I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend of 5 years. We're talking about marriage. He has 2 children. Whenever they have events, such as, plays that they are in or sports. I never get invited. I'm not sure what my role is, but how should a blended family deal with this? Am I to stay out or what? They are still in elementary school. Do you think my boyfriend should be the one to say something or say nothing at all? Thanks. I really do love these kids.
2006-12-07 03:08:22 · 17 answers · asked by Andrea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
5 years? I hate to tell you, but you are just as much a part of their lives as their two biological parents. He MUST include you in their lives or he isnt including you in his life! This needs to be fixed or you will loose them all. You must confront him and tell him how you feel. And if he keeps you out, then he is keeping you out of his life too, or he is just using you.
2006-12-07 03:16:19 · answer #1 · answered by April was here 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i hate to say this but you don't have a role till him and x invite you to it seems like after 5 yrs you would have been invited and yes your boyfriend should step up and say something how can you talk about marriage and not talk about this first if your gonna be his wife and you have kids and go on vacations does he take two vacations or do you sit home like a good girl while he goes this is major stuff to think about before marriage so sit him down start ironing out cause this will be huge problem after i do good luck
2006-12-07 04:03:56 · answer #2 · answered by theessenceofrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why wouldnt he invite you to those events? Is his kids mother there? IF you two are going to be married you all need to start acting like a family and do things together, maybe he is waitting until marriage for the kids sake. good luck
2006-12-07 03:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by daisy322_98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not ask the kids if it would be alright if you were to go and watch them in their plays or sports activities etc. They may be very proud to have you accompany them to these events but don't know of your interest in watching them grow. Discuss it with your man and get his opinion also. But allow the kids to have a say in whether or not they would like you there for a support. Good luck.
2006-12-07 03:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont try and be their mum..dont get sulky when u dont get invited to crimbo plays or school fetes or woteva,try to take it on the chin,it doesnt mean the kids dont love you or that your partner just sees u as a housewife he just wants wots best for his kids n by ranting and raving saying"why cant i go blah blah" you will make things worse, his kids are his top priority and if they just want their mummy and daddy at the plays then you need to take a back seat and say"ok but id really like to be at your next sports day"(or something similar)or wot you could do is say"well how about mummy and daddy c u in this and that and we go out for the day just the 3 of us and do something special without daddy"then u can at least play a role without feeling left out..BEST OF LUCK XX
2006-12-07 03:24:39 · answer #5 · answered by greyhound mummy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are not married yet so maybe you shouldn't get so comfortable in the kids lives atleast until you are engaged to be married. You should express how you feel to your boyfriend and let him know you want to be more involved with his children b/c in the end it is up to him to bring you in so that his children get use to u and develop a relationship with you. You can't impose b/c its really not your call.
2006-12-07 03:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by Forever_Young 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to marry you, you will then assume the role as step-parent. It is important that the kids see you as a respectable authorative figure. They also need to know that you are there for them. Tell your boyfriend that you think you need a larger role in their life, whether that be in homework, sports, even discipline... If you aren't a parent to them now, they won't see you as one when you are. Time to start practicing...
2006-12-07 03:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Butterfly ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon the situation. If there is an 'ex-wife' , then that's probably why you are not invited to the events that involve both parents (can be very uncomfortable for all involved). However, if you are going to be his new wife, then you will need to be apart of those types of situations,eventually. I would talk to him about it before you get married.
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2006-12-07 03:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by MRJACK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does "he won't enable me" propose? in simple terms curious. you're unfastened to do regardless of the hell you opt for. i think of which you will answer your guy or woman question right here expensive. you recognize that he isn't any sturdy. From the sounds of it he's the style of guy that isn't awaken and take you severe till you pass away. speaking of course does no sturdy with him, because of the fact that's all threats and broken grants. Act on your be conscious for as quickly as. in case you're no longer waiting to pass away him for sturdy, then a minimum of tell him which you need to spend some weeks aside without touch till issues get greater valuable or do no longer and then after thoses few weeks you will make a permanant desicion. in case you are trying this you will incredibly discover out if he cares or no longer. sturdy success :-)
2016-12-18 09:12:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your fieance that you feel that you are being left out. tell him that you would love to go to the events with him and to be part of his children life. but make sure they know that you are not stepping trying to take over there real mother. you should be able to attend gatherings at school and that. unless its on her side. then i can see but his side you should be there with him. but talk to him and tell him how you are feeling, thats the only way hes going to know good luck.
2006-12-07 03:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋