Would you let your children research and choose their religion?

Question

My mother's side of the family has a tradition that when the kids are mature enough, they research different religions at length and then choose to follow whichever one they find they believe in. This has culminated in a Catholic, a Buddhist, and one person of mixed beliefs in my parent's generation, and a Wiccan, an Atheist, and a Protestant in mine. My question is, does anyone else do this, or do you think it's a good idea?

Please don't preach at me, it won't change my beliefs. I just want honest answers to my actual question. I happen to think it's a great idea, but I'd love to know other people's opinions.

I enjoy this system because we've had many very interesting religious debates and it's definitely promoted tolerance between us.

thomaselvaeddison, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not...

deanr610, 'mature enough' is when we were old enough to understand and appreciate the differences between the religions. Illegal drugs and sex have NO bearing on this...I'm not even sure what you mean by the 'eat whatever they want' comment.

I'm thrilled to hear my family isn't the only one to do this. I've never actually come across any others who were raised with this choice.

I enjoy this system because we've had many very interesting religious debates and it's definitely promoted tolerance between us.

thomaselvaeddison, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not...


I'm thrilled to hear my family isn't the only one to do this. I've never actually come across any others who were raised with this choice.

Answer 1

Had I decided to have children I would have let them choose. Why, well I am a Buddhist, and as a Buddhist I am not expected to try to convert anyone. There are no rules in Buddhism that say I have to have children, or to teach them to become Buddhist.

Answer 2

Oh, most definitely. I wish more people did this instead of requiring their children to blindly follow their own faith like my family did. I literally had no choice when I was growing up, to the point where asking an innocent question as a young child about religion or the Bible was met not with calm answers that I could understand, but humiliation, ridicule, and outright punishment for questioning God.

As a result of being treated so harshly(among other things, the list of religious crap my family has so "lovingly" done to me is so long it's not even funny, this is just an example in a nutshell), not only am I now atheist(and yes, other non-family reasons are involved, also too numerous to list), but I swore that if I ever had children, I would never, EVER put them through the mental and emotional hell I went through in the name of "religion".

I swore that I would not baptize them and force them to believe as my family did, nor would I forbid them from learning about religion. I swore to myself that I would let them learn about every religion we could find good, honest information on, and then when they were old enough to understand and decide, that would be their choice. Yes, this includes Christianity.

I would also teach them to be tolerant and respectful of those who didn't share whatever faith they ended up with as my family was rarely respectful to me when I started looking elsewhere. My mother was about the only one who was decent to me when I was growing up when it came to religion. As a result, I'm very close to her, but rather estranged from the rest of my family on my father's side.

I wouldn't want that to happen to any kids I have, to have them messed up like I am and estranged from me because I was so harsh with them religiously. I'd want them to know they were loved no matter what religion they chose, that it's their choice to make, not mine.

It's a wonderful idea to let people just go their own way instead of forcing blind faith on them from infancy before they even KNOW what's going on and the seriousness of the decision being made for them. It's something I plan to do if I ever have kids, but unfortunately, I don't know of too many people who'd do this themselves. Not where I live anyways, but I plan to do it anyways.

Answer 3

I think its better to let everyone chose what they believe. My children will grow up learning about many different religions as I am interested in religion and discuss religion with them. My BF is wiccan, I dont have a religion but whatever they choose will be fine as long as they are happy.

Answer 4

As I converted after my children were born, they were taught both my old, and my new religion, to choose on their own.

I know of one family that is most interesting. They have five children, all grown with children of their own. One is a Buddhist, one is Amish, one is Jewish, one is a Muslim, and one followed the parents type of Christianity. No one scorns or mocks any of the many religions-all are accepted.

Answer 5

Yes.
Definitely.
And I really have done so.
In what way is the parent qualified to direct them?
Has the parent researched and studied and practiced all the religion and know that this is the best religion/
Can you recommend the best anti-oxidant or the best shares? What is your specialty? Please stick to it.
You do not want your children to blame you for the rest of their life for choosing something for them?
Why not choose the partner?

Answer 6

I'd have to say this: I want my son to choose the "religion" or beliefs that I have, however, I will always encourage him to understand and respect other religions and cultures, and I hope that I do my best as a parent to allow him to have an open and educated mind.

Answer 7

I was not encouraged or discouraged. I did come home when I was 16 and told them I was saved. They freaked out and sent me to talk to their Presbyterian minister. I guess they were afraid that I had become a fanatic fundamentalist. I wised up quickly.

I have encouraged my son to investigate and choose for himself. At the moment he is atheist. I believe in God, but I do not believe in religion and their fictitious books.

Answer 8

What I am doing is teaching my children with what I feel is the truth now, but when they are adults they are free to choose which direction they will want to go. I would hope that they stay the same, but if that is not in their heart, I am still their mom and will love them anyway.

Answer 9

i think this idea is amazing. honestly. i grew up mormon, and as i got older i started to wonder if i really believed all this. i felt my whole life that i grew up inside ofa box. one day i sat up and climbed out. i dont regret it. i wish my parents wouldnt have tried to make me believe something, that im not so sure about now. i wish they would have just taught me what was right, but let me go out and find and discover what i beleve on my own. now that i have stopped going to church and i am trying to figure it all out on my own. my parents get dissappointed and angry sometimes that i have fallen so far away.

i think its important to teach your children good values, and how to grow up living a respectful lifestyle, but it is not right to force relegion and beliefs upon them. you cant be forced to believe something, you need to find it on your own.

im twenty now, and trying to find what i believe is really hard. i grew up living a very stirct lifestyle, and one that i was not aloud to ever step foot outside of. im slowly figuring out little by little what i do believe, and the ways i want to follow.

i do personally believe in god. but i also believe that relegion should never matter. some say it tears families apart, but i think its just personal choice. you may not agree with everything someone else has chosen, but that does not change the person, that the individual is inside. its important to believe what you do believe based on your own research and findings. that makes someone an individual. believing what you were forced to believe only makes a clone.

Answer 10

As a rule my child goes to Church with me. I offer and instill beliefs I believe in. But as the mature if they choose they may change there religion. Since we all have the same god.