Women. Would you let your teen age daughter sleep with her boyfreind in your house?

Question

I've tried to fight it, it doesnt work. I know they are haveing sex. How bad is this?

Answer 1

No. I would not under any circumstances allow it. Her father and I would drag her underage butt to the gyno for a preggers test and a full STD check. I have a feeling you'll be called Granny soon.

Answer 2

OK, in Holland, and Germany, some people let their children (who are going steady with one partner), sleep over. And they have lower teen pregnancy rates than we do. But it's also important that you're comfortable with what's going on under your roof. Parents are the people in charge. At the end of the day, your daughter wants your respect and she's been raised in your home, with your values. So if the two of them are slinking around, she probably feels a lot of guilt. Maybe you might feel better if you know they're at home and following your rules in those ways: this is how those European parents feel, for example. But if you're not okay with it, that's totally valid.

Sometimes if the genie has already been let out, it may cause more trouble to crack down and crack down hard. Is she the type of child who would rebel more if you told her to stop, or do you think she'd feel relieved to have that limitation back? At sixteen, my bet is the former - she might act out if you try to rein her in sharply. But for all you know, she may have mixed/ambivalent feelings and appreciate the opportunity to step back from this intense relationship.

I would have a talk with her first and foremost and try and let her know what your concerns are. Not the kind of talk where there's blame and pointing figures, but where you - the older, wiser, experienced person - talk about why you have concerns. If she's having sex, she has to be careful, she has to know about the diseases you can catch and about having a child. She needs to use birth control, she needs to be aware of STDs. She needs to start getting pap smears, ob/gyn stuff regularly, and being careful about her partners.

You could tell her that you understand she wants to become sexually active, and that you know that she could find a way to "get away and go do it", but that you have really solid concerns that she needs to hear out. She might decide to cool it, or maybe she'll keep going. But if you talk to her, she might think twice about who she's interacting with and be more careful.

Answer 3

(Not a woman, sorry)

That's pretty rough. I certainly wouldn't be happy if my daughter were doing that, but I see a lot of pitfalls. If she's really determined, giving a complete ban could mean losing her, and you don't want your life to be one of searching her room and changing the locks...so I'd suggest an alternative: if you think they're having sex, open their door and throw a bucket of cold water on them.

Hey, it works for cats, and the embarrassment of having your Mom see you both naked may just do it.

You could also talk to her about sex and respect and take a moderate line - tell her that you can't control whether she has sex or not, but she should respect your rules by not having sex in your home.

Answer 4

Hmmm... I graduated 6 months early from high school to start college. So I was IN college by the time I was 17. I had a serious boyfriend who got kicked out of his house, and at 17 my parents let him move in. So.... I kinda figure as long as everything else in her life is going along ok, such as grades, and her job, then this isnt really that bad. AS LONG AS she is being protected and having SAFE sex and is on birth control. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

In an ideal world, teenage daughters wouldn't be having sex and everyone would float around on clouds eating chocolate without getting fat.
talk to her, treat her with respect, make sure they are being careful. At least if she is under your roof you know she is safe.

Answer 6

My parents have always let our boyfriends/girlfriends spend the night. (I have two sisters and one brother) Both of my parents are Christians, read their Bible everyday, go to church 3 times a week, you have to trust your kids...as hard as it is. if you try to keep them from doing things, they are going to find a way to do it out of spite. good luck
by the way, I'm 21 yrs old, have a 22yr old brother, 18yr old sister, and a 26 yrs old sister. we weren't having sex though, if you know your daughter is having sex maybe you should sit her down and have a serious talk with her about sex, stds,pregnancy.
good luck!

Answer 7

Knowing that they are doing it, and allowing them to in your house are two totally different things. You need to think, how would you react if she got pregnant? If there is even a slight chance that you would get angry, then you can't allow it in your house. You would have no one to blame but yourself. You need to sit down and make sure she is using all the precautions, but don't back down. She is too young to be having sex in her parent's house. good luck

Answer 8

No way I'm a mother and I think that you should try and make sure you know where she is at all times and stop them they are to young to make those kind of decisions she could end up pregnant and he is not old enough to be responsible for that child

Answer 9

i have a daughter and i would rather her have sex at my house than out some where she doesnt even know. i would like her to be in my house where it is clean than out in the filth. i trust my daughter to mess things up without letting her do that in my house. but if she gets prgnate than she knows ahe is out of my house for good

Answer 10

VERY BAD!! Kids need parents not friends at this age. I went from a parent who let me do anything I wanted to a parent who was on my *** all the time, and let me tell you I thank God everyday for the one on my *** b/c it was that hard work and perseverance that kept me together and surprisingly showed me that someone actually cared about me. Teenagers need guidance too! They're not adults yet. When she gets pregnant, who do you think is going to be taking care of the baby? YOU! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE grow a backbone and put a stop to this NOW for the sake of your daughter's life, happiness, and innocence.