I have just begun dating someone who I had met online and had had a few months of email/IM/phone conversations prior to our dating. We have been on only 3 dates and each time, we had a wonderful time... full of talking, laughter, etc. .. He is 46 and I am 39. I let something rather stupid get the best of me and it has since spiraled to a bad place. He had indicated to me the last time we spent time together, that he wanted to see only me and looked forward to getting to know me more and more, etc. I agreed that I would do the same because I saw potential. Well, I saw that he was online one day, and needless to say, it got the best of me, I didn't know how to approach him and I basically got mean and told him it's over..(out of fear).. .Now I regret it, he hasn't been responsive to my emails so I've lashed out more... How does someone redeem themselves in this type of situation? I've sent an e-card saying sorry - and that I'd like another chance.. anybody ever experience this?
2006-12-07 03:55:19 · 18 answers · asked by cmlyna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
go up face to face with him, tell him what made you do it, and apologize, tell him what you feel, will you let it happen again? if you wont, then tell him! sending e-cards and IMs are not as meaningful as the real thing standing in front of him and usually dont work... its better to go to him and tell him personally how you feel, why you did it, and how it would be if he gave you another chance...by that, of course i mean whether you would hurt him like that again. guys need assurance too! the best of luck to you!!!! hurry before it's REALLY too late!
2006-12-07 04:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by ishida25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well apparently when you lashed out at him you really ticked the guy off. The first thing I would do if I really cared was not to send him a sensless e-card. I would find him and tell him to his face what I am thinking and how sorry I am about what I did. I know at one time I was really hooked on the internet and talked to women all the time. Nothing ever became of these conversations but you always wondered what if? You should ask yourself a couple of honest questions about what you know and who was he talking to on the internet. Was it another woman or was it a man friend? Only you can see if this relationship is even worth chasing. I know you don't want a man who has alot of people on the internet who he is talking to all the time. It would just be a matter of time before he found someone to replace you.
2006-12-07 12:10:01 · answer #2 · answered by dandls_99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um... I don't know anybody who has experienced this exactly but... i guess i can empathize.
I might have a better idea of what to advise you to do if I knew what the something stupid was... I to me this seems VERY sudden well we talked and it was good we dated 3 times and he said he wanted to see only me then i started sending him mean e-mails?
what happened? As for getting him back, the only thing that you can do is send him an E-mail and fully explain yourself, you gotta let yourself be vulnerable. Explain to him why you did what you did how sorry you are and what you are doing and are willing to do to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Then you HAVE to back off and let him come to you, if he is going to and he may not, he may be convinced that your crazy or that he doesn't want that level of drama, and he wouldn't be wrong thinking that either.
Just apologize explain to him that you were afraid and that you would like another chance, to at least be his friend, and see where it goes from there, but it might be beyond saving, not because what you did was so wrong but because he doesn't really have much invested in you and may be unwilling to deal with problems like this; this early on in the relationship.
Good Luck and I hope this helps.
2006-12-07 12:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just acted on impulse. A logical person knows that when meeting someone online the likelihood that the person is going to not ever be online after finding someone is slim to none. Besides, you don't know what he was doing on there, and would have probably been better off just discussing it like an adult...we all make mistakes though and if you genuinely apologized I think that's all you can do. If he's not willing to accept that then maybe he's not the kind of guy your looking for anyway. Be happy that you found out early!
2006-12-07 12:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by niknac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I only experienced it once when a girl did that to me. It totally freaked me out and there was no way I was talking to her again. I have to say, if you are 39 and still doing those kinds of things, it is a big, huge red flag for men.
Sorry.
2006-12-07 11:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can really do in this situation is give him time. if you've already said your apologies, that's all anyone can do, really. are you by any chance bipolar? does he know this? maybe just out of fear, you've sabotaged this or for whatever reason... the point is, give him time otherwise you're just going to come out looking psycho and that's not a good thing.
2006-12-07 12:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can do is sit back and wait to see if he excepts that you are sorry. But PLEASE don't lash out at him anymore it will only hurt your chance of him forgiving you. Instead when you get really mad call a friend and complain to them about the problem.
2006-12-07 12:00:12 · answer #7 · answered by ohiomontana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see the thing is, ur 39 and he didn't expect for you to play that game with him. See, now u messed up and might've blew it all away. He's too old to be wasting his time. It's probably over.
2006-12-07 12:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by Virgo Fa Sho!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I have not experianced that exact thing however I have made rash decisions. Let him know what your fear was... that way he may understand and then send him flowers... yes even men like flowers. Good luck!
2006-12-07 11:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well girl it seems like he ran like hell honey he mite or mite not come back just keep being patient and keep those I'm sorry notes coming explain to him what really happen good luck
2006-12-07 12:00:41 · answer #10 · answered by Toni H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋