I am really at my wits end with my almost 4-year-old!!! She started preschool in the fall, and absolutely loved it. About six weeks ago tho, she suddenly decided that she doesn't want to go. She has become such a HUGE disruption at school, crying, having temper tantrums, not participating in any activities or playing with girls that were once great playmates for her. Her whole personality seems to be changing, she is becoming withdrawn and backward. To top it all off, two weeks ago, she suddenly starting wetting her pants almost on a daily basis now!!! I took her to the dr yesterday to make sure she doesn't have a urinary tract infection, which she does not. But I am sooooo confused and horribly frustrated with her! What do I do? Could she just not be ready for preschool? Help!!!
2006-12-07 04:54:13 · 17 answers · asked by Michelle 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Poor baby! Okay, my daughter went through alot of that too. I actually took her to a counselor. She had peer anxiety or social anxiety better known. What helped me, was I sat her down and asked her if anyone was mean to her in class. She said yes, and talked for a long time about these kids who were being snotty. I told her she can always talk to me and I brought it to attention to the teacher who had no clue. She talked with those kids, and I also helped her do fun activities for social skills at school. So here is my idea- sit and talk with her. Listen to all she has to say. there IS a reason. Maybe she misses you and she needs to know it is okay, and you will be back. Or maybe those girls have turned mean and rejection is such a hard thing to accept and learn. Maybe do what I did and since Christmas is coming up, find out when the school party is, and take your daughter to wal mart or a dollar store. have her pick out Christmas goody bags and stickers and candies, and then at home, fill them together so she can pass them out to her friends at the party. DO NOT let her stay home or quit. Although that would temporarily fix the situation, ultimatly they have to face these demons someday. Help her through it. I know it is hard. I cried for my daughter everyday she cried because it breaks your heart. Try to get as many people on your side at the school as well to help her re adjust. I will pray for you, and I hope it all works out. God bless the little one! Always let her know you love her and support her and She can do it! You can too mom! :)
2006-12-07 05:06:34 · answer #1 · answered by big mommasweeta 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The entire situation has to be evaluated from whether a new teacher has come into the picture? Are there any new staff at all, whether it be a new cook, director anybody. People around your child, no matter how small the amount of time they spend with your child, can affect them. Are the other kids picking on her? Has something at home changed? Children do not just start acting badly, something causes. I would talk with the teachers at her school. Also has anyone new come into your life, a new friend, neighbor, they could be affecting your child. Have a child draw a picture of their school and a picture of home, and then have them explain the picture, anyone they show in a negative way could be the person they are having problems with. I truly hope this helps!
2006-12-07 06:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not uncommon. Kids sometimes go through periods of regression. She should still go to school, but schedule some playdates with other kids from her class. Somthing may have happened that she cannot articulate--like maybe the other girls have formed a chique and are excluding her or something at school frightened her. Talk openly with her teachers about both of your observations. Maybe somehting about school doesn't sit right with her. What kind of a school is it? If it is a very academic preschool, maybe she would feel more at home in a play-based school, or vice versa.
2006-12-11 03:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by kwinkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) check the obvious, make sure everything is ok at school
2) if it is,then I have the following tips. My daughter went through something similar when she transitioned from the 2s room to the 3s room.
I would usually just quickly drop off my kids in the morning with a quick kiss, have a good day, hug and be out the door. But when my daughter started having trouble with the transition, I started hanging out with her and her classmates in the morning. I would come in and sit with them while they ate breakfast to show her that preschool is fun, even Mommy likes it! I would make conversation with the other kids and we'd have some real fun laughs! My daughter thought this was hilarious and so fun to have Mommy sit with her 3s class and have breakfast, make conversation, play and sing songs. I'd then help her in the potty, wash her hands and just basically make sure her day got off to a good start. I'd only stay for like 15 mins.
Gradually, each day, I'd stay less and less time (b/c I had to get to work, too!). Anyway, after about 1 month, she saw that the 3s room was fun and associated it with an extension of beign with mommy. Now she makes conversation in the morning and really enjoys going to her 3s room.
I'm starting to have similar troubles with my 20 month old so I foresee that I'll have to start this process with him soon, too!
Good luck!
2006-12-07 17:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by Falina T. Rayon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All good answersso far. Here's some more suggestions.
Over dinner, just start a conversation about the best part of her day and the worst part and go from there. Ask her to draw pictures about school and what she likes to do there. Give her more attention but don't make it seem like she's in charge, you don't want this to turn negative and give her all the control and make the problem worse. Talk to her matter-of-factly and try not to suggest things to her. Try talking at McDonald's or somewhere else totally non-threatening. If she wants to talk, let her, but if she doesn't, save it for another time. Don't push her.
Good luck
2006-12-07 10:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by renee l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter did the same thing and is actually doing it right now. Her teachers said that she is looking for the attention she once had before. Maybe in some ways the class has changed since her first day and she isn't adjusting to the difference yet. Ask her what it is that is bothering her and what makes her not want to attend school. If that isn't working just work with her and ask the doctor what you should do. Good luck I know how you feel!
2006-12-07 05:06:01 · answer #6 · answered by irish20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like something else is going on...there might be some child at preschool that is picking on her. She ,ight not be keeping up with the other kids and is afraid to go, or there might be a teacher or someone there that is abusing her. get an appointment to see the director right away and do not bring her with tht efirst time. Go to the doctor and have her checked for signs of abuse and if all fails, switch preschools.
2006-12-07 05:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by jachooz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there is a social problem more than a physical problem. My child went through something similar and it became apparent after really talking to him that there was some bullying. I know, bullying in preschool seems weird. But it was the case. After we spoke with the teacher, head of the school etc. The other child was kept at a distance from our child and he resumed his normal behavior.
Talk to your daughter about WHY? I am sure she asks you WHY? often enough, ask her. Chances are there is something causing this behavior whether she is being snubbed socially or is feeling overwhelmed!
I Hope THis Helps,
Amy
2006-12-07 05:01:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would it be possible for YOU to sit in the classroom with her so you can see for yourself what's going on???
Is there anyone or anything different going on in her life that has upset the balance? Is there disruption of some kind at home, and please, I am not implying that there is, I'm only trying to give you some ideas as to why she is acting this way.
Has someone at school done something to her? One of her classmates perhaps, even the teacher??
Maybe if you went with her and gave an hour of your time in the class room with her, you would maybe pick up on something that is going on.
2006-12-07 05:04:36 · answer #9 · answered by Doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds very unusual, try to find out if something traumatic has happened at school to make your child suddenly change, try changing her school and see if this makes a difference, children do not do things suddenly, and cause disruptions for no apparent reasons. There is something very wrong, and wetting herself is indicative of some kind of trauma to do with potty training or (and I don't want to alarm you) sexual contact. If you are good at figuring things out, then check things out yourself, or find someone to do it for you. I know it's frustrating to try and find out what the problems are but the child is more confused than you are at this point, and she needs your patience and assurance, that nothing bad will happen to her. If it is possible find someone in your city that counsels children to try and find out what is going on. Because SOMETHING IS!
2006-12-07 05:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋