Ex girlfriend seems to blame me new gf for taking her bf?

Question

Well I posted this before about me and my current bf. Our relationship started out on a lie. He hadnt told me that he had been seeing this other girl for nearly two years. 3 months into the relationship he finally confessed, but I decided to give him another chance. Later found out that 6 months later he still was seeing and sleeping with his ex. I also found out that she seems to blame me for taking advantage of his weak state. She and her friends believe I should have taken the higher road and left him alone while he sorts out himself. That obviously this is a man not ready to commit, and that he won't be any good to me because he's still confused and not wanting to admit that he doesnt believe in committment. What do you think? Should I have given the two of them a chance to work through the issues in their relationship. And if it wasnt meant to be, at least I would know he was coming back to me sure of his feelings and ready to settle down?

Better yet, should I have been more concerned about him and left him alone to just sort himself out. I don't know. I think he's a great guy. Very loving, very affectionate. And i think i will be better for him than his ex. Much closer in age. I have my own place. I have my life together. And I knew him longer because we were friends for years before all of this started up. But still it bothers me that we started this relationship off on a lie and that he has continued to lie and cheat. I'm beginning to wonder if she and her friends were right. I should have taken the high road when I had the chance. But then I also cheated on him by kissing another guy and he forgave me, so maybe we do love each other?

Answer 1

Ok, you are not at fault. It was aslo his decision to get in a relationship with you, you were not the only party. Leave him, he is not ready to commit and you do not deserve to get pulled in to his troubles so that he can put them off on you. Back off tell him its not worth your time. Why don't you spend what time you do have on earth with someone that wants to be with you and dedicate themselves to you.

Answer 2

I think you being so mean to her caused her to turn to this. believe it or not but THAT'S where the root of this all is. Not the other guy. YOU. Your anger. You being mean. She may have even felt defeated by what you did to her and played some games to feel alive again. I'd tell you it sounds broken beyond repair. But you want to follow your heart. Not your head. So I'll help you out. We just needed to identify the problem first. You drove her to where she's at. Alright. She wants you to move on? Do it. You don't really have to. Just pretend like you have. Try it for a week or so. It should bring her right back. if it doesn't. Fake you have a girl friend. Remember. She WILL come back but you have to change so you don't push her away this time.

Answer 3

Well hun, though you came into this an innocent party to the madness, you made several choices along the way. You chose to stay with a person who admitted to lying and cheating. having seen your previous post, also saw that you admitted to cheating on him too. Tit for tat. As for whether or not this relationship will work out for the best. It really does depend. Depends on what you want and are willing to put up with. Depends on him too. As somoeone said, a relationship that starts out on a lie very rarely works out for the best. Speaking from experience, I've known ppl in similar situations like you.

And though the woman eventually 'gets' the guy, she never truly has him. I'v known a couple who were together for more than 8 years, and in those 8 years, he has always been back and forth with the ex. He cheated on the ex with her, left the ex for her, but never gave up emotional and sexual ties wth the ex. And she put up with it. She had to endure holidays without him being there with her, or him being passed out by the ex's house. She even has to endure knowing that even when the ex moves out of state he is sure to follow, but hey to her, to the victor goes the spoils because he always comes back to her.

Now as to whether you want that for yourself, because it could easily escalate into something like that, then all powers to you. But always know you made the choice for yourself. So respect you, think about your best interests and not yours, and be able to live by the decisions you make. And not question it.

Answer 4

sweetheart leave him alone please. He is not good for you if he playing her an you then what that tell you . Also if he do change he gone do the same he did to her to you so leave him alone and move on with you life. But you might Love But let him go and be with her. You don't need an men running back to you and her at the same time and then ******* bout of you. Leave him alone. Now days these girls will kill the other females over there baby daddy,husband,boyfriend or anything leave him alone while you have an chance.

Answer 5

i think u should have finished it wen u found out hed been lieing 2 u, i know its easier said then done as u thought it was a one off and he would change. he seems 2 b unsure on wat he wants, and yea i think u should talk 2 him ask him wat he wants and give him the opertunity 2 sort things out with this bird. he obviously isnt happy with her hence the need 2 c u. n hopefully u leaving him 2 work things out with her will trigger the switch and help him c hu it is he wants and he will come askin 4 ur 4giveness, but it could also make him realise how much he loves this other bird. u played an innocent role in this as u didnt know he was seeing her so u shouldnt get the blame 4 it. she has no right n he deffinatly has no right 2 blame u, he may have blamed u just 2 keep her sweet but u never know he may not b worth ur time n effort. its ur choice wat u do hunny just b carefull n dont b over suspiciouse but bare in mind wat hes done as it may continue. i hope u sort it out and quick 2 stop ne 1 from gettin ne more hurt then needed.

Answer 6

GET RID OF HIM!!!! He lied behind your back for what, 9 months already? Dont give him another ****** chance. Be like, "if you liked ******* her so bad, why did you even BOTHER with me, you inconsiderate ***."

He will never be ready to settle down. He thinks he is a player and that is NOT cool. At least ***** him out before YOU dump him though. Ever heard of the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"?

Answer 7

Buddy,after wasting my time reading that crap,I'd like to tell your ex to RUN FOR HER LIFE!! She has obviously dodged a big bullet and should move on and forget all about the loser she had.That's you.
She should also take the new gf with her and save her from your
messed up head.You should be alone and just use your hand as your next gf ! God, do questions like this make alot of folks on here sick.

Answer 8

thats a humdinger, but from the sounds of things this boy has gotten a bit to big for his boots. if the relationship started on a lie then there is no point in carrying it on
im sorry, but it would be best for you to leave it alone
xxx

Answer 9

Sounds like he is not worth having starts with a lie ends with a lie. later.

Answer 10

It seems to me that your allowing yourself to be played on, so dont get upset when he suddenly tells you "he dont feel the same" cause that is coming next. He has had his cake and has eaten it too and soon he will be overstuffed so its not like you once he told you that you didnt know the deal. Its women like you that make our men losers.