What do I do if my head explodes and I go insane? Can I get free cheese from the government?

Answer 1

if your head explodes you won't be able to eat government cheese. but if you just go insane you can definitely get government assistance... and probably a nice stay in a state run institution. good luck with that!

Answer 2

Those are actually separate conditions which do not necessarily follow each other.
You head exploding or Spontaneous Cranial Burst (SCB) is usually not covered by the state or federal government for cheese or other dairy type compensation, due to the very high mortality rate it carries. There might be more local sources or dedicated Non Government Organizations (NGO's) who can help.
Going insane is too broad of a description with little scientific, or practical validity. Also since, as stated above, no causal link to SCB has been established authorities are reluctant to distribute fermented milk products or crackers. Evidently however; many, with lack of other sources for remedies, do turn to Yahoo Answers, which seems to be more than willing to cater.

I would urge to do more research on the specific government bureaucracies both on the state and federal level in the US. As you might know under the current federal system of government dictated by the constitution, many governing functions are divided between the state and federal institutions, although some overlap does exist.

In the course of the research suggested above, or any other quest for knowledge that might be more appealing to your known palate of curiosity, you may not only find that such a venture is in itself a preventative measure for your head exploding and/or going insane, but it might bring with it a level of higher satisfaction from life in general and perhaps monetary compensation in form of more lucrative employment.

Answer 3

If your head explodes, you'll be dead, so it's impossible for you to go insane (at least in THIS life!). As for free cheese...the gov't doesn't give much away, but cheese SEEMS to be one of their favourites. SO, I'd say, get some help, keep your head from exploding and THEN apply for free cheese (and other food).

Back when i thought I might go nuts, my shrink used to say, "Going insane is just pretending". I found that supremely comforting! You can always STOP pretending...and still get cheese.

P.S. Excuse my repetition of the ("If your head explodes...) answers above, but as you know, we often don't get to see those who beat us to the post.~

Answer 4

if your head explodes you will be dead! currently there is not cure for this condition, but if you dictate that you want your body frozen after your dead, your bdy might be preserved well enough that if we ever find a cure for death you can be brought back to life.

currently the government dose not give out free chees [to dead or living] people

Answer 5

Yep, bet you could get free peanut butter too....lol

Answer 6

Yep, I believe so.

Answer 7

Are you serious lmao!