I'm dating this guy. He's really sweet and we get along well. I want to keep seeing him. Here's what's bugging me. My friends have always been guys because I love sports. Now I'm afraid to spend time around guys that I like because somehow I feel guilty when I'm checking them out and thinking that they're cute and I'd like to get to know them better. I don't actually want to date other guys. But when I find one of them attractive I start feeling guilty. I'm afraid they won't want to be friends with me if I talk about my boyfriend all the time, although of course I try to mention him so that they know.
2006-12-07 06:24:48 · 15 answers · asked by pamgissa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What makes you think your boyfriend isn't doing the same thing? Checking out hot girls?
Attraction never goes away, it's what you choose to do with it that matters.
Be open and honest with your boyfriend about your feelings, it'll ease the guilt and as long as he's not insecure or threatened he'll see it as no big deal. It'll allow him to openly discuss his attractions.
Try to make it a new inside joke for you and him.
2006-12-07 06:28:54 · answer #1 · answered by simm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happens. Even after you are married, you find a lot more people who you think are cute and sweet. Don't feel guilty. It's part of life, and everyone will have to go through it. But don't cheat, because that jus ain't right. And when your boyfriend asks about your guy friends be truthful. I don't mean like screaming "THEY'RE SO HOT!" kind of truthful but if he asks what you did, just tell him. And also make sure that your boyfriend knows you love him more than any of them. I had to do that, and it worked well. If he starts freaking out and telling you that you can't see them any more, then its time to lay down a boundary and talk to him, because no one, absolutly NO ONE has the right to make do anything.
2006-12-07 06:36:11 · answer #2 · answered by Cutieful &. {♥} 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My fiance is the jealous type but I told him when we first started dating that I was a "Tomboy" and that most of my friends were guys. He loves me and we are in a very trusting relationship. I know he still feels jealous but I know he wont pick a fight over it because he trusts me. Having your BF meet your friends and hang out with all of you might work but if you do that, remember to pay a little more attention to him rather than your friends. It will put him at ease. Once he opens up and gets used to the Idea he should be fine. You should not feel guilty unless you do something worthy of feeling guilty. Have fun and just be open with your BF.
2006-12-07 06:31:42 · answer #3 · answered by Jamie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this..How would feel if your bf had nothing but female friends? Would you be comfortable with that especially if they are hotter than you? Just ask your bf how he feels about all your guy friends and tell him to be honest. The key is communication. If your guy friends don't want to be around you because of your bf then they aren't really your friends. You have to choose what is important, the friends or building the relationship. It's difficult because your friends will always be your friends and be there for you, but boyfriends come and go so you have to choose wisely. Hopefully, you all can find a medium with the relationships.
2006-12-07 06:35:18 · answer #4 · answered by KUZIKAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm, could it be that you're too young to have a boyfriend? I think so. You should see whoever you want and so should he, without getting feelings hurt. People should not get into monogamous relationships while they are young and still figuring out what they like. For what, to prove that they like you so much that they are willing to ignore the fact that they like other people too? That is ridiculous... do whatever you want though, you'll probably play boyfriend and girlfriend, which too often seems like "playing marriage." The only reason you feel guilty is because you have a "boyfriend" and of course you want to be a good girlfriend. Drop the whole bullshit of being committed and acting like you are married. Remain friends and get to know other people without feeling bad.
2006-12-07 06:35:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they were your friends before that relationship shouldn't change now just because you have a boyfriend. I am a little concerned about you checking out other guys and wanting to get to know them better though. It sound like maybe you really just want to be single and flirt with a lot of guys.
2006-12-07 06:30:19 · answer #6 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would your guy friends risk their relationships for you? True friends are rare and are hard to find. If your guy friends get bothered when you talk about your boyfriend then they are not your friends. Plus you are actually creating competition for your boyfriend without even knowing it. people get jealous even if they don't admit to it or show it. ask your self this question: Would you actually like it if your boyfriend hung around girls and found them attractive and wanted to get to know them better? if you're okay with that then you're not doing anything wrong but you are feeling guilty for a reason. quit worrying about what your friends think and do what benefits you and again if they are really your friends they will stick around. Right now, you're not being fair to yourself or more importantly fair to him. GET TO KNOW YOUR BOYFRIEND BETTER RATHER THAN YOUR FRIENDS.
2006-12-07 06:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about this, u think urself as a guy then when u hang out with them you won't guilty~!u felt that way because u r not confirm what u choose is the 'one' that's y u think that way the second possibility is that u r used to that kind of situation (many guy try to approach you ). u can be nice and friendly but pls pls pls don send wrong signal to the guys. that will save u alot of trouble.
2006-12-07 06:29:57 · answer #8 · answered by aeeyo1314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears like your guy pal truly likes you, yet extremely than make himself susceptible and in basic terms inform you as lots he might extremely techniques-set it with a semi-severe, popular question. regrettably it additionally appears like he nevertheless has extremely a typical boy ego in that he immediately thinks he's extra suitable for you than your contemporary beau, subsequently the staying power. He hopes that at some point you will supply him the respond he needs...which you're leaving your contemporary boyfriend to be with him. in basic terms be organization and tell him you care approximately him as a chum yet no longer something extra. he will the two get it or you will might desire to bypass your separate techniques in some unspecified time interior the destiny.
2016-10-14 05:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure you want a closed relationship with your boyfriend. to me it doesnt seem that you realy want stay in the relationship with your boyfriend since you cant even talk about him. try to find out wats more important to you. and its ok to look at other guys as long as you dont try and do anything with them.
2006-12-07 06:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by tina2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋