I have lived with my boyfriend for about 8 months. We have been together a year and a half. The past couple of weeks he has not been interested in me physically. I asked him if it was someone else or if I was doing something that was making it hard for him to desire me. He said he was just bored with out "routine" and it is not exciting anymore. He said he would like to spice things up and get a book or something and try new things. I am all for that but I cannot help but feel like I did something wrong because I am not bored with our sex life and he is.
What am I missing here and what can I do to "spice things up" I treat him very well and I am not neglectful as far as I know.
2006-12-07 06:34:21 · 22 answers · asked by Gwen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My boyfriend and I have been having sex for over a year, I was wondering if it was too soon for him to lose because he is bored. Because we have only been together a little over a year I think there might be something else bothering him but he denies it.
2006-12-07 06:39:35 · update #1
Guys are like that; we enjoy variety. Anyway, you've done nothing wrong, so don't worry. To spice things up there are a ton of things you can try:
Buy a costume or a wig.
Surprise him sometime - don't have sex in your usual place or the usual time. Initiating sex yourself will also be good.
Try different positions.
Talk dirty to him (if you need ideas, try calling a phone sex line and asking them what they say).
Roleplay - pretend to be strangers and let him 'pick you up' at a bar, or be a naughty schoolgirl and a stern principal...lots of ideas.
Bring a sex toy into your play.
Try a sex game, such as 'strip chocolate' or some sex dice.
Tell each other your fantasies, or write them down on strips of paper and pull them from a hat (make sure you both get vetos!).
Have fun!
2006-12-07 06:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
guys get bored really easily. Imagine a young child with a new toy. They play with it for a week but then want another new toy when they get bored with the first. Spicing things up keeps his interest. Have sex in different locations. Be spontanious - come on to him in different locations at different times of the day. Guys do like it when a woman wants them and some guys don't like always having to initiate it. Also, don't be afraid to go without for a little while. Married couples go without for years. It makes the times you are together more memorible. (Friend of mine was having sex several times a week with his girl and kept saying it's no big deal. Sex is nothing. Then she moved out and within a week he was starved for it. As long as a guy can get it whenever he wants it, it's no big deal. When he isn't getting it enough however, he will crave it.) Just because he says he's not interested doesn't mean he's having an affair. He may even look at other women - this is not wrong so long as he's just looking. It just means he's not turned off to sex, only bored with the way you've been handling it.
2006-12-07 06:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by armus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, in pretty much even the best, most intense relationship guys are usually still sexually frustrated because their sex drive is so strong. But if he's openly saying it's boring, then that is a problem. If you think you could do more, then I'd suggest some of the following -- be "on top" more often (guys get bored with women always on bottom), and change the timing (why not a quickie or BJ before work?).
2006-12-07 06:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by Julian A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
puppy love is great but the only thing missing from his story is once a part a time. if someone is bored of you giving him booty is not going to help because then he dont care for you but he can have some pie and have someone else behind you. so what i want you to do is find yourself and find someone that will tell you i love you hold you and respect you for you and not put you on this b.s story if he is bored let him be people like that never change you will never keep him happy. you give him booty today and next week its something else so have peace love and be yourself to me you have already did enough for him and if he is not happy and feels he needs a book or flick to get him in the mood hey you are beautiful so find someone that will love you as-is ok you take care and enjoy the holidays
2006-12-07 06:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's just say I've been in that situation before. I was the guy, of course. It got tiring for me, it was routine and just turning into a work out. My gf didn't do anything wrong, if anything she was doing it right, she just wanted it a lot more than I did.
She started to get me to do stuff in public and that spiced it up a lot. Choose a different spot each time you two go for a session. Goto the movies, park, backyard, woods, kitchen table. Anywhere, be random and naughty.
2006-12-07 06:50:22 · answer #5 · answered by dreadxlove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I know I get the same way with my gf too. Not because I'm not physically attracted to her, but just because sometimes you need a break from it. As much as I like sex, sometimes my mind will just not be in the mood. Don't blame yourself. He'll be back soon and it will be really good when he does. The anticipation works wonders!!
2006-12-07 06:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by Isaac C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex Bf and i had the same problem. he also said he was bored with the same old things and i thought everything was OK. I am sure he is not with someone Else. Maybe you could "welcome" him home wearing something very sexy. crazy as it sounds, i read cosmo and that mag has really given me some great advice on what i can do to spice things up. good luck sweetie and remember..there is NOTHING wrong with you.
2006-12-07 06:40:20 · answer #7 · answered by carriec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he still interested in being "intellectual" with you ? Intellect and desire work together. You can't only share "physical" with someone for a year and a half. "Spicing up" won't work if there's not real love.
Ask yourself what you both share, what are you looking for in your relationship, etc.
Maybe I'm too romantic to think so?
2006-12-07 06:42:05 · answer #8 · answered by gentilhomme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you but sex does get boring with the same mate. Thats not to say the you both don't enjoy it but for a guy it gets boring. So, why not spice it up for him. Wear a wig, try sexy undies, be a slut for a night, godown on him when he least expects it, just spice it up!
2006-12-07 06:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he either has someone else, or all the hype of living together has died. Try new places, new positions, bring in a couple of porno movies... and if that doesn't work, then he is definitely into someone else.
2006-12-07 06:38:05 · answer #10 · answered by marisanj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋