I have been married for 7 years. I am a Christian and I love the Lord with all of my heart. I know that homosexuality is wrong and I have never been with another woman. For the past couple of years I have really been feeling very curious about being with another woman. I fantasize about it and everything. I know it is wrong and I try to stop, but I feel like I can't. It's like an obssession. I do not think that I am gay because I feel very attracted to men also and I love my husband and love having relations with him and I have not told him about my attraction to other ladies. I just don't know what to do. I want to do the right thing, but this thing has gotten a hold of me and will not let me go!
2006-12-07 05:56:07 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Honey, satan has found your weakness. Every Christian has one, sometimes many. You've just met your twin in me. I had the same problem a few years ago, but over time with constant meditating on God's word and praying every single time I had a bad thought, I eventually "got over it." I would sit on my bed and just cry while reading the Bible. I begged for strength. I would literally scream at the devil, and finally, I just put my foot down. Every single moment when a thought popped into my brain, I would start praying. At first, I didn't think it was helping, but over time, I guess you could say that the devil got tired of seeing me rush for the Bible or hearing me cast the demons out of my house. If a non-believer had seen me, they would have thought I went off my rocker. I eventually beat it, with the help of God. Unfortunately, the devil doesn't give in completely. He'll find another weakness. Just keep your chin up. Talk to God every moment, even when you are doing the dishes. Thank him when you make it one hour without having a bad thought. He loves you and he wants you to be at peace, but you have to talk to him, show him how much you love him back. I believe God gets lonely too. That's why he created us. He'll help you. He helped me. Love and prayers.
2006-12-07 06:11:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, where did these feelings start? Can you figure out if there was something that triggered these feelings initially? Take it to Jesus and pray about it. The bible says to take every thought and make it captive to Christ, and also resist the devil and he will flee from you. Next time you are tempted to fantasize, start praising God and/or read the the Bible. Also remove anything in your life that could cause these feelings to start, books,magazines, TV and movies etc. Cultivate purity in your life and make sure you keep your sex life with your husband the best quality, not bringing fantasy etc into it, just focus on and enjoy each other. Appreciate him. There is a web site with help for Christians called setting captives free and it has a course you can do for several days that takes you over this sort of thing. All the best!!!
2006-12-07 14:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by Ma C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You write that you're also "very attracted to men," so I wonder whether you also fantasize about them? This is also wrong, since you are married and should keep yourself and your thoughts on your husband. A lustful eye is difficult, but not impossible, to control.
I know it sounds overly simplistic, but whenever you begin to have this fantasy, just ... stop. Remind yourself it's wrong and change whatever you're doing. If you're bored and zoning out into a fantasy world, occupy yourself with something productive. If you find yourself looking at women (or men) on the street, make it a point to stop looking at anyone.
Another thing I think you should do is tell your husband. He's your life partner and can help keep you accountable for your actions. If he sees you looking, he can nudge you or remind you in some other way that you're supposed to stop this behavior. If you absolutely cannot tell your husband, perhaps you can tell a close friend? I know that many, many Christians have gotten over various sinful behaviors by the use of "accountability partners," which may help you.
And don't forget to pray! Get God involved; ask Him to take this temptation away from you. Realize this is a temptation placed into your heart by Satan. Jesus taught us that we're to pray to God that He "lead us not into temptation." Yet, you're being tempted, so I'd say that there's something amiss in your relationship with God. Are you very close to Him? Do you pray throughout the day? God promises that, if we draw close to Him, He'll draw close to us.
I hope this helps. Peace.
2006-12-07 14:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by Suzanne: YPA 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The solution lies in how close you maintain your walk with the Lord. Read Romans 8 and see where victory lies. Remember that victory over sins like this comes one day at a time. You need to pray each day for the victory for that day. I would guess that something has happened in your past to cause this also, so you may need to do some searching. I would suggest that at this point you don't tell anyone about it, except the Lord. If that becomes necessary, then do it very caustiously, If you tell the wrong person, rumors can do so much dammage and affect the rest of your life. Anyway, just a few thoughts.
Romans 8:4 "so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, 8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
2006-12-07 14:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by oldguy63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound silly but it works for me, When I realize that satan has a hold of my thoughts I shake my foot and tell him "Let go of me I am a child of God" Then I take a moment to say a quick prayer for God to help me overcome whatever temptation is pulling me. If I get a picture in my head that shouldn't be there I imagine ripping it out like a page from a book and throwing it in the trash and them ask God to give me strength.
You are in a very dangerous time. Satan is tempting you. I know because I have been there. At one time my husband and I had discussed "swinging" with other couples. We both felt it was probably wrong but we were being tempted by "friends" and coworkers and we were seriously considering it. About that time a Jehovah's Witness was stopping regularly even though I was always short with her and never invited her in. I realized she was always showing up when we were discussing the possibility of swinging or when I was thinking about it. The thought crossed my mind that God was sending her. We decided we could not go through with it and never saw her again. If you can overcome this, satan will not tempt you in the same way again(although he will find new ways).
I don't pretend to know or understand anything about being born gay. But if you feel you are truly "straight" and are being tempted - RUN to God and ask Him to FIGHT for you.
2006-12-07 14:24:22 · answer #5 · answered by hazydaze 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't recommend that you go to your husband about this right away. Being a man and being attached could be a threat. I hope that your relationship is strong enough so he would treat you with love and respect if you did decide to talk to him about it, but for not I think you should talk to someone who is more likely to be able to relate. This is a great reason to belong to a woman's group at church. Do you belong to a caring women's group? Do you have a good strong Christian friend that you can go to for advice about this? How about a good female leader in the Church? I wouldn't recommend going to a man since he probably can't relate. Temptations like these are why we need strong healthy community involvement. I'm sure you know what they will say but just having someone listen should help you to overcome this temptation.
2006-12-07 14:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by SmartAlex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it could just be a fantasy that's getting out of control. Then again, everyone has a little of both in them, some act on it, others don't. I can't tell you what to do, but I am sure that if you feel you might be gay, and act on it, you will not be condemned,
I don't think of it as a sin, perversion is a sin, not sexual preference....now if you choose to be bi-sexual, I have to tell you, then you are having your cake and eating it too, and that is not
the right thing to do.Think very hard about this one, your life and your marriage is at stake here. Be happy and I hope you find yourself.God Bless.
2006-12-07 14:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait... you're on Yahoo! Answers, in the R&S section, and you're seeking answers from mature people?!?
ROTFL
Well, I'm not Christian, but I'll try to provide an answer for you. What you are feeling is very normal. Whether they care to admit it or not, most heterosexual people do feel inclined to experiment at one time or another (whether they choose to act on it or not is another matter).
However, the fact that you are Christian and married makes this tricky, as both circumstances prohibit your "indulging your fantasy," as it were. I would advise you to speak to a spiritual leader that you feel you can trust. They can help you find the appropriate prayers to guide you through this.
2006-12-07 14:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by whtknt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been given some good answers (not all by any means). Just adding a little. Is God wrong about what is best for you? You would be saying so to Him if you disobey Him. Will He then just let your marriage and family be a blessing to you? or a curse for your telling Him you don't believe Him and will not submit to Him. David sinned and the sword never left his family. We all are sinners and are naturally tempted to sin by our flesh. So go ahead and choose but remember you must answer to God. Will a moments fantasy be worth it? Are you greater than God? or wiser? or able to stand under His wrath?
2006-12-07 17:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by beek 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey i understand your troubles, some times it seems that praying is simply not enough to conquer a desire such as this. In fact praying is not enough. you have to talk to a pastor or Cristian counselor about this. It's the devils aim to destroy you and me. He uses tactics such as shame and guilt to keep you and i shut in with our troubles. cause he knows help is out there if we seek it you have taken the first step by posting on here seeking help. .the devil tells you no one will understand, he tells you it's your fault and all these other lies.Fact is some one will understand, and it's not your fault but you have to overcome this desire. Remember he the devil is the father of lies! Please go talk to some one you can trust. pray about it and ask the Lord to show you who to trust with this. You can't dwell on it or it will over take you. Don't let the devil win this one. there is victory in jesus you only have to seek it. He himself said seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened, ask and you will get. You can overcome but not alone. Let me sugest you see your pastor or counslor however if it is a male be sure there is a female in there with you at all times. Any self respecting pastor or counsleor will have a female in there with you any way. if he does not please tell him you need a female also to protect yourself from any thing that might arise. Not that any thing will just the devil has his sights on you he knows you have great potinal for the Glory of God
2006-12-07 14:30:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋