2006-12-07 04:22:58 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Because he is an asshole.
2006-12-07 04:24:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
We have a little code phrase in our family that means "hey don't take it out on me." At a non-frustration time, talk to your BF about what he is doing. He might not even realize it. And then let him know that when he starts to do it, you are going to say "not my issue" and turn around and walk away - leave the room, get out of the car or whatever. Perhaps buy him a punching bag or running shoes or devise some other way to get his frustration out of the way.
Obviously as the closest place he can get "unconditional love" he is forgetting that he cannot use you as a verbal punching bag.
Yes he is immature - got to assume this is not physical abuse, just hollering . . . but if you love him you can help him get over this. If he doesn't change, he's not a good prospect for the long term.
2006-12-07 12:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is doing transference. that is he is transferring his emotions of anger out on you. instead of going to the person that made him angry and hashing it out with that person, he is choosing, notice i said he is choosing to take it out on you. in another words making you his whipping stick. relationships like that can sometimes turn abusive you know. i assume that you have tried to talk this out with your boyfriend. he probably changes his behavior then starts back up again. he is emotionally abusing you. i dont think it is a good idea to stay in that relationship. this is almost learned behavior, that is he has watched someone when he was growing up do the same thing to a female in the family. you dont say your age, but i think that you can do better. relationships are hard work anyway without the stress of having someone putting you dow, making cutting remarks and acting nasty towards you when you are already trying to deal with the stressors of just living an agape life. think about this. do you treat him that way? do you treat anyone that way? the answer i am sure you will say is no. so dont hang around someone that treats you this way. re read your question you specifically said that he "takes his pain out on me" okay. the reason why he does that is because he is too much of a coward to confront the person that he is angry with, and it is much easier to take it out on you becaue you wont do anything. i hope i have helped you. Peace
2006-12-07 12:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by PhatBeatz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he's insecure. Instead of confronting the problem like a man he takes it out on something that he thinks he has control over.
2006-12-07 12:25:30 · answer #4 · answered by FC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude, but I think you should be asking yourself why are you still with him. Anyone who loves you will not take their anger out on you. It doesnt matter what bs excuses he has, I think you should leave. Easier said than done, I know. But I know what I am talkng about when I say it will get worse with time. Good luck.
2006-12-07 12:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you're safe - if he took out his pain on someone else, they might hit him, yell at him, take away his allowance, whatever. If he takes out his pain on you, he gets away with it. You're safe.
Solution? Don't let him. Get upset. Don't give him sympathy. Get up and leave. If you want it to stop.
2006-12-07 12:25:26 · answer #6 · answered by Dilettante 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People only do what you allow. Next time he is butt-hurt because of someone else, leave him standing there until he grows up, which may be never.
2006-12-07 12:29:49 · answer #7 · answered by BionicNahlege 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He feels insecure and was probably raised in a household that did what he is doing. Everytime his dad got mad, he would probably take it out on his mom.
2006-12-07 12:24:52 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because you let him. Make him understand that his behavior is unacceptable and you will not be around to take that so he better get a better grip on his emotions.
2006-12-07 12:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody "makes" him mad, he chooses to get angry...and he takes it out on you because you allow it.
Stop allowing it. He'll either direct it elsewhere, or you can direct your life path away from him.
2006-12-07 12:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is abusive. Get rid of him and find someone worth your time. I woudn't put up with that for one second.
2006-12-07 12:26:48 · answer #11 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋