My son is having problems in daycare? What to do?

Question

My son recently started daycare. At first he enjoyed it .. now he cries when I drop him off. He only goes 2 days a week.

He is almost 4. Previous daycare arrangements were always with my Mom. She has kept him through the day while I work since he was a baby. He was rarley around other kids.

He did say that he doesn't like one of the teachers. Is this normal? What issues have you had with your little one's first time away from home?

Answer 1

My son had the same problem when he started daycare. It is completely normal. They will find any excuse to stay home with you or somewhere that is familiar (your mom's), but by putting him daycare, you will make him become more social with his peers. Mine still tried to tell me that people are being "mean" to him, but when I ask him why, he has no idea, then starts to cry that he wants to come to work with me. He is 6, and has been in daycare situations since he was 3.

Answer 2

Well, if your son loved day care before and HATES it now, something must have happened! Maybe the teacher said something to him that really hurt his feelings. Maybe she was a little to aggressive with him at one point. That must be hard having to drop off a screaming kid at a day care and to think about it all day long while your working. I would talk to your son and ask him what happened to make him hate daycare so much, than I would talk to the teacher after to clear it all up. You should hear both sides of the story! If you feel that the teacher was out of line or whatever than I suggest finding a new daycare! It will be more stress on you and your son if he really does not want to go!

Answer 3

Try letting your son bring a picture of you and his family to hang onto.
Let him bring a stuffed animal or trinket to keep in his pocket. Suggest he make something for you when you pick him up. Draw a picture of a clock face with the hands pointing to the time that you will pick him up so he can match it with the classroom clock.
Ask the teacher if you can purchase a snack for your son to share with his new friends.
Plan a playdate with another child from the class
Drop him off early and spend some time with him before leaving. Stay with him and play when you pick him up. Be very excited about his cool new toys and things to do. Talk to his teachers and let him know how much YOU like them.

Pick him up early once in awhile unannounced. Watch the teachers. Is there anything you think he might not be comfortable with? Sometimes teachers know how to put on a good face while the parents are there. Trust your gut. More than likely, he just misses you and he'll be fine sooner than later.

Answer 4

1st of all.....Grandmothers totally spoil their grandbabies....there's no denying that.
2nd, people (expecially kids) don't like change or n e thing out of the norm. Is he an only child? This could be another factor. I am an only child as well. I know that an only child THINKS everything in the WORLD belongs to them. Therefore, there might be a sharing issue between the other kids. Resulting in disipline from the teachers.
3rd, Kids will do ANYTHING.....Did I say anything? I mean A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G to get your attention or to get their way. Be consistant in your rewards for good behavior and consequences for bad behavior.

Personally, when I drop off my kids and they have had a bad streak. I tell them or show them a treat that I will give, if there is no report of bad behavior when I pick them up. And make sure u follow through. If a bad report happens, no treat and maybe no cartoons for the night or something special to your child.

Step up Mom....here is when you got to keep in control. Don't let them control you or your household. DON"T comprimise with a 4 year old. U know what's best for him....HE's 4....HE DOESN"T

Answer 5

I can only tell you what I have experienced. My girlfriend's son had a lot of behavioral issues when I first met him. He would throw fits and scream an ear piercing scream whenever he didn't get his own way. I actually nipped that in the bud in less than a month with some kind of punishment and reiterating that this was a completely unnacceptable behavior. Now, he still has an attitude about certain things, and he still throws fits as does my own son, but they are both 2 years old. Now, when either one of them does anything, I put them in the corner for a pre-determined ammount of time and I actually set a timer. After the timer goes off, he is allowed out of the corner, but then he has to come sit on the couch and here a lecture about how his behavior is unacceptable. We have been doing this for about three weeks now and have seen remarkable progress. Also, before the boys can go back to playing, they have to tell me they are sorry and then they get a hug and kiss.

Answer 6

Can you take a day to visit the daycare and see what really happens? If all seems normal (nice teachers and nice activities), reward him for smiling and waving when you drop him off. I had to do that with my 3 year old at preschool. When picked him up, we would go directly to the library and check out a movie. After he got better about the smile and wave, we created a star chart where he earned bigger rewards (go out for ice cream, Grandmas, etc.) by earning 5 stars. Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

The cries are perfectly normal.that is your son's way of seeing how far he can push your buttons to get his way.He may hate the teacher because offten in daycares limits are set.And your son may just have to adjust to those limits.When he is home continue to show him you care.When he goes to daycare when you pick him up try to sound so excited that he went to"school".My daughter too had that problem in daycare. She is 10 now but when she was 3 and i sounded excited for her to go to "school" she thought she was big stuff and she started adjusting to it.

Answer 8

Have you heard of daycare Hell?
I would take him seriously when he said he doesn't like one of the teachers. There might be something going on there.
Your son first enjoyed it, now cries? Something happened.
You should ask him what is going on, a young child is very candid.
Since he is four, I think he would enjoy the play time with other children.
You need to know what is really going on.
Good luck.

Answer 9

If he is not used to other kids and other adults with authority then he will have a hard time of it. I personally had no issues as my first child was in daycare and then went right into preschool fulltime. With my second, she was well exposed to other kids and other adults before preschool so made the transition very easily.

Answer 10

this is a normal reaction when a child has been at home or in the care of someone for a long time. if you are worried, make some surprise visits to reassure yourself. don't let him see you on these visits. another thing is to try to talk to some of the other parents. it will be harder in the long run if you do not let him "grow up" for the both of you. good luck.