I think he might be drinking alone. He does not have a very good job and is strapped for cash. I worry that he needs help and I do not know how to approach him.
2006-12-07 06:14:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you don't confront him about it someone else will. And that someone will either be his employer or the cops. Drinking alone like that will only end badly for him if he doesn't stop. Your concern may fall on deaf ears - in fact you should expect it to - but that does not make it not worth saying. Keep saying it and keep saying it. It is doubtful he will pull himself out of the rut on his own. He needs your help whether he realizes it or not. If you don't who else will? He will not like you for it - he will get defensive and angry but it has to be done. There is a saying that an alcoholic will drink until it hurts him more to drink than it does to stop and I'm sure you don't want him to get to that point. Generally that means when the person has lost everything or has dire legal consequences hanging over their head. Good luck and stay strong.
2006-12-07 06:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A dirty home is not an indicator for alcoholism unless the uncleanliness is a new trend. If it were someone I would do some detective work before coming out and asking someone if they are an alcoholic (they will almost always tell you that they don't have a problem). I would offer to help him clean his home and decorate for the holidays, or offer to do it for him. Play the mom card! While cleaning, look for things like empty alcohol bottles, beer cans....if there are several then you can ask him if he had a party or if they were all his. If he refuses to let you clean and acts strange about it, then he may really be hiding something. Either way, you are going to have to sit down and tell him that you are worried about his uncharacteristic behavior. You should start by telling him that you love him and only want what's best for him, tell him that you want to help. Whatever you do, don't blame him, bring up past problems or fall into a pattern argument.
2006-12-07 14:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by aa_cooke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is a grown man. It is okay to be concerned about him if you feel he really does have a drinking problem but you will have to approach him carefully if you decide to confront him. Chances are he is not going to opt to get help unless he wants it for himself so even if you lecture him or tell him you are worried about him the alcohol will probably win out until he hits rock bottom. People with addictions to alcohol or drugs need to want the help and need to acknowledge they actually have a problem.
Good luck...
2006-12-07 14:32:51 · answer #3 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one..you will need to be up front and ask him if he drinks. However, if he is an alcoholic, you cannot get help for him unless he wants it. He has to recognize that he has a problem. You can suggest it and try to get him to attend meetings, but in the end he will do what he wants. I hope for the best for you..good luck.
2006-12-07 14:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is an alcoholic, he will probably deny that he has a drinking problem. He may suffer from depression. All you can really do is wait for him to hit bottom before he realizes he needs help. Hopefully, you will be there for him if/when that happens.
2006-12-07 14:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him now, and just come out and ask. That's what mom's do! Moms are supposed to be like that. If he says no, then tell him why you think he does. But you will need more proof than a messy home. My house is messy and I don't even drink. Im just a lazy woman. honestly.
2006-12-07 15:11:56 · answer #6 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men just don't know how to clean a house or want to for that matter. You are his mother, just tell him your concerns and ask him about the drinking.
2006-12-07 14:20:16 · answer #7 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him be, the only way you pull yourself out of a rut like the one you are describing is when you want to, not becuase your loved ones push you on it.
Thats not to say you cant discuss it with him but keep the offers of help minor right now.
I used to start the day with a vodka tonic laced with pepper so I could keep it down. My house was filthy and I was broke. When I pulled my head out of my rectum things got way better....
He will get sick and tired of being sick and tired...then he will take steps.
2006-12-07 14:18:31 · answer #8 · answered by Morgan W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's depressed because of his financial situation. Depression causes a lack of motivation. Ask him if he's going through something and if he wants to talk about it.
I don't want to be rude or anything but that is his house and if he don't want to keep it clean then thats him.
2006-12-07 14:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by gloried 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men are natural slobs. Our mothers clean fo us growing up and then our wives. We really never learn how to clean or are too lazt to do so. As for the drinking, some people drink because they are sad, lonely, or depressed.
2006-12-07 14:19:46 · answer #10 · answered by Your #1 fan 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋