I am involved with a recently divorced man. I love him so much and I don't want to loose him. It's just that he can't seem to let go of his ex-wife. He is always talking about her and how she hurt him. When he does this it makes me feel like I am not important. He tells me I am not a rebound and that he see's a future with me. He's always telling me he loves me. I figure if he loves me he would move on and build our relationship. Am I stupid Is this just a lost cause ? I love him to death but I'm tired of hearing about his ex all of the time and me being put on the back burner.
2006-12-07 04:38:12 · 10 answers · asked by shayly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're his rebound woman. When he recovers from his recent divorce, most likely he'll be ready to move on and start fresh with someone new. You've been his personal therapist and while he'll probably be grateful, eventually he'll want to be free of you because you will be forever associated with that "bad time" he went through. Recently divorced men are NEVER good choices.
2006-12-07 04:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a bad sign, which I'm sure you already know. Listen to your gut because if someone is making you feel unimportant and you're concerned about his ex...that's probably not going to change.
He is definitely needing time to get over his last relationship and so you will probably never be more than someone he complains to and uses for his own needs.
You're not stupid, but you deserve better than that, don't you agree?!
Tell him to call you when he's REALLY ready to move on and he can prove it by his actions. He may say he is, but by the things you say he does, he is nowhere near being ready for a new relationship.
2006-12-07 12:43:21 · answer #2 · answered by atxtallchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough, i can see where the guy is coming from. When this happen to me i realized that this was the woman that i gave my heart too, i gave everything i had, physically and emotionally. Im still not over it, but i am still living. Yes i have found a great woman that i love and want to spend the rest of my life with, but nothing will replace my first true love. all that to say....maybe a little space would help. You dont have let go of him, but make sure that he is ready to move to the next step. take it from there, good luck.
2006-12-07 12:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by walkerschool101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's still hurting from the past relationship, and it's too soon for him to move on (even tho HE THINKS HE'S READY). You can either hang in there and try to be supportive..or leave the relationship. Eihter way...this guy is not ready to be building anything with anyone at this point in time
2006-12-07 12:45:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk it out with him let him know how you feel and how he is hurting your feelings and if he really loves you he will make an obvious effort to put the past in the past where it belongs
2006-12-07 12:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by sexyandsingle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your right. If he really loved you then that in itself would help his hurt. The fact that he still talks about it to you is a red flag.
2006-12-07 12:46:52 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you can tell him how much it bothers you..
but my guess is eventually his hurt will go away.. and he'll stop talking about it so much.. you just have to wait it out.. especially if he's recently divorced yah know
time heals all wounds
2006-12-07 12:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by steph 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has serious emotional baggage. if she were to come back in his life, would he be with her? ask him and him to be very honest. if the answer is yes then you know what to do. in a relationship you should be "number 1" not a "maybe number 2"
2006-12-07 12:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him that you do not want to hear about your ex and it may be hard for him but he needs t o get over her if he wants to be with you, explaiun that you are not going to hurt him but it upsets you when he talks about her.... his is with you now so he needs to act like it....
2006-12-07 12:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not over her yet. How can he love you, if he loves her?
2006-12-07 12:43:25 · answer #10 · answered by Mintygoodness1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋