Tell me about the biggest romantic disaster of your life?and how did you cope?

Question

My bf of nearly 5 yrs recently confessed to 1 night stand.I'm not coping...

I ddn't confront him.I thought he had been acting weird.He didn't want to go home with me or anything for 3 weeks.Then he showed up at my house and told me, he said had been very drunk at the time.

Answer 1

Share a little about your own disastrous experience, and I might edit this reply.

Thanks for sharing your experience. Was he away from you when he did this? Were you separated for more than a few days? How did his confession come about? Could he bear the guilt no longer, or did you confront him with some evidence?These are the things you need to consider. These are important things. These will shape the way you see this episode.

Having said this, we now come to the question of your coping. What is coping? Coping means acceptance of a situation. Whether you like it or not, whether you are hurt or not, it has happened. It is part of your personal life-history. You cannot will it away, much as you might like to. You might wish it never happened, even pretend it to be so, but the fact remains that it has, and you have to live with that fact. Once you accept that as part of your life, you will have won half the emotional battle you've been fighting with yourself. Yes, it is a battle, a big one, and can take a very heavy toll on your mind. Accept it as having happened, and the burden will be much lessened.

When you reflect upon it, you will find that these incidents are necessary for our own personal growth. We emerge stronger persons, and are in a position to bring comfort to others in similar circumstances.

You've been together for 5 years. Is he your first ever? Are you his first ever? Perhaps it is time for both of you to take a 6-month break, as a test period. Have an understanding that for 6 months you would both be free to live your life as you wish. Both of you would be free to explore new relationships, no questions asked. If you get back together as a couple after 6 months, you are meant for each other. Because now you have CHOSEN to remain together despite other opportunities. If you do not, then at least you won't be wasting more years as a "non-couple".

I think it is important for both of you to have this break. You need to see if other men attract you. Your boyfriend may not agree. He may declare his deep love for you, and refuse to take the 6-month break. But that would be his fear of losing you showing up. That can also be very telling. His real feelings for you will be revealed. Don't be too ready to give in to him, as you will only delude yourself, and lull yourself into a dangerous complacency. Besides, you'll just become a victim in his game, and soon come to grief.

You MUST insist that it is YOU who want to measure your life so far, and take decisions for the future. You must assert yourself. And, mind you, this is not a bluff you're playing on him. It's for real. You must mean every word you say. You must WANT to meet other men and take your decisions on what course your future life will take. That's important for you. This incident is a God-sent opportunity to assess your own life. Don't miss it.

Take this time to reflect on your relationship. You've been with him 5 years. Would you like to be with him for the next 20? See what your heart tells you. Might you want to meet other men with romance as a possibility? Go out into the world, and give yourself a chance. You'll have your answer soon.

Remember Shakespeare's words: "All's well that ends well." ... whichever way it happens.

Answer 2

the last one, there's this guy I met last year in a travel club, I didn't like him in a special way but I had a good time so I came back after some time, I've very little time for traveling. the 2nd time wasn't so fun but he called me right when I arrived home to have a date, so I got scared and said no, I expected him not to call again but he did, after 2-3 days, and I said no again, because I didn't feel well, and he called me again next day, so I went although I really felt bad, and when we were close to kissing I backed off because I got scared again and I need to go slow, I told him that and other things but either he didn't hear me or did't believe me, bcause he only txted me once more saying sorry and never again tried anything, the thing is I really liked him and now I can't travel with him any more, too embarrassing
I'm not coping at all I think of calling him every day

Answer 3

Well it was my gf birthday, she had worked late that night. I had planned a nice romantic meal for us a nice cooked steak, wine the whole nine yards. I had her bath water in the tub for her when she got home, so she could bathe while I was finishing supper. Well when she got out of the bath our drunken neighbor came over to tell us that her husband was beating her. Mind you my gf was in her robe when this happened. Well we tried to do the right thing and called the police, but when we did that the girl started freaking out and left. However the police showed up to ask us what was going on with her. We really didn't overcome it due to the fact her b-day only comes around once a year.

Answer 4

Well. See this is a long story, so bear with me. I started off dating, by going out with the girl that I'm with now. I was 15. She was 13. But anyway- due to a bunch of lies told to her by friends, she thought I was calling her down to the other guys. So she broke it off. We were about 16 and 14 respectively. Now I'm lonely, and my stepfather left my mom to boot and took my two-stepsisters. So I'm all alone with my mom and we have to move because we can't afford to live there anymore. So friends come over to help us move. They have a daughter... I'm not going to say her name, just in case anyone I know reads this. But her and I were really good friends (like you know, almost bro and sis) she really helped me after I broke up with the first girl. And well... we kind of began to be attracted to each other. So we went out, and I was WAY too needy I guess, so she dumped me, and I've never been able to get close to her as friends since. Time is healing some things, but I have learned some things from it. NEVER DATE YOUR BEST FRIENDS. It doesn't work and you'll never be friends anymore. I coped with it by forgiving her and myself (for being really dumb) and moving on with my life. The wound will be there until I die, I know that, because I hurt her trust.

Answer 5

the cork stuck in a very special bottle of wine, when it finally came loose, it spilled onto her very expensive white dress...i mean, it was gonna come off at some point, but not that soon!

Answer 6

I went out with a boy once that delivered his sister with him. She replaced into from out of city and she taken aback him even as she popped in only as he replaced into leaving to %. me up. The humorous element replaced into, I had more advantageous relaxing including her, she replaced right into a hoot. I by no skill went on yet another date with him although. i assumed that he must have suggested as me and informed me his sister popped in, and given me the alternative of fixing the date plans. even though it replaced into awkward even as he picked me up, with a woman in tow and he did not grant an evidence till eventually we left and my mom and father had a collection of human beings over for a dinner social gathering and each and each and anybody concept it replaced into unusual.

Answer 7

Forgive him and move on. Seriously ... if it is the only time he has every strayed, put it down to life's rich tapestry and forget it. Otherwise, you will be punishing yourself for his mistake.

Answer 8

my Ex and i were together for 4 years and she just broke up with me 2 weeks ago .... I was going t propose to her infront of our families on x-mas eve. ...........She has already been seeing some one for a week

Answer 9

my ex proposed to me infront of his family... i accepted it... then i met his bestfriend and i suddenly became the green eyed monster... we broke off... his mother was so angry with me... then i learned that a week after we broke up.. he and his bestfriend are dating.... i got over it after 8 mos.... thanks to friends and chocolates!