I don't spank my children. I feel them well. I volunteer at their school. I take good care of them. But I feel I can be better...what about you?
2006-12-07 04:19:01 · 18 answers · asked by Smiles 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Take it from a mom whose sons are now grown, you never feel as if you're doing enough.
I raised my boys alone, going to school and working any sort of honest jobs I could get. I often felt that I was somehow mortgaging their childhoods in an attempt to make life better for them. It was an event to go out for fast food, and a lot of our leisure time was spent going to the library, street festivals, museums that were free--that sort of thing. My older son is developmentally disabled, so he didn't miss not having the sorts of things his younger brother wanted, but I know it was hard on the smaller one.
Well, the "boys" are now 30 and 24. The older lives in a group home in our area and comes home on average of once a month. The younger one is a sergeant in the Army stationed at Fort Bragg with two tours in Iraq under his belt and a home of his own that he purchased two years ago.
Recently my ounger son and I were talking, and I apologized for his kind of bleak childhood. He looked at me in honest surprise and answered, "Mom--it was tough, but you know something? It made me strong."
He and his brother have both grown into fine young men, honest, loving, and responsible.
So, don't sweat the small stuff. You're doing fine--and I wish you and your children the kind of relationship in adulthood that I enjoy with my sons.
2006-12-07 04:38:55 · answer #1 · answered by Chrispy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. I always feel I am the best mother my children can have. I am their mother first, then I am their friend. As long as you give love and show love to your children and You know in your heart that you are doing the best you can with and for them don't ever second guess yourself. I Realize My Children Could Have A Whole Lot Worse Than Me. So Don't Dwell on What you think you can do better and just do your best.
2006-12-07 15:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by Ja'Licious 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a wonderful mother. I guess always trying to be a better mother comes with the territory. I never feel like I'm doing EVERYTHING I can... but I also know it would be impossible. I had a conversation with my mom about this when my son was first born; I was trying to do everything. She sat me down and told me something I'll never forget about taking care of yourself and not overdoing it. She said, "There's a reason they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first." That's all she had to say. If you're taking care of yourself and loving your kids the best you can, then you're doing exactly what you should.
Have a nice day - and Merry Christmas, too.
2006-12-07 12:28:35 · answer #3 · answered by Angela J 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of course. I don't think I know any mother who feels like she is the best. Everyone can improve and everyone has little quirks they inadvertently pass on to their children and wish they hadn't. It's normal. I still love being a mom though, even on days when I feel less than adequate. I think it's good to be aware we aren't the best so we can constantly try to do better.
2006-12-07 12:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by Steph 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel like that about once a day. I blame T.V shows of the past. Characters like June Clever. Compare yourself to Rosanne Connor from Rosanne, that will make you feel better. Seriously, maybe what you feel is that "you" can be better as in seperate from being a mom. When is the last time you did something that was only about you? Something where you get credit for being you, not wife, not mom, not daughter, or sister.
2006-12-07 12:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, my son loves his mimi so much, it's because she gives him everything. I don't and I feel great that I tell him that he can't have any. i wish that I could read a lot of book and both of my children would scream for me to do so. i wish that there were more free activies to do with children instead of paying 15 dollars for 30 mins for my kids to jump in a ball pit. I wish that I could cook them better meals, but my husband limits the cooking to the basic needs. He's country and I'm spanish, so that doesn't work out a lot. I wish that I could get away from the computer and play with the kids all day.
2006-12-07 12:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I belive and feel 90% of the time i am a great mother to my 2 children, there are those days when there is need of MUCH improvement on my part. Your doing wonderful. Kepp up the good work!
2006-12-07 12:24:24 · answer #7 · answered by treecesherry 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of course! I feel bad when I lose patience with my child. I don't spank either, but raising my voice can be just as bad I think. I feel bad because I know I'm not putting as much effort into it as I could be. Like you, my daughter has a nice home, nice, clean clothes, plenty of food, and enough to keep her occupied. But there are always things I feel I could improve on.
2006-12-07 12:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Every single day, I question what I could be doing better for my children. Then I remember that no one in the world loves my children as much as I do, and I know that they know that. That's the best we can do. If you love them with your whole heart, then you're doing the best you need to be.
2006-12-07 12:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by Robin 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I feel that way sometimes. Like on a day when I'm not feeling well & resting, I'll put a movie on for my 5yr old & then I'll look out the window and see a mom taking a walk with her kids. I'll think, "I should be doing that rather than resting." But, then again, I'm 35 weeks pregnant too.
2006-12-07 12:23:20 · answer #10 · answered by Red 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋