Ok heres the deal, Ive sought therapy...Ive been on all sorts of medication for depression and PPD...nothing seems to work. I feel incapable of taking care of her the way I should. And no I have no family to take her or I wouldnt even be on here asking others for their opinions. I keep looking for the right medication to stop me from feeling this way....but obviously I havnt found it yet. Its not like I hate her, I miss her when shes gone and see how cute she is....I just cant deal with being a mother. I never gave her up cuz I felt it was the worse thing I could do and kept thinking that someday I'll be able to be a normal mother....
2006-12-07 06:07:54 · 29 answers · asked by kissmenow92302 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Talk to children services and see if a foster family can temporarily take your daughter in while you seek help. Also you can try to do family counseling with your daughter.
You admit right now you can't care for you daughter properly, that is a hard decision to make. Right now you have your daughters interest in heart and that is good. It is best that you give up your daughter before you do something you really regret.
I highly recommend looking into getting a foster family temporary custody so you can get your head on straight but not have to completely give up your daughter. Either way talk to Child Services and ask them what your options are.
2006-12-07 06:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you can do, if you're that desparte, is go get an psyhiactirc evaluation, and some professional advice on some serious treatment that will help aliviate the issue.
Once you have that, you can call social services and TEMPORARILY give up custody of your daughter to the state while you seek medical help for your condition.
Many times supervised visits can be set up for this sort of situation, So you can still see your daughter.
You will be monitored by a case worker, and once they have deemed you a fit parent again, they will release your daughter back to you, while still monitoring you and the situation for a while.
If you cannot be found a fit aprent after all that, they will keep your child in foster care, and have you seek the professional advice of a doctor again. If all else fails, you will be required to give up all parental rights, and the child will then be available for adoption.
once this happens, you will not longer have any right to contact, see, or otherwise interfere in your daughters life.
This is an extreme measure, but it will atleast give you the option of getting the help you need, and becoming the parent your child needs before giving her up completely.
2006-12-07 06:17:08 · answer #2 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try going to SRS and telling them your situation. If you explain you are having temporary issues, maybe they can provide temporary foster care for your child. I don't know the laws or anything, and the foster care system is overstressed, but I would rather see you make an effort to find a good place for her than to become more depressed and harm/neglect her or yourself. If you don't have an SRS close, try a large church, a hospital, or any type of mental health clinic. They can connect you with the proper links for adoption info and get you some counseling/ help to get you through this depression so maybe some day you and your little girl can have fun in this life together. There are brighter days out there.... just keep looking!
2006-12-07 06:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by missionhtg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The source of your depression may not be your child, perhaps you had a child too soon for you to accept it that you are a 'mother'. But that will pass and you will regret the day you really gave your child away. Look at her, she is so innocent, and so naive to anything that you are thinking of. She is a piece of you, of your own body, and your extension in life. She carries on, maybe much later you may not be in this world. I can understand that you are really upset, and the problem lies in you. You have to accept certain things in life, and rectify your condition now. Counsellor / psychiatrist, is the best before you think of medication. You are running away from your own problems. Sort your inner most deepest feelings, come to terms with what should be done next, and certainly what should be done next by YOU, and not the little one. Once this phase passes away, your heart would pain thinking of your daughter, and she who is your own, is not with you anymore. All mothers are not perfect, but nothing or no one can replace you. Someone said here that you the way you felt awful on having her, some day you would definitely regret for losing her. Thats human nature, law of nature or whatever you call it. It just is that way.
So what you can do to show some love to your child, and be normal is first accept that 'yes, i had a child too early for me to accept a responsibility of a child', next 'now that i have a child, I need to give her the best and give her everything i missed out on, she is mine, my own flesh and blood', and then next, meet a counsellor/psychiatrist, and discuss all issues, every little cruel things that you may be feeling now. There will be a solution, and its you who can solve this. Try it, and get going....and think of all the good times ahead, for your daughters sake, see her grow into a beautiful woman like you, and see her be the way you were not, and fill in whatever you may have missed out. Trust me, its worth a try.
good luck
2006-12-07 06:26:48 · answer #4 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your local Planned Parent Hood or Health and Human Services and maybe they can offer some councelling before you do this. If you do decide to give her up, maybe you can arrange some type of open adoption. Kudo's to you for thinking about her first! That makes you an awesome mother!
Lucy - you have no idea what you are talking about! I have a foster child who adores me and his parents know that we are going to adopt him, they love us for taking care of him because they know that they can't and never have! One bad situation with your "aunt" doesn't mean that every foster child situation is like that! Yes, I have known some foster children who were mistreated in my mind, but you don't know where these children have come from, you have no idea what there life was like before....! So, don't tell her not to do it because her daughter will HATE her..I think that if every parent thought the way she is, then there wouldn't be 5000+ kids just in the state that I Iive in being wards of the state!~
2006-12-07 06:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me guess, you feel tied down, you want a free life, you don't like to be depended on, you want to do what you want right? Is this the reason you feel the way you do? That is a sign of immaturity but I don't really know you so. One way or another you will have to grow up and understand no one will ever get everything they want. I am saddened for your daughter. However, I believe everyone has a free right to choose. So choose, give her up for adoption or don't just don't brood about it. Make a decision. Your daughter deserves at least a quick decision to give her a chance to adjust to a better life or a continuation of her current situation.
2006-12-07 07:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being such a selfish woman. PUll your head out of your *** and own up to your repsonsibility..stop your bellyaching and your whining and realize that you may not feel fit to be a mom but you are the best possible mother your child can have regardless of the way you feel..you probably only have five years left of the really hard bit then your child will be ten and practically a teenager you can do it, youve already done five. Please dont give up on her..she needs you and you need to figure that out and stop being so SELFISH.
2006-12-07 14:27:09 · answer #7 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'LL TAKE HER !
If her father does not want her, there is no family, and no friends that are interested please contact me, I would be very interested. I have raised 2 children and would be willing to give a full background check to reassure that I am capable and qualified to adopt your child.
I would suggest you give her up. First contact her father, even if he does not want her he will have to be willing to sign away his rights before she can be adopted. Also ask other family members: grandparents, aunts, and uncles that are fit to be a parent.
Please DO NOT ADOPT HER TO JUST ANYONE! There are some sick people out there, PLEASE becareful !
Good Luck and my God bless you and be with you both on this journey.
2006-12-07 07:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it takes a lot of courage to admit a child would be better off in another environment. There are lots of infertile couples out there who would LOVE to have a happy little 5 yr old to raise.
You do what you have to do, and don't let other people pressure you into what you know isn't right.
Best of luck to you with whatever you decide.
2006-12-07 06:16:36 · answer #9 · answered by Funchy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you and your daughter! I don't know what is best I think you need to ask for some professional advice and defiantly get your daughter into counseling. I am sure she can sense these feelings from you.Some people just don't understand mental illness and some people are just not the motherly type.I don't think anyone on here is going to give you the advice you need. I think you should ask someone who is qualified and can give real suggestions.
2006-12-07 06:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by Sheilah b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋