What do you think about divorce? Does God want someone to stay in a terrible marriage that is going nowhere?

Question

My husband and I cannot get along. I have tried so hard. He doesn't believe in God and he hates that I go to church and that I am a Christian. It's not like I preach to him. I respect his beliefs and I think he should do the same for me. He used to hit me but he stopped doing that because he was put in jail for it. But he is all the time calling me names and saying I am worthless. I don't know how that is though because I work and clean and cook. He doesnt do anything. He works maybe 16 hours a week making minimum wage. He doesnt lift a finger for the house and he refuses to take care of our daughter. She is almost 2. When I am working and he is supposed to be watching her, he doesnt feed her and doesnt change her diaper. He is lazy. Why would God want me to stay in this marriage? I heard that God hates marriage. But I have prayed and done everything and nothing works. So what should I do then? I want us to be together but he doesnt try. How can I help him to grow up? Pray for us......

Right... I meant to say God hates divorce (not marriage)

Answer 1

In some cases, divorce can be a God-sent.

Answer 2

A few comments:
You have this modern approach to religion: The "cafeteria" approach. You want to pick what you like in it and leave what you dont like. Very common attitude. For many people, after a while htey realise that there is nothing to like and they drop the whole thing altogether. Probably the most honest thing to do.
For those lucku ones, it means that they finaly droped or were cured from the strange schyzoid mental disorder vastly encouraged of pretending that invisible beings are watching you, that middle eastern tales and legends are true, that life comes after death, that they hear voices etc... All these things are symptomatic of schyzophrenia. A common mental disorder.
One thing about religion is that it was designed in order to give control of the masses to a few people. One very efficient way is to say that all the things a normal human being would want to do are bad (so called sins). SInce people still do or want them, they feel guilty. The next trick is to say : Comme, I will rid you of your sins if you believe" Thats the trick.
You are now experincing it live: You want an probably need to divorce so you are caught in the guilt trip. You have to admit thet the schyzoid people that say they are "praying" for you do not help at all so you are begining to wonder if all that religious stuff is good for you. Of course it is not ! So just forget all that, get counselling and divorce and start enjoying your life down here, it is the only one that you are getting anyway.

Cheer up , you are on the way to the cure !

Answer 3

I don't think anyone should stay in a relationship where someone was abused regaurdless of what their religion says, your going to have people tell you differently I'm sure, but at the same time I don't think that your wrong for getting out of this relationship, he might go back to hitting you or worse. You really should get out of the marriage, I don't think that God would want anyone to stay with someone like that.

Please also remember that the Bible was written by MAN not by GOD..... I've been reading some answers and alot of them are giving you bible verses, but no one can honestly say with out a doubt what God would want you to do in this situation.

Answer 4

Toward the end, I think you meant to say "God hates divorce" not "marriage".
I would go for separation at most. Hitting you would certainly be a reason for separation. If he can be violent, don't leave him alone with your little girl. In fact, don't let him alone with your little girl in any case. Ever. There are even worse things that hitting. and if he is idle, then idleness often leads to other vices.
Do you want your girl to reproach you 20 years from now: "You didn't protect me, and now my life is a broken mess"?
Infidelity is a Biblical reason for divorce. Other things can be a reason for separation. God approved Hagar leaving Abraham, because Sara was mistreating her. - Yes, a more complicated situation, but still - there can be a time to leave.

Answer 5

Difference between God and Jesus.

Jews have always been allowed to have divorce. It's in the Old Testiment.

Jesus said except for adultery you can't put a spouse aside. Divorce is implied to mean re-marraige. If you don't remarry and you provide spousal support you are probably keeping to the rules of Jesus.

The rules Jesus said were also based on long ago times when it was difficult if not impossible for a woman alone to survive.

Jesus ALSO expected ALL good CHRISTIANS to apply his RULES of God and living to work things out.

Answer 6

I think it comes down to your view of God. I believe that god is a loving Father who wants his children to be happy and return to live with him. I believe that there are frivolous reasons why people divorce and that our Father is not happy when we don't work at our marriages. I don't think that he wants us to be in a situation where we are being treated badly. Nobody has the right to hit you aor say mean things to you. God never intended for men to treat their wives this way. He always intended that women be treated with dignity and respect.

God gave us all Agency, we can decide for ourselves. This is one of those times when you really need to sit and contemplate your situation. Really look at it, advise with your clergy or a good counselor. Really look at the situation and pray about it. Stop praying that it will get better, pray that you will know what to do and that you will be inspired as the best way to handle your situation. Pray fot guidance and inspiration. When you do this your prayers will be answered. Then keep a clear mind, I know how tough that can be in your situation. But keep your mind open to hear what your answer is.

I have always been taught that faith without works is dead. You can't just pray and expect an answer. Pray for Guidance, then really asses your situation. Sit down and put it to paper if you have to. Find somewhere quiet. Maybe find a sensible person to confide in. Really look at your situation. Decide if it will get any better if you stay married. What are the effects of you staying in this situation, what are the affects of ending the marriage.? What affect will it have on your daughter? Do you want her to grow up thinking that is how men should treat women? Think about the hard questions. Let the lord guide you to the answers. When I was making the decision to end my marriage, I prayed alot. Finally this question came into my head- "was I more afraid of being a divorcee and the stigma that came with it and being single again, or was I more afraid of no longer being married, breaking those covenants which I had made when I got married?

I finally decided to end my marriage and I am happier now. Of course, I did not have abuse to deal with, I had addictions. But After I made the decision, I felt at peace with it. I felt that I had made the right decision and that though the Lord was not happy to see another family broken up, that I had made the right decision and that he was okay with that. I felt that he knew that there was no other way and that I had done everything I could to make things work.

Then I became more commited to getting the things I wanted out of life and making this a simple bump in the road. I don't have children, so that has made it easier for me to move on. I only date people of the same faith as me, and I will only marry someone with the same commitment to that faith. I will marry someone with the same values and goals and desires. I am more commited now than I ever was to that goal.

If you decide to do this, it will be rough for a while. You will feel real out of place for a long time. Just keep ppushing a long do your best for you and your daughter, stay close to your faith and to the Lord, even when it seems hard to. Just do it. Then one day you will realize that you are comfortable with your situation. And you will know that everything will be alright. Also make sure that you don't start dating again until you are comfortable being single again. The worst thing you can do is get into a relationship out of lonliness, because most likely you will be in the same situation you are in now.

I believe that if you talk discuss your problem with the Lord and follow his guidance and do what you believe is best for you and your daughter, that the Lord will be pleased with you. He will be even more pleased with you when you become a strong women and no longer allow people to treat you badly, When you take control of your own life.

Answer 7

Wow. It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. I think, at this point, that the health and sanity of yourself and your daughter should be your number one concern. Not your marriage. My stand on divorce is that everything can be worked out, except for drug addiction and murder. But, since your husband has done none of these things, I'm thinking of revising my theory. My advice to you is to talk to him, unless you think that your health will be in danger. In that case, you should just get out and go somewhere safe. Please think of your child and yourself during this time. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Read 1 Corinthians 7: But mainly 7; 10 through15.Pray and God will help you make the right decision for you and your family.I`ve prayed for you as I know that others have or will too.God Bless.

Answer 9

Please be assured of my prayers.
Jesus taught about divorce, but he said nothing on separation. God desires your happiness and that of your daughter. He wants you to be healthy spiritually, emotionally and physically. If this man is undermining that, that he is undermining God's plan in your life. Recall that St. Paul talks about the importance of spouses being equally yolked and the legitimacy of leaving someone who takes you away from God. Read and pray about what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7--note how he distinguishes between divorce and separation. I know God will lead you in right direction. Don't forget to invite into the decision-making and into your life!
God bless you all! You will be in my prayers!

Answer 10

This is the verse God has written for someone in your position...

1 Peter 3:1-2
1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

I will pray for you right now- we all struggle in our marriages- and I know we all need prayer! Do you have that book "The Power of a Praying Wife?"

Answer 11

According to the bible, he is against divorce.

So I guess if you believe that homosexuality is an abomination than you can also live by all else in the bible. Right? Or do you get to pick and choose which ever scripture fits you at the time.

Good luck.