I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months. We're in love, meaning he says he loves me and I love him. A couple weeks ago he told me that his ex had started dating again and that he was feeling jealous about that. They dated for 3 years, and he broke up with her shortly before meeting me. The catch is that she lives in MN and he's in VA here with me (his family is in MN, tho). He said he needed to see her over winter break to make sure he's not still in love with her, which I can understand as they dated for such a long time. For a while, I was concerned everyday; constantly asking him what he was feeling. However, I haven't mentioned anything for about a week, and everything seems to be great. We spend a lot of time together; we're happy, and he keeps saying how much he loves being around me. I'm still concerned tho, and I don't know if I should bring it up again. I can't go home with him because it's too far away. What should I do...mention anything? Should I worry?
2006-12-07 07:22:04 · 8 answers · asked by skichamonix515 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can't tell him not to go home for Christmas! He's going to spend the holidays wiht his family, not the ex. He's just going to see her once or twice during the month that he's home. He keeps telling me not to worry...does this mean he's probably going to stay with me?
2006-12-07 07:27:03 · update #1
He is obviously not in love with you if he thinks he might still have sumthin 4 her...WAKE UP GIRL!!! if he goes leave him
2006-12-07 07:24:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The logic here is so large you might have missed it!
Maybe you are throwing the word "love" around too much or, maybe not. One thing's for sure, he is! You cannot truly love someone and say; but, just in case, I'm going to test the water one more time with my ex!!
It's like saying: I'm going to leave you, but, if it doesn't work out I'll be back!
Here's the bottom line, no matter how hard it is: He could have gone home for the holidays with trust and your love, then return to the love he claims to have. Since this item of the ex-girl friend is in the way, there is no trust. That's true mostly due to the fact that he is unsure of his true feelings.
Tell him to go but, you are not together while he is gone, if he wants to check things out with the ex! You might also mention that your ex or someone special called and wants to take you to NJ boardwalk during the holidays so he will have to give you a number where you can call him.
I know the last sentence is vindictive but you need to get your head straight on this. Your self esteem is either taking a tremendous blow or your Thorazine isn't working!
2006-12-07 07:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by ggraves1724 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't have dated you right away if he knew he was going to still have feelings for his ex. And it's good you understand that he was with her for a while. He didn't do anything when he went to see her did he? I don't think he should have done that, because he chose to date you and seeing his ex girlfriend is not a good thing. But, if everything is fine now and he isn't calling her or still telling you he has feelings for her, then don't worry at all. If you feel pressured about anything, just talk to him.
Krazy Libra
2006-12-07 07:27:19 · answer #3 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to see her to make sure he's still not in love with her anymore ????? While your his gf ?????? What does that say about his feelings for you ?? So basically if he still loves her and she is willing to stop dating the new guy, your out on the curb ?? I'm nobodies second best and would wish him well on his trip and we would be over with. No you cant stop him from going home on Christmas but what kind of a thing is that for someone to tell their gf ?????
2006-12-07 07:32:06 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. You do not have much invested in this relationship as in four months real love does not develop. If he needs to see if he still has feelings for this other girl that means he does. Not only would I let him go and see her, I would wish him well and say good bye. You deserve someone who wants to stay with you and doesn't have anyone else on his mind.
2006-12-07 07:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. I'm sorry to say that maybe you should break thing off with him. I would never want my man to tell me that he might still have feelings for his ex, if he says he might*, it's obvious he does, therefore he might pretend to be happy just for our sake, but it's probably a burden to him deep down inside, and I'm not going to be there just for company, I want him to love me, and only me, and tell me. Now, I'm sure he's grateful he found you, and he does love you, but that type of love that lingers is obvisouly different than the love you want.
2006-12-07 07:33:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds familiar. The fact that he wants and needs to spend the holidays with the woman he loved means he doesn't love you.
2006-12-07 07:24:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing much you can do here. Just see how he feels upon his return and take it from there. It's really his decision as to how he wants to lead his own life. Ultimatums as this point probably won't be helpful.
2006-12-07 07:25:08 · answer #8 · answered by AustinoBambino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋