I dread Christmas with my family. How do I deal with a much-hated sister-n-law?

Question

I've worked on Christmas day in the past just to avoid having to socialize with them. But I'm "stuck" this time. My sister-n-law is a pretentious, snobby brat with 2 sheltered, bratty children. And she wants to come in my house and sit on my couch and push my dog away, saying "I am not a dog person." Well, I'm not a "you" person, so get the h*ll off my couch", is what I should have said. I need some clever advice on how to "get her goat" so to speak.

I don't know why I said sister-n-law. She is my nephew's wife. Me and him are the same age and were like siblings at one time, I guess that is why I was thinking sister-n-law. Also I neglected to say, I'm divorced and live with my elderly mother. So inviting her is not my idea anyway.

Answer 1

Kill 'emm with kindness. Be sugary sweet to her the whole entire time...she will be VERY uncomfortable!!

Merry Christamas!

Answer 2

I think I'd arrange a meeting with your husband, his brother, your sister-in-law, and yourself to sit down and discuss the tension between you two. Maybe she thought you had insulted her when you hadn't meant to. Since she is now family, work it out like you would with any other member of the family. Just be prepared for some negativity from her. Don't react to what she says with hostility, anger, or hurt. Try to face what she says objectively and logically and try to work things out. Let your husband know right from the start that he is there only to make sure you don't lose your cool. He needs to understand that no matter what your sister-in-law says, he is not to intervene to protect you. (Hopefully your brother-in-law will honor the same rules) That would just cause more tension within his family. The last thing you want to do is start a family feud! Good luck!

Answer 3

Is this your husbands sister or your brothers wife? If it is your husbands sister did she always get on your nerve??I would lock the dog up and put make everything nice. Try not to get stuck in the room with her by your self. I have a problem with telling people how I feel about them. If she is disrespectful in your house let her know. You can also try and talk to her about your problems. But if she is anything like a ex friend of mine she will laugh in your face. Think about what makes you hate her so badly. Then think about could it just be me. Could I wish I had her life or something. Not saying that you do but try to use reverse psychology. Hope your Christmas wont be to bad.

Answer 4

I don't like my sister in law either, but every time I HAVE to be around her, which is not often, might I add, I am just super nice to her. Be the bigger person and maybe she will see what an A** she is making of herself. It's one night of the year, and it's Xmas, so just try to make the best of it! If not, sit down and tell ur husbaand how u feel, and maybe he can have a talk with her and tell her tone it down. Good luck!

Answer 5

I love the way people are just telling you to get over it. Yeah right. There are some people in this world that make it almost impossible to get along with. My brothers girlfriend is the same way. Just a snooty B****. I have learned just to ignore her. But there are those times (Almost Always) that she'll say something just to get under my skin and I'll let her know what the hell I think of that. My advice though is just one day put up with her. After all thats what jesus would want.

Answer 6

I fell your pain!! lol!! I am not sure how to deal with her, but when it comesto her children, let them know the rules the second they arrive. If they talk back, firmly tell them that kind of behavior is not tolerated in your home. If they get into things, give them one warning (nicely) like, "that is not a toy honey, please put it away" and if the behavior continues tell the mother that it is getting out of hand, and ask her to tell them. Also, let your kids know that they will not be getting away with misbehavior, and you expect them to be a good example. If her kids are doing something, your kids can even say, "our mom does not allow that" Good luck! Stand your ground, and do not allow her to disrespect you in your home.

Answer 7

I have the SAME problem and after dealing with it for 14 years it does get old, but think of it this way you onlyhave to deal w/ her a couple times a yr, so to keep peace in the family, kill her w/ kindness! even if she says something b*tchy just smile :) It will be over soon! Good Luck!!

Answer 8

well, first of all, just because she wants to come to your house, doesnt mean you have to invite her,,,,,,,,if you decide to,,,, make the time limited,,, say a couple of specific hours, just say you have other plans during the day,,,,, people can only annoy you to the extent you let them,,,,,, and socialize with them,,, and even on major family events, holidays, funerals etc you can limit your contact to just a few hours , especially if its in your own home..... i know this isnt exactly what you asked, the "get her goat" so to speak, but from my expeirence its best, i have 3 sister -in-laws whom i really dont care for,,, due to their behavior/attitudes

Answer 9

Well thank god it's a once a year thing! She's part of the family so you can't always avoid her. Find a solution that you can bear with her for a day. Hey, maybe chewing some gums might help :D

Answer 10

I agree that it's only one day out of the whole year. Instead of getting angry, see the comedy in what a knucklehead she must be. Gather up lots of funny stories and tell your friends the next day. It's how I deal with frustrating situations.