Okay, I have this problem! This guy I like and I are getting serious but I am scared to make a commitment to him. I have never had a real boyfriend or anything and it is getting real serious between. How can I confront my fears of commitment phobia?
thanx
2006-12-07 06:38:17 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just suck up and admit ur in love
2006-12-07 06:49:49 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Chocol@t3 K!$$3$♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instinct. Without thinking about any of this at all, try to see what the underlay of your thoughts is. Is it ranging more towards this serious relationsip or towards the fear of a serious relationship? If you believe you are ready for a serious relationship and know you'll be learning new sutff, it will be a new experience and know that there will be times where stuff will be different and will you be willing to work on your relationship? And also, is your boyfriend the one you want to embark on this new experience with?
Or do you still think your too young for a serious relationship and would like to hang out and do the same things you're doing right now for a little while later? And would be ok with hurting your boyfriend with your decision.
In the end, it all comes down to what you want. Just reason with yourself. Put your thoughts on solid paper and try to see which direction you're mostly pointed at. Good luck.
2006-12-07 06:44:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are not fears or phobia. it's a matter of you being ready or not. I don't know much about you but maybe you have not lived your life yet? how old are you? and are you ready to settle down? there is nothing to fear about commitment. You can still have fun and be happy and have someone to hug and kiss everyday which is a blessing. sorry if i offend you but from your words I'm assuming that you might be a virgin and is afraid from sex "I have never had a real boyfriend or anything". sorry again, I'm just trying to help. If you like him then you have nothing to fear. best of luck. remember that you control your thoughts not the other way around. be positive and give it a chance
2006-12-07 06:50:39 · answer #3 · answered by sgtelk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not having been in a serious relationship before it's easy to see how it would be intimidating. If you are just scared of a relationship because it's a relationship then you will really just have to feel things out and take it slow. If you are fearful because of your partner then you should reconsider that person.
2006-12-07 06:40:25 · answer #4 · answered by williamcoulson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES, finally a woman with negative commitment issues I knew it wasn't just men. Yea I agree with whoever said tell him about it. Talking is helpful, most of the time.
2006-12-07 06:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by Snap J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, just go for it!!! Do you believe in God? Well if the answer is yes, than God will take care of you and everything else go with your heart. Make sure you do your part in the relationship so if it ever hits the fan you can look back and say...his lost. If you never comit you will continue to ask yourself.....what if?????
2006-12-07 06:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by TRA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do what ur heart tells u. If you honestly luv em then go in2 it. Its ok to be scared he is probly too. The relationship is only going to get stronger if you both embrace those fears and move through them. If one of u gets scared it is all right they will help you through it. Best of luck stay strong and enjoy each moment as one.
2006-12-07 06:42:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. I won't lie, it will probably be hard to do, but if you can't talk about that kind of thing, then your relationship will probably be doomed in the long run.
Also, don't stress over it too much. If you two are meant to be, nothing you do will ever change that. Take your time, because if you two really are in love, then you will have lots of time together in the long run.
2006-12-07 06:42:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to take things day by day...as my mom always tells me..."love is choice"
you wake up everyday and choose who you like or love or dislike and when that day is over you wake up the next day and choose again...and the cycle repeats. I say if you can see yourself with this person in the future..then go for it. An old saying I like...."better to have love then not to have loved at all" and besides you only live once.
2006-12-07 06:43:52 · answer #9 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's willling to wait for you to be ready, then you have a very special guy. Take your time, make sure he is truly quality, and the rest will fall into place.
2006-12-07 06:41:39 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want this person to be be the first guy you date w/out it bieng a mistake then you need to commit. You just move foward and move at the pace you want too.. don't let him push you into something you don't want to do..
2006-12-07 06:42:42 · answer #11 · answered by Zombie gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋