How do I get my boyfriend to see that his "sister in law" is a 2 faced back stabbing "B"?

Question

My boyfriend’s twin and his child’s mother live next door. This female constantly calls my fiancée with issues that she should be discussing with her mate but she doesn’t. She will then talk about my fiancée behind his back to his brother and other people. She’s done this in front of me several times. My fiancée feels sorry for her because her family is dysfunctional so he’s taken her under his wing but she’s causing a lot of problems. She walks around trying to act tough and she tries to talk tough. She’s even approached me several times trying to get me to believe my fiancée is cheating on me. However if he was why would she tell me? She’s always telling me that the only female that he’s never cheated on and she made sure of it was one of her friends who he dated many years ago. I’m trying to figure out what her problem is with us being together. How do I expose her to him so he sees she's a back stabbing "B"?

First of all let me clear something up, my fiancee hasn't cheated on me. This is what she's telling me. By her own submission she admitted she made it up. She's asked me do I have a brother that she can cheat with because I treat my man so damn well. Also yes my boyfriend is a twin but him and his brother are far from close. They've had restraining orders against one another over stuff she's said or done and this came from her man not mine.

Answer 1

I'd talk to your man. He's obviously with you for a reason... you should be able to discuss things with him privately. Don't "accuse" her of anything. Just tell him, that you don't feel completely comfortable around her. When he asks why, tell him. Tell him that she's told you outright that he's cheated on you. Remind him though, that you don't believe her.
The best policy is honesty...but at the same time, don't do it in a way that will make him feel like he has to choose between the two of you. Make him aware of the problems, but don't give him any kind of ultimatum.
Eventually, he'll see her for who she is.

Another quick point... don't let her get to you.. it sounds like, this is what she wants. She sounds like a drama queen that enjoys making people feel uncomfortable, and making herself feel needed. Don't allow her to make you feel either of these... you'd be reinforcing her bad behavior.

Something to try... Set her up for failure.
First...talk to your man, express your concerns, but don't accuse, or tell him to choose.
Second, when she bad talks your man, and says "he's cheating on you", confont her..and tell her you don't believe her. Tell her to prove it. Make it clear, that you're not willing to put up with her BS. The result of this will most likely be that she'll then go throw insults about you, at your fiancee.. Since he already knows your concerns... there's a good chance he'll see what she's up to.

Answer 2

It seems she is NOT an back stabbing B-

She might be a regular run of the mill B, but she doesn't stab you in the back-

She talks smack, but everyone does, this is pretty normal,

and by your mans own admission he did cheat, and sorry but your sis inlaw - did not force him to stick his prick in the other girl,

And i am a firm believer that once a cheater always a cheater,
but that doesn't mean you have to leave him.

I think you are jealous and suspect she is after your man, and her man.

And I think that as far as her talking to your man about her man, its pretty normal to try and vent and talk to his brother- the are twins and very close who better to get and idea of where your man is coming from, and who knows him better but his twin,

I would think that was smart she wants to solve issues, and vent so she doesn't take it out on him. and they have a lasting relationship,

Your BF already knows her well, and likes her,and he is trying to make it work- He loves his bro, and they are family, he loves his niece or nephew and realizes that she is family, and always will be married or not,

he knows that they will see eachother for the rest of there lives so they need to get along,

Like it or not,

if you want to stay apart of this family, you and her need to get over this,

stop trying to get people to go against her , and try to see your side

it is NOT about you its about, family unity, and right now, your disrupting it.

And Its not like I am taking anyone side cause I don't know you, but you have to realize that even if she was a crack dealing, theif,
she is still his family, and she isn't going anywhere, he will never leave his brother,

And thats what you are asking him to do.

So stop, and start trying to heal things,

Good luck

Meg

Answer 3

There are over 6 billion human beings on our planet. to think of that there is largely one which you will have a functional relationship with is slightly naive. once you're fortunate, you nonetheless discover the guy beautiful after the honeymoon era, and something is artwork to maintain that going. A "soul mate" is a very good concept, yet i don't think of that is in any respect sensible.

Answer 4

A small and easy to hide voice recorder. That so if she says anything behind his back, you can prove it with her own words. Just make sure she dose not know you are doing it.

Answer 5

dam you re in a hard spot. just try and explain to you re hubby what you just said to us. and if he doesn't believe you then its obvious he doesn't care enough to act on it. i also suggest you talk to her husband and let him know whats going on with his wife. i think shes jealous that her marriage is failing and she doesn't want you and you re hubby to be happy since shes miserable.
good luck

Answer 6

Sounds like she might be Bipolar.