What can I do to make my family support me and my dreams? they always tear me down and treet me like durt?

Question

I am 17 and i have an older brother, a younger brother and a younger sister. my older brother is "perfect" in my parents eyes and in every one elses eyes at school. he is a freshman at the community college while i am a dual enroled highschool student. he always makes better grades, but does not work hard at all, mostly in math. he sits back and does nothing he doesent even take notes or do home work (teacher never checks it any way) but he makes 120 on every test. I am in the same class and I take notes, do all the home work work realy hard at it and then make less than 80 on most tests. my family is always asking me why i cant be more like him. i have accomplished just about every thing he has and more but because he did it frist nothing i do matters. also he is 19 and has no idea what he wants to do, is working for a basic major (that means he can transfer later and have all his accademics done). he is perfectly happy to stay at home and go to a junk school while I want to go to a

good school and get a good education. i want to be a chef and the best culinary school I know of is only 45 miles away. but it is like the yale of culinary schools and very costly. my family has no money and are never supportive about my wanting to go this school. the only problem with this school is the money. they want me to be content with going to a stinking community college frist then transfering to another school. I want to get away from here as fast as posable. i have never gotten any support on any thing from my family. and when compared to my brother the only thing i can do is cook and ride a bike, while he can do math (that is the only thing that matters to my dad because he is a math teacher) and gets better grades in almost every thing, he can do this that and any thing and is very good at it, so i have two talents while my bro has 50. my parents think he is all that, he is "perfect" and i am worthless. all i know for sure is that one day i will be making lots of money and

my brother will be living in my parents basement. and when i get my self a car and leaving for college i will go up to my brother and knock out a few teeth and then drive off.

Answer 1

Try not to let it get you down. We all want our family's to be proud of us and not compare us to others, but in your case, that isn't going to happen.

Do your best, follow your dreams and hang in there. You're almost of age to leave home and stand on your own. When you're out of their house it won't be as distressing to you, their favoritism and comparing you to your older brother.

Hopefully you'll find friends and a SO that stand behind you and encourage you to replace what your family is supposed to be giving you.

Who knows, someday when they wake up with a 45 year old son living in their basement and mooching off them they'll say to him, "Why can't you be like your younger brother?".

Answer 2

You are an individual, and you should never be compared to another person...especially by your parents. Sure, schoolwork may come easier for him (as it did with my sister), but it seems to me that he has no ambition in life, which is 75% of the struggle. Sure, he could probably get a great scholarship to a good college with those grades, but his chances of getting a good job afterward are not as good as yours....simply because of a lack of passion...something most employers look for.
What you need to do first, is start believeing more in yourself...after all, it's your life and no one else's. Secondly...and I mean this in the best possible way...work on your grammer a little (I'm not trying to make fun of you, but colleges...even culinary ones...will look at every aspect of their student's abilities, and being able to compose a letter or essay correctly is a must). You don't have to be perfect, but double-checking your composition is always a good idea.
Lastly...and I do mean lastly...tuition isn't nearly as much of a problem as you think. There are probably lots of scholarships, financial aid (go to FAFSA.org for an application for government loans...some of which you may not have to pay back), or even a bank loan if you show enough promise. I see lots of students at my local college who do work study for the school to help pay for classes and books. So, money should not be such a big issue.
Guidance counselors and teachers at your high school should be more than willing to help you out.
Believe in yourself, and don't worry about your brother being "better" than you...there's no such thing. Most of all, set a good example for your younger siblings...their futures are ahead of them as well.
Keep studying...that's a great habit to have, and you'll go really far.

As for community colleges, your parents have a slight point...some of the classes you might take at culinary school may be more expensive, so going to a local college to get some of those math, or history, or english courses you need might make it cheaper for you...and federal financial aid should cover you. Check with the culinary school's curriculum to see what classes you need to get your degree.

Answer 3

It is to bad that your family wont support you. But that unfortunately is the dynamics of some families. My son had a similar problem but with his teachers, not our family. From the beginning of kindergarten he was a talented artist, and wanted to go to college for art. All through high school his teachers told him he just wasn't smart enough to go to college. Well today he has a BFA degree and is working as a professional artist. He is also the first one in our family to go to college. I am going to give you the same advice i gave him when he got down about it-People will get in line to tell you that you can't do something. That line will stretch down the block, across the street, around the corner, over the river and through the woods. Ignore them. Instead, pay attention to that short line of people that will support you in your endeavors. In other words look for mentors, they are out there. Good luck and BELIEVE in yourself.

Answer 4

I went through a similar situation when I was growing up, my older brother was a near genius, my sister was just a step behind him and then came myself and my younger brother. Of course my younger brother and I got this great since of humor, God knew we would need it growing up in that family LOL.That was a joke. We use to tell the 2 older ones that they got the book sense and we got all the looks.LOL.
Enough jokes, but to make you feel better about your self and your situation let's take a little insite to who you are. Do you want to be a chef because you have a strong desire for this ? or could it be because they disaprove and you are trying to make them see that you are not your brother? If you truly have a desire to become a chef, then go for it. Stop stressing over everything else and put your focus on just how and what you need to do to accomplish your goal. Do not change your decision for anyone. When you are on your own making a living for yourself and eventually your family, your parents and siblings will not be paying your way,so you need to make sure you will have a job that you are proud of and enjoy going to every day. We can't always live up to the expectations of others, but in turn they don't always live up to our expectations either.
I am proud to hear that you have a goal in sight, good for you. Stop trying to make better grades to influence the acceptance of your parents and siblings, try making good grades to ensure yourself the chance to get into the college you choose. If you will make this more about what you want, I bet your grades will be fine. Who said you have to abtain an A average on everything, it should be more about how much knowledge you have obtained.
Attending the college of your choice........The first year you may need to obtain a loan, because your entry will depend on the past years income, of course if you move out for one year and base it on your income there is a great possiblity you will qualify for a Pell Grant.
You are on the verge of becoming an adult and need to over come the need to be better than others and become aware of being the best you can for who you are and use your potential to its fullest to benefit your adult life.
Good Luck
Let me add a little about my story....my sister failed one semester of nursing school and had to start over,but good for her she did succede and is a RN. I on the other hand graduated with a 4.0 in cosmetology. My mother was a nurse and so my career decision was frowned upon, my parents attended my sisters graduation with gifts, but my graduation was see as just another day, they didn't even attend, I was very hurt and I let them know about it, but because of their own hatefulness I just had to get over it, they did not offer any remorse for the hurt they caused me and 20 years later, who the hell cares.They don't so why should I.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, you can't MAKE then support you. It's sad that they don't acknowledge all the things you do but you can be a success with or without them. Believe in yourself and keep doing your best. If you are a hard worker and he is not, then in the end you will end up better off than him and one day they will be asking him why he can't be more like you!! Hang in there!

Answer 6

apply to culinary school. get loans to cover the cost. when you are 18, leave. Do your very best in school and follow your dreams. (because the only one who can make a success or failure out of yourself is you). your parents will either continue to degrade you, or convince themselves they had full hands in your success, or decide you are the success later on while comparing your brother negatively to you. either way, don't worry about it. Focus on yourself and your dreams. You can't make somone support you, you can only find a group of supportive people to hang around.

Answer 7

Your brother's accomplishments don't define you and for that matter what your parents think of you (or what YOU THINK your parents think of you)....sounds like you are a bit jealous that things come easy to your brother and doesn't need to study as hard as you....all you can do is work hard toward your goals not to make your parents proud of you but to be proud of yourself.

Answer 8

be proud of who you are yoou sound great try your best do what you want to do dont be put off by your brother he sounds like a jerk

Answer 9

I bet they make fun of your spelling as well. Don't be a hero!

Answer 10

prove them all wrong