My oldest daughter is 14. She has two younger siblings (11 & 7). She is constantly jealous. Step-mom (who she adores) asked her to write a "list" of those she was jealous of. She wrote 6 pages!!!!! Is there a real problem here? She bullies her brother until he nearly cries. (he is 11). Any ideas? Our extended family is loving and supportive. We don't know what to do!!!! Thanks.
2006-12-07 07:31:55 · 17 answers · asked by Susan Gould 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
At that stage, its really hard to get through to teens! They are going through so much at once, that they feel like the whole world is against them. While jealousy has been identified as a major issue for her, it is likely that there are other deeper issues that are more important and her emotions are just being packaged into "jealousy". In a case like this, everyone involved needs to look inward and see what they can do to help. There must be other things going on...talk to her teachers privately if possible, as talking to her peers may embarrass and upset her. Just try to get as accurate a picture as you can of all elements of her life and then work towards counselling, bringing in an unknown party, becuase, at that age, it is more likely that she will open up to that person. Good luck!
2006-12-07 07:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you have said, your mom is probably an enabler and is too old to have to raise a girl this age. She needs someone who will make rules and enforce them through love and discipline. When my youngest son was 16, he decided to go to a girl's house who my husband and I knew had no supervision and was into drugs. I called the police and they brought him home. He knew that each time he tried to disobey us, the police would come and get him. He didn't try to go there again. Then another time, when he got arrested for shooting firecrackers in a place that was a "No Firecrackers Allowed" area, he got to stay in jail for almost a week because we didn't get him out. He finally learned that we meant what we said and he is now 29 years old with a family of his own and doing great. He never got into trouble again. Kids just need to know that they are loved enough to be made to do what is right or else.
2016-05-23 04:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs professional help. At this stage she is really not doing well and she is a thorn in the side of the other siblings.
Talk to her teachers because she must be demonstrating this sort of behavior at school as well.
The family need to get a therapist to see her and bring the entire extended family in for counseling sessions to try to help her.
If you start now you can have a well adjusted young lady in time for college.
2006-12-07 07:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may need some kind of counseling. You need to get it for her now because if you her get older without any help it will only get worse. A six page list of people is a little extreme. You could also try talking to her about what may be bothering her and giving her this serious feeling of jealousy.
2006-12-07 07:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by jonesty1284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly she has a real problem. Her problem is how she perceives herself and she sees others as getting all the attention she desires. She feels she is being left out of things and that her sisters and brothers are liked more than she is. She may need some real counseling to get to the root of the problem. Something is really bothering her and it is manifesting itself through her nasty actions.
2006-12-07 07:37:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefull this is just a stage that should end in a year, but if it is truly this severe you should have her read "How much Land does a man need" by Tolstoy. It's a short story about how a man's greed consumes him and he dies b/c of his greed. Sometimes you just have to scream at them and teach them a lesson if they are being this difficult. Bring her to some 3rd world country and show her how her greed is consuming her. If you do this too nicely she will scoff at it and be even angrier
2006-12-07 07:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by Elle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but your daughter has some real issues. did she put why she is jelous of all them people? you might want to get her in so consuling she needs it. maybe its just she is insucure and needs someone outside of the family to talk to. ask her doctor to give you a referral to a sicologist. its not back to see one at that age. my girl seen one when she was 11 years old and it helped her out alot she said so try that. hope this helps you.
2006-12-07 07:40:43 · answer #7 · answered by jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully this is just a stage she's going through and will grow out of it soon. I suggest taking time to spend with her one on one. This way she feels special. If that doesn't work family counseling might help.
2006-12-07 08:30:41 · answer #8 · answered by LJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 pages? Really? Was it all people she knows - or celebrities and the like included? Maybe ask her if she's like to talk about it - if not with you - with someone else (like a counselor). You definitely need to speak to her about her behavior towards her brother though. I know that stuff like that can be typical to the age and all - but she needs to know that it's damaging to her brother.
2006-12-07 07:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
set rules n limits on her and the others. all the way from what they can do, what they cant do to each other, what will happen to them if they break a rule, and stick to the punishment no matter what. she needs to know at her age that she cant act like a baby. she must be held accountable for her actions and more so then the others due to her age.
2006-12-07 07:53:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋