just want to feel like my real self. Does anyone have advice on de-stressing and looking beautiful for a wedding when you're NOT a size 6? It seems like there's no good advice on any of the popular wedding websites (theknot, etc.). HELP!
2006-12-07 08:06:43 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Firstly, stop dieting NOW - a piece of dark chocolate will perk up those happy hormones! Just be polite to the MIL; don't alienate his family.
Be yourself always, no matter what. I was bigger than you at my wedding, a 24, and was so worried at not being able to find a dress, any kind - let alone a pretty one, and was worried about how it would look. Found a totally beautiful traditional wedding gown, and it needed some alteration (extra bits added under the arms, but it was done so expertly you couldn't even tell, and wasn't expensive). It was of heavy bridal satin, with sequins and crystals and appliques; I wore a tiara and a veil, and looked like a million bucks! What helped to kind of disguise the "belly" was to have a dropped basque waist. Ask the bridal shop about it.
You don't say where you are, but most here seem to be US. No matter where you live, you are always not far from a larger center to look. Don't not go to places because you "think" they won't have plus sizes - phone ahead, even. Mine was from a regular bridal salon.
If you feel beautiful, you will look beautiful. Your love and happiness will radiate from you - not only on your wedding day, but everyday. I married a tall, thin man with a metabolism that won't quit. Living with him hasn't been easy, because he eats like a horse and doesn't gain an ounce. He has always accepted me for who and what I am, and we are totally happy in EVERY way (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!) after over 17 years of being married.
Make sure your wedding bouquet is large sized, so it's in proportion. Might sound stupid, but it's advice I got and it's true. I had a huge bouquet of mixed flowers, hand-tied European style, so it was amazing and large. My bridesmaids had smaller versions.
Wish you LUCK and LOVE, and don't forget to have FUN!
2006-12-07 09:46:55 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being a plus size bride can be tough. The truth is that the grooms mom has nothing to do with the wedding unless she is footing part of the bill. Don't let others stress you out. This is traditionally your families job.
Want some seriously heartfelt advice? Wear what fits you well and what you feel elegant in. You know you can rent a dress. Forget buying one for 1000's of dollars. You can rent one for 100 bucks or so. Trust me, this is a better option. It's not like you will ever wear it again.
BTW, just because you are big doesn't mean you are not beautiful just how you are. This is a day that is supposed to be joyous for you.
Make the day about you... because when the romance and passion fades the wedding memories are what women think back to when they search for the stregnth not to leave or give up.
Don't be one of those brides who spends all her time running around trying to make everything perfect for everyone else but herrself. Make this day about you.
Also, consider this... the cost of the average wedding is enough to put the down payment on a $200,000 dollar home. Do you really want to go through all the expense of a wedding when you could do something really small and put the cash towards building a real future together with your new husband?
Just a thought.
2006-12-07 08:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by Brother Crash 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I also am a plus size bride and I can understand the stress. Although it is getting a little easier to find clothing, it still took me going to several different bridal shops and finally found the perfect dress at David's Bridal. I know that it's a lot of stress, but if you just take your time and really look for a dress, you will find the perfect one I also suggest using scented candles and lots of hot baths. I would also suggest going to Bridal Shows if you can find any near you. I hear that they give out a lot of free samples and will probably give lots of tips about how to de-stress. I'm also sure they will give tips on make up and hair. If nothing else, I think you need to get all the bridesmaids together for a pampering party. That's a great way to relax. As far as dealing with your future mother-in-law ... just let her know that it's your day and you know everything will turn out fine. Even though you are not a size 6, as long as you love who you are and what you look like (and so does your fiance), then that's all that matters. You will find the perfect dress and then everything else will fall into place. I hope these help. Most of us aren't the size 6 that magazines want people to believe, so I say live life to it's fullest and be happy planning your wedding. There's enough to stress about with finalizing all of the details w/out having to worry about what your future mother-in-law thinks.
2006-12-07 13:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off just take a deep breath and remember that your soon to be hubby wants and loves you just the way you are. There are many beautiful dresses in plus sizes. Try to look as much like yourself as possible because you won't want to look back at your pictures and not recognize yourself. Try going to a spa, have your nails done and maybe a massage. Relax and don't think about it too much. Try to concentrate on the marriage more than the wedding. Don't be afraid to ask for advice or help from friends and family, they want to help! Maybe put your mother in law to work making decorations or centerpieces and get her mind off of your decisions. Good luck!
2006-12-07 20:08:19 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was a size 18 for my wedding (at least, according to the bridal gown size charts...I really wear a 20). At first, I was all freaked out and trying really hard to lose weight. But then I got practical.
My husband fell in love with me and proposed while I was plus size. And I am who I am...why freak out about changing that just for one day. Bridal gowns make brides beautiful, no matter what size. And what would have happened if I'd dieted, ordered a dress in my new small size, and then gained again before the wedding? Dresses can be altered down, but they can't be made bigger.
So I ordered a dress that is my normal size, and then I just tried to be more healthy. I figured if it worked, I'd just alter my dress down (remember, all dresses have to be altered if even just a little bit, and the cost is the same no matter if they're taking in .25 inches or a whole foot). And if it didn't work, then my dress would still fit and I'd still look good.
There's so many other things to worry about, don't let your size be another one! Your man is happy with you; be happy with yourself. And trust me, you WILL be beautiful so long as you remember to stand proud and SMILE.
2006-12-07 08:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am also a plus size bride just be true to your self and if you are happy with you that go with it i found my dress at david bridal and let me tell you it is so pretty and i love it and would not wish i was smaller because when i tried that dress on i knew that i loves this dress that i looked like a princess and i didnt even notice my weight find the right dress and it will all fit and work out! Good luck!
2006-12-07 08:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance met you as a plus size woman so don't stress yourself about losing weight for the wedding now. Get your regular size dress and FLAUNT IT! Don't worry about what your mother in law thinks. Just be yourself and have a good time at your wedding.
2006-12-07 08:53:03 · answer #7 · answered by clueless 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're going to feel like a million dollars in your dress no matter what size you are!!!! Your soon to be husband LOVES you no matter what your size either, who cares about his mother.
I know I felt much better once I actually tried dresses on. I thought I would feel AWFUL, but I really didn't. I'm not a size 6, I'm not even a size 10, but I know I'm going to feel beautiful.
So, my advise to you honey, is to take your mother or your sister or your best friend to a bridal shop and start trying on dresses. You're going to feel beautiful and what your mother in law said to you will start to not hurt so badly.
Congratulations, good luck, and keep your head up!!
2006-12-07 08:30:30 · answer #8 · answered by AmyB 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am a size 22 and dealing with the same issue. So far I love the corset style dresses. They seem to put everything where you would want it to go. I don't know about you but I didn't even look at sleeveless dresses because I hate my upper arms. The seamstress I am working with said it is really easy to ad cap sleeves. I also plan on buying some really sexy under-stuff. No one but my husband will see them but it will be my little secret.
2006-12-07 08:21:59 · answer #9 · answered by Andrea G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm plus size, and though I'm not even engaged, I have done tons of wedding dress research in hopes that my boyfriend will soon ask me :) Here is my favorite website for wedding dresses:
http://www.igigi.com/
For lingerie:
http://www.laurensilva.com/
For toning those bulges:
http://www.spanx.com/pls/enetrixp/!stmenu_template.main
Good luck! I hope you have a wonderful wedding day, and don't let your soon-to-be-mother-in-law get you down, every woman is beautiful!
2006-12-07 09:23:07 · answer #10 · answered by kameka 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋